In a recent two-part series in Philadelphia Gay News, journalist Victoria A. Brownworth tackled myths. These myths weren’t the fun kind, involving a winged horse or a woman with snakes for hair (talk about untamable tresses).

These myths are no fun at all. The chief myth is that, in same-sex relationships, domestic violence doesn’t happen.

It does happen, as surely as Aphrodite was the Greek goddess of love, Venus the Roman goddess of love, and Dr. Ruth the American goddess of love.

The domestic violence numbers, while approximate, are still scary. From one-quarter to one-third of GLBT relationships include abuse. If it makes you feel any better, that’s comparable to straight relationships.

For both gays and straights, domestic violence is rising. That makes me feel like the world is seriously off-kilter. Perhaps Atlas needs to see a chiropractor.

Underpinning the myth that gay people don’t suffer from domestic violence are other myths. For instance, it’s easy to assume that relationships devoid of men are relationships devoid of violence.

And Hades is a nice place to visit.

“Women-only space is not safe space,” said Lee Carpenter of Equality Advocates Pennsylvania. Many women want safe space, she said, and they think, “‘If I eradicate the presence of men, then it will be safe.’ Except that it’s about eradicating the violence, and a lot of women are carrying that around with them.”

Lesbians can and do hurt each other, behaving less like Aphrodite, the goddess of love, and more like Athena, the goddess of war. Perhaps we need an Albright, the Clinton-era goddess of mediation.

The myth on the guys’ side is that only men as tall and built as a barrette get beaten. Brownworth quoted a male domestic violence victim, a gym regular, who said, “The biggest lie you can tell me is that we can’t get hurt by our lovers because we’re men. We’re supposed to be tough. Allegedly we can dish it out as well as take it. That’s crap.”

Roberta Hacker, executive director of a Philadelphia agency for battered women, explained that “the social contract says men are never supposed or even allowed to be victims, so there are few places for a man to turn when he is battered by his male partner.” Not many guys feel the urge to shout the news from Mount Olympus.

“One of the things you see a lot of is threats against someone’s job,” Carpenter said. “Threats of outing, threats of exposing someone to their boss or their family. There’s a lot of stalking behavior as well.”

Sometimes I’m proud of when we do things differently from the straight world. This isn’t one of those times.

Gay relationships also include unique cargo, and I’m not referring to a golden fleece.

Speaking about lesbians but clearly applicable to gay men too, Hacker said, “Homophobia, isolation, self-loathing, the feeling that you only have each other against the outside world. All of these things can play a role in an abusive relationship between two women. They also make it that much harder for women to seek help—or find it.”

It’s all depressing enough to think Zeus was right to toss thunderbolts at mortals.

Carpenter declared that GLBT people keep quiet on the matter of domestic violence. “We don’t want our dirty laundry aired in the straight arena. We don’t want to give them reasons to point fingers at us.”

It’s time to employ Mercury the messenger to spread the news, what with the speed he gets up from those wings on his hat and ankles. Because it seems the final myth is that exposing our failings would be like opening Pandora’s box.