Directed by Steve Buscemi

Written by Steve Buscemi and David Schechter, based on an original screenplay by Theodor Holman

Starring: Steve Buscemi and Sienna Miller

83 min.

Given the current Internet frenzy, it’s a wonder that it took so long for a releasing company to include a “dot com” as part of its logo. CinemaVault.com’s Interview is the first such film.

It is also the first installment of a three-part series of films based on the work of Dutch director Theo Van Gogh (great grandson of Vincent Van Gogh’s brother Theo), whose November, 2004, murder by Muslim extremists was motivated by political and racial intolerance. His slaughter in the streets of Amsterdam apparently was in direct response to Submission Part 1, a televised documentary on the mistreatment of Islamic women.

Before the shooting, Van Gogh had decided to Americanize three of his films. His death caused longtime producer Gijs van de Westelaken and his American counterpart Bruce Weiss to see the filmmaker’s trilogy through to fruition.

The other two chapters are directed by John Turturro and Stanley Tucci. In the press notes, Westelaken explains: “The films all have a central and very universal theme: the battle between men and women. We are really touched that Steve, Stanley and John have come onboard this project to help realize Theo’s dream.”

Interview is a two-character, no-holds-barred battle of the sexes: Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? minus Nick and Martha. Pierre Peders (Steve Buscemi), a self-loathing print reporter at odds with his boss, is prohibited from covering an important Washington assignment. His punishment: an exclusive interview with reigning pop diva Katya (Sienna Miller).

Katya’s fame centers around whom she beds and the fact that she’s the only gal in town brave enough to boast about having her breasts reduced. (The first we see of Katya is a close-up of her chest.) Pierre can name more of her sexual conquests than films she’s been in.

Not looking forward to the assignment and knowing nothing of her work, he decides that they should meet for dinner. Before the main course is ordered, he’s calling her “Cuntya” and she’s running toward the door. A minor traffic scuffle outside the restaurant arouses sympathy in Katya, who invites Pierre back to her place to nurse his wounds.

Once inside the fun and games begin: He’ll stop at nothing to get his story, and she’ll see to it that he gets a whopper.

Buscemi, one of the most durable character actors of his generation, is no stranger to directing. His first film, Trees Lounge, was an indie delight. The story of a loser living atop a tap is Buscemi’s strongest work to date. There isn’t another film made in the past 10 years that had a curtain shot as damning as the one of career drunk Buscemi assuming his rightful position perched on a barstool.

His next two outings didn’t fare as well. Animal Factory, which never opened in San Diego, was a tepid “bruisers behind bars” drama and Lonesome Jim, a romantic comedy starring Liv Tyler and Casey Affleck, is as visually hideous a film as any you’re likely to encounter.

Even with Van Gogh’s regular cinematographer, Thomas Kist, at the helm, Interview is far from visually engaging. The press notes brag about “a fast paced, forceful method of using three digital cameras running at all takes, with one camera trained on each character … and one camera capturing middle and master shots.” It’s nice to see that the Dutch have finally caught up with Karl Freund’s revolutionary three-camera setup for filming “I Love Lucy.”

Buscemi is the closest contemporary cinema comes to Peter Lorre. Bug-eyed and with a stalagmite grin that would frighten even the most assured spelunker, he’s hardly leading-man material. In a little over 20 years, the guy has almost single handedly kept the spirit of the character actor alive by appearing in more than a hundred films.

Without ever inducing claustrophobia or giving the impression that his camera is placed just out of range of the proscenium arch, Buscemi pulls his two opposing characters further toward the dark side, and several of the heated dialogue exchanges are worthy of the Nick St. John (Abel Ferrara’s trusty gag writer) Certificate of Approval.

Even though rife with venality, one can’t help but like Pierre. You won’t take delight in watching him be brought down a few rungs. Besides, Buscemi is so damn good at what he does.

As Katya, the same can be said of Miller. Everything that was promised in Factory Girl comes to the screen in Interview. Not only is she given stronger material to work with, she adds just enough seductive deception to keep you guessing right up ’til the last betrayal.

Buscemi the director has returned to form. I had a lot of fun watching these two go at it, particularly once the tape recorder and gloves are off.

Rating:

Directed by Ken Kwapis

Written by Kim Barker, Tim Rasmussen and Vince Di Meglio

Starring: Robin Williams, John Krasinski, Mandy Moore and Josh Flitter

90 min.

Ken Kwapis will always be a legend in my eyes. Not so much for the films he makes, but for the ones he showed.

In the ’70s, Kwapis was in charge of Northwestern University’s film society, and it was he who gave me my first chance to see Frank “Apogee” Tashlin films projected on a screen. It was tantamount to pulling a sequoia from my paw.

With the exception of one avalanche gag involving an unhinged set of coffee shop stanchion belts, the spirit of Mr. Tashlin remains obscured by Robin Williams.

On sitcoms or delivering stand up, Robin Williams’ freewheeling improvisation is capable of inducing fits of laughter. In films like One Hour Photo and Insomnia, he proved to be a more-than-capable crackpot.

Even if one were to forgive well-intentioned message bombers like Jakob the Liar and Patch Adams, there are still a slew of loathsome “comedies” to contend with, and License to Wed earns a deserved place near the bottom. It will leave you longing for RV.

The thought of a reverend, a man who basically lets his balls go to waste, giving sexual advice to a couple of heterosexual newlyweds should yield at least a few chuckles. Every image that just popped into your head is funnier than anything on display here.

Rev. Frank (Williams) has a unique manner in which to lead his flock. He makes religion entertaining by turning a Sunday school session into a fun-filled game of Commandment Challenge. With all the “clap” and “jugs” jokes spewed around the kids, it’s surprising that he’s not running the McMartin Pre-School.

When Sadie (Mandy Moore) and John (John Krasinski) decide to rush their nuptials, she insists that they take Rev. Frank’s crash course to prepare for married life. Instead of studying Leviticus, Rev. Frank seems better versed in Mein Kampf.

With the aid of his 9-year-old henchman, Choir Boy, a pudgy version of Damien played by Josh Flitter, Frank violates every rule of common decency to see to it that the young couple refrains from pre-marital intercourse.

He sends Choir Boy to break into Sadie’s house and wire her bedroom for sound. The vicarious vicar makes house calls the second he hears them about to bed. He goes so far as asking Sadie what she likes in bed.

Even an ancient Woody Allen routine is resurrected. The hilarious “gun/gub” exchange from Take the Money and Run is reduced to five minutes of audience silence during a “never to part/fart” gag.

When it’s over, and Rev. Frank has performed countless unspeakable acts of cruelty against poor John, the screenwriters have them embrace. These dolts genuinely want us to like this righteous monster. They should have been more honest by turning this “chick flick” into a “dick flick” and having Rev. Frank give it to Choir Boy in the rectory.

Rating: m