“When J.K. Rowling announced at Carnegie Hall that Albus Dumbledore–her Aslan, her Gandalf, her Yoda–was gay, the crowd apparently sat in silence for a few seconds and then burst into wild applause. I’m still sitting in silence. Dumbledore himself never saw fit to come out of the closet before dying in book six. And I feel a bit like I did when we learned too much about Mark Foley and Larry Craig: You are not quite the role model I’d hoped for as a gay man. I’m not defending the closet, a perilous and sad place. But I don’t see how Rowling’s outing of Dumbledore strikes a blow for gay equality so great that even Carnegie Hall–cathedral of the arts, cynosure of homosexuals–should erupt in joy.”

“Some people I date that are a little recognizable, it kind of gets out there and all of a sudden you have a boyfriend you never labeled as a boyfriend. And that ruins your chances of anyone else asking you out! So I try to keep things very quiet. I’ve been dating someone in particular I’m getting to know a lot better and having a lot of fun.”

“It was hands off the Bush girls for the past seven years. Nobody could say a word about them. They’ve stood for nothing; they’ve said nothing, they are flatliners. Their mother is a flatliner–Laura Bush has done nothing to define this country; she’s done nothing as a woman.”