This past Veterans Day weekend, the San Diego Chapter of American Veterans for Equal Rights (AVER) in coalition with a dozen organizations, groups, and individuals hosted several GLBT Veterans Day events including the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) Rally that called for DADT’s repeal. The Los Angeles City Council, on Nov. 7, also called upon Congress for DADT’s repeal, passing a resolution that has been sent to the city’s mayor for signature.

Other Veterans Day events included the AVER float and walking contingent in the San Diego County Veterans Day Parade, the Military Ball Cocktail Party Fundraiser at The Center and numerous bar/club celebrations.

GLBT community leaders and supporters including congressmembers Susan Davis and Bob Filner and reality TV star Riechen Lehmkuhl attended the festivities to honor servicemembers, share the experience of “serving in silence,” and demand the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

“This weekend cannot go by without remembering all those gay and lesbian veterans who have served our country proudly and every war and those now serving in silence,” said city commissioner Nicole Murray-Ramirez at the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Rally. “Our message to these veterans, to these proud Americans and those on active duty is that your communities are very proud of you and we stand with you.”

Between 25 to 30 people attended the Rally, including local news media, which began with AVER members shouting, “Do ask, do tell. Honor every veteran,” and holding signs that read “Lift the Ban.” Several community leaders spoke at the event including Murray-Ramirez and local gay veteran Eric McDonald.

Veterans and current servicemembers shared their experiences of serving in the military both before and after “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

“Although ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ has made it easier for some, it has changed little for most of us,” said McDonald. “We continue to serve in silence…. Some of the people I knew were really out at work and nothing happened, yet others sometimes who were quite closeted and were forced out of the service because of a rumor.”

One Veteran attendee, who identified himself as “sexual,” said his comrades tried to get him discharged because they perceived him to be gay.

“I actually served under part of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.’ I was actually the victim of a witch-hunt trying to figure out whether I was gay. This was in ’89…. For many years of my life, I’ve been presumed to be a homosexual because at 5-foot-8 and barely 125 pounds, many people perceive me to be homosexual.”

Many serving in silence have feelings of isolation. Murray-Ramirez read from a card he recently received from a gay servicemember stationed in Iraq.

“It’s real lonely for me out here,” it read. “A lot of my army buddies have been killed. It’s hard for me, because I can’t write or communicate with the person I love, as you know why. I am even afraid to put their picture in my wallet. But I know we are here for a good reason and to help those people in their country…. I just wish I could be myself, but maybe someday.”

The weekend highlight was the Military Ball Cocktail Reception. GLBT veterans and active duty personnel, many of whom could be discharged from service for attending such an event, filled The Center’s auditorium, decorated in military emblems and American flags.

With a ticket price of $20 and with approximately 200 people in attendance, the event raised nearly $2,000, said Ben Gomez, president of the San Diego Chapter of AVER, and co-chair of its events committee, which coordinated the weekend’s GLBT Veterans Day events.

The Military Ball began with a social hour of food and drink, and a rendition of the National Anthem by the San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus, followed by an hour of speakers beginning with Murray-Ramirez, and congressmembers Davis and Filner, star Lehmkuhl, and Carolina Dessert, The Center’s public affairs coordinator, among others.

Ben F. Dillingham III was honored with the Veteran of the Year award.

The military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy was continually discussed through out the night.

“It takes courage to serve in our military. It takes more to serve as LGBT individuals, and even more to stand here tonight as a veteran against a policy that is so clearly unjust,” said Dessert.

While both congressmembers gave their support for the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” Davis, who is the chair of the subcommittee on military personnel, spoke about her plans for a congressional hearing on the issue.

“It is our committee that will hopefully have the most comprehensive hearing on this issue. We will get there. I want it to be under my watch, I really do, because it is absolutely the right thing to do,” Davis said.

Besides Los Angeles, city councils in Atlanta, Chicago, New York, San Francisco, St. Louis, Tucson, West Hollywood, and Cathedral City, Calif., have called for the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” The California State Legislature also recently approved a resolution calling for an end to the ban.

The night’s guest speaker, Lehmkuhl, used his recent notoriety to speak about GLBT military issues.

“I gained a little bit of public notoriety, such as being on the ‘Amazing Race’ and all those things and that’s really great, but what’s really important to me is that I’ve been able to use that to talk about this problem and this issue about gays in the military,” he said. “There is not a day that goes by that I don’t speak about this issue…about the fact that we can be court-martialed just for coming out and admitting what God made you to be.”