As the holidays approach, some of us will make the customary trek home. Perhaps we’ll bring our new prospective better-half along to meet the family. Just think of how much easier it would be to find out if he or she is a real “survivor,” a lover up to the challenge, and worthy of the wild ride ahead.

We’ve compiled some not so ordinary dates to find out just how much potential your new relationship might have. (Of course, you’ll need a little humor along the way for perspective.)

It’s no secret that dating in the GLBT community is complex: The limited numbers of GLBT people immediately puts us at a disadvantage. Then, there are the societal constraints. For example, a straight couple approaches the hostess stand and says, “We’d like a table, please.” To which the hostess invariably replies, “And are we celebrating anything special tonight?” But, when Adam and Steve follow suit, there is often that awkward pause. The hostess looks around, waiting for the girlfriends to step forward. After all, it isn’t as if you could have walked in inconspicuously hand–in–hand.

And so, often we stay in our comfort zone – dinner and a movie in Hillcrest. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Some of our best friends have dinner and do movies in Hillcrest. That’s why it seems quite customary – even expected – when the guy you are meeting for the first time asks you to meet up for coffee or a beer.

Not my guy. He started by asking me to go for a Jamba Juice or a hot chocolate. Maybe I should have expected something different, because before I knew it, we were pushing the limits: Extreme roller coasters, sky diving, shark diving, hang gliding and NASCAR driving are just some of the incredible adventures we have sought out, while growing together in our relationship.

After all, Olympics are so last year (OK, so they’re actually next year, but they are rather passé). These days, it’s all about the X Games. Extreme sports for an extreme generation. Well, move over Tony Hawk, two can play at that game.

So, what is “extreme dating?” While that depends entirely on your style, all extreme dates have three things in common: adrenaline, trust and a release form – and we don’t mean a prenuptial.

This fall, it’s time to step – or jump – or dive – or drive – out of that comfort zone…

Getting into a relationship can be scary – especially when they take off at break-neck speeds and you find yourself on cloud nine. Wouldn’t you prefer to have a parachute?

If so, we recommend skydiving. In San Diego, the premier skydive company is Skydive San Diego, located in Jamul, just east of Otay Lakes. While the thought of jumping out the back end of a plane 12,000 feet above ground may make you light headed, there’s no need to worry – freefalling at more than 120 mph, you have plenty of air rushing past you (and into you), so you have no choice but to breathe. The real challenge, though, is to breathe calmly and take every last bit in – the amazing view of sunny Southern California, that is.

While most skydiving facilities take off from one place and you land several miles away, Skydive San Diego has a private airport with facilities dedicated solely to skydiving, which allows you to take off and land right in the same place.

Whether you want to tandem (which allows you to see how your date looks in a harness) or solo (which requires significant training), Skydive San Diego asserts its training is the same training Navy Seals receive. Additionally, Skydive San Diego’s staff, which is obviously doing what it loves, is incredibly friendly and makes sure that everyone is very comfortable with the experience.

(While my partner did comment to his tandem instructor that Fernando Cervantes, whom I was harnessed to, “looked a little small to be carrying his precious cargo,” the instructor assured him that I was in good hands and that I would land safely.)

Amazingly, somewhere between “arching” out of the plane and said landing, I managed to interview Cervantes. Admittedly, however, as he pointed out sights from as far south as Baja California, beyond Downtown San Diego to the Pacific Ocean, out to the desert and as far north as the eye could see, the rush was so great I forgot most of what he said.

I do, however, remember that he told me that I was number 15 for the day, (tandem jump that is). According to Blake Robinson, director of operations at Skydive San Diego, instructors typically jump 75 – 150 tandems per weekend, sometimes more in the summer months. More experienced jumpers (licensed jumpers who jump every week or so) make about five to 7,000 jumps per month.

“We get all sorts of people who come here for different reasons. And for most people, we are making their lifelong dreams come true,” Robinson said.

While there aren’t any GLBT sky diving clubs locally, he said, there are a few regular GLBT jumpers.

“I presume there are more that aren’t openly gay, but nobody seems to care,” Robinson said. “They don’t hang out separately, but are instead just part of the crew. That is the joy of living somewhere like San Diego – we are not an insular crowd at all…. The beauty of skydiving is that the experience is the same anywhere on the planet – freefall is freefall! The view, the aircraft, and the people change, but they all have skydiving in common.”

Price: Tandem prices start at $179 (if you pay by credit card, it is $199). Photos of your skydive experience are an additional $59, or for $99, a photo still and a complete DVD video of the extreme experience is available.

Tip: If you’re into group action, group discounts available. Additionally, there are often coupons for a free set of sky diving photos or video in the Community Magazine Uptown Coupon Book or the Reader. And remember, when your date asks if the reason you’ve agreed to do this is because you have a fear of heights that you are trying to overcome, be sure to impress him/her by saying, “No, I do extreme activities like this not to overcome a fear of heights, but rather to practice remaining very, very calm in very, very scary situations.” That’s what some wise man told me as we were on our drive out to make our jump. Oh, and don’t forget to smile for the camera!

At some point in your relationship, you’ll likely find yourself out enjoying your day. Then, rounding the corner, just as you lean in to remind your new beau / lass how much you adore them BAM! There’s your dreaded “ex.” Ever wonder how your new mate will handle the situation?

Perhaps one indicator might be how he or she handles the “X” at Six Flags Magic Mountain. The quest for amusement parks is to build something bigger and better, faster and scarier. It’s always about comparison, right? For years, Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio, boasted the most roller coasters in one park. A new capital improvement program by Six Flags in Valencia, Calif., changed all that in 2001 – 2002, with the park’s addition of Goliath, Jr., Déjà vu, and X, the first “Fourth Dimension” rollercoaster in the world.

X is different than any other rollercoaster. The 20-foot-wide, 70-foot-long, wing-shaped vehicles that run on the tracks seat 28 passengers, two abreast in 14 individual cars, seven on each side of the train. Each pair is semi-secluded, and this makes for a nice way to know if, in the middle of a crisis, your potential mate will be the kind who reaches over to calm you by taking our hand, or the one who screams and holds on for his own dear life.

As the train leaves the station facing backwards (and, well, don’t some of us find ourselves leaving the, errr, station backwards every once in a while?), it begins a 190-foot ascent, giving riders a breathtaking, panoramic view of the park that almost lulls you into comfort.

Of course, the first drop which is 215 feet, nearly vertical at 88.5 degrees and with a speed in excess of 75 mph, quickly reminds you why this is your X. The coaster ride time may only be two minutes (that’s 45 minutes in AOL time), but you’ll find yourself doing two raven turns, one front flip, a twisting front flip and two back flips, which can be very reminiscent of some relationships.

When installed in January 2002, X was dubbed the “most anticipated new ride of the decade” and the world’s first “Xtreme Coaster.” Now the question is did (your) X live up to all the hype?

Apparently not, because X, the world’s first fourth-dimensional thrill ride, is once again pushing all limits and taking extreme to the next level in 2008. This $10 million investment features completely redesigned, sleeker trains and introduces all-new, innovative, state-of-the-art visual, audio and sensory effects. X will move from the fourth dimension to the fifth and become X?!

“Since it opened in 2002, X, has been one of the most popular thrill rides on the planet,” said Jay Thomas, Six Flags Magic Mountain park president. “With the redesign, X? will take even the most daring riders on a journey to a unique and unchartered dimension of extreme only Six Flags Magic Mountain can deliver.”

Unlike traditional coasters where trains only parallel the track, X sends riders screaming around its 3,600-foot maze of steel track aboard massive wing-shaped trains, with seats extending from the sides of the vehicle off the track, where they independently rotate guests head over heels, forward and backward creating a one-of-a-kind “don’t-know-what-to-expect-next” sensation. X? will unleash the extreme thrills of X into a new dimension with the addition of a unique new tunnel and light experience that changes with every ride when it launches in spring 2008. While initial reaction to X may have been near disbelief just wait for what is next…

In the meantime, before you meet (or become) the next “ex,” visiting Magic Mountain can be a simple way to find out if your relationship is bound for disaster. And if meeting the X wasn’t enough, Magic Mountain also sports its newest coaster, “Tatsu” (Japanese for “disaster”). Like X, Tatsu suspends the rider from the car and track. (Think Raging Stallions sling scene.) Tatsuis the world’s tallest, fastest, and longest flying coaster, with four inversions, a 263-foot elevation change, and a ride time of three minutes and 30 seconds.

Price: Regular one-day admission to Magic Mountain is $59.99 for adults, but be sure to check for coupons and rates for Southern California residents.

Tip: At about two hours from San Diego, Valencia, Calif., is a nice overnight getaway for a new couple that is also reasonably priced. It’s always great to take a short trip to see if you are compatible travel partners. How long does he take to get ready in the morning? Does she snore? How does he handle your driving in the stress of rush hour traffic? Or does he commit the ultimate sin – singing in the car? Well, no fear, because Valencia is close to the Los Angeles nightlife, so if you need a respite from each other there are plenty of options – along with karaoke bars!

And remember: During your visit to a theme park don’t let your beau/lass give you that “I’m into water sports” line if they pee their pants, unless they’re willing to prove it later!

Which brings us to meeting the family. If you’re not already doing it over turkey dinner this weekend, at some point, you’re going to have to meet the in-laws. So why not expose your partner to what it’s going to be like to be circled and sized up as prey.

Plan a weekend getaway to San Francisco, where, just north of the bay, is a quaint little town appropriately named Tiburon, which means “shark” in Spanish.

The real sharks, though, are 27 miles out to sea, in the Gulf of the Farrallones Marine Sanctuary.

Incredible Adventures “Great White Shark Adventure” embarks on the “Tamalpais,” a former ferry, on the two-and-a-half hour ride out to the Farallon Islands, which are said to be home to some of the world’s largest great white sharks.

Described as the “winter playground” of adult great white sharks measuring 15- to 20-feet long, the Farrollon Islands offer a biodiversity unparalleled on our nation’s Pacific Shore, according to Peter Winch. Winch is part of the Incredible Adventures staff, which includes a captain and full crew of several dive experts, videographer and cruise director.

“Because the Farallones are essentially the only islands between the Channel Islands in the South and Vancouver Island up North, and because they sit just above a plate divide, allowing for cold water and plenty of plankton to rise up, the sharks come to the Farrallons to dine on the local population of Northern Elephant Seals,” which dine on fish that eat the plankton, Winch said, noting Great Whites have a reputation as “killing machines” in the circle of life.

“They are responsible for 87 percent of attacks against humans in the Pacific Ocean. But they are also threatened and play a very important part in the eco-system. Many of them are disappearing every year, especially for shark fin soup,” he said.

With only 10,000 Great White sharks left in the world, this extreme date opportunity, is unquestionably a once-in-a lifetime experience that should not be passed by.

As is the experience when the boat leaves Tiburon’s beautifully quaint bayside marina and cruises beneath the Golden Gate Bridge just as the sun is rising. Even the most well-traveled date will agree, the views of the city at sunrise are so spectacular, it’s impossible not to feel the magic.

The 12-hour boat ride is best handled by those who have loaded their system with Bonine to avoid seasickness. Of course, this is also a great way to see how nurturing your new beau / lass is. Does he or she walk away with that “he’s not with me” look, or hold your hair back as you puke over the side of the boat?

The sharks, of course, are not nurturing at all. The Incredible Adventures staff wants it that way. “We want to keep them as wild as possible,” Winch explained, warning that “chumming,” the practice of throwing frozen seal remains in the water to attract the sharks is not allowed.

Instead, the crew uses a decoy in the shape of a baby seal to lure the predators before lowering the shark dive cage attached to the vessel into the water.

Incredible Adventures says their shark cage – which accommodates six persons at a time, so you and your date can share the experience together – is the largest in the world.

The cage provides total protection for the divers, while at the same time allowing freedom of movement and panoramic views of the underwater sea-scape.

Wetsuits – which suddenly transform you and your other half into sexy “aquatic superheroes” (see photo) – are provided as well, and oxygen is provided to divers through hookah-style respirators, so no prior scuba diving experience is required. While the water temperature is approximately 50-56 degrees, depending how kinky you are, the staff recommends peeing in your suit to keep yourself warm. (This can be a definite indicator if you might want to explore other variations of water sports!)

Price: Cost for the day for cage diving is $875 and $375 for topside viewing. The staff is friendly and knowledgeable, and from the moment you board the ship to the moment you step off back, safely onto dry land, the food and beverages are non-stop – everything from the Continental breakfast in the morning to the lasagna, beer, wine, sandwiches and cookies in the afternoon is delicious.

Tip: There are a number of shops and restaurants for you and your date to enjoy while strolling the evening away when the boat arrives back in Tiburon. Only hundreds of feet from Angel Ferry’s Landing, where the Tamalpais docks, is Servino’s, which not only has exquisite Italian cuisine at great prices, but also allows some of the most breathtaking views of the San Francisco skyline, as it lights up at night.

So, you’ve finally agreed to settle down, and you’ve even had the big “M” discussion: monogamy. But before you get the monogamy shakes, knowing that your days of cruising Black’s Beach are over, no one ever said you can’t look. So, while your partner has asked you to kindly hang up publicly sporting your birthday suit, all is not lost.

Take your partner hang gliding at Torrey Pines, and spend 30-40 minutes sailing peacefully through the air, enjoying the Black’s Beach scenery. Of course, you might want to make note of more than just the boys in the bushes, since if you agreed to monogamy, your partner may not want a blow-by-blow, pardon the expression, of what you saw from the sky at Black’s Beach.

Tandem flying with a certified instructor is a very unique experience available right in our own backyard at Torrey Pines Gliderport. This world-class flying site, where soaring has been a primary activity since 1928, offers tandem flying in hang gliders and paragliders. During the late winter and early spring, tandem flying in sailplanes is also available.

According to the Gliderport staff, which is extremely friendly and very professional, people always ask, “Which is more exciting – paragliding or hang gliding?” And from first-hand experience, the truth is, both are breath-taking. Because most of the soaring takes place during the early afternoons, this date offers beautiful sunsets, perfect for sailing on the wings of love.

Note however, that sharing with your partner your flashbacks of “the good old days” at Black’s Beach is done at your own risk. And popping an erection while scoping out your old stomping ground during tandem hang gliding may or may not be appreciated. Still, it is best to cover that up front with your tandem guide. Consider it part of the safety briefing.

Price: Lesson includes USHGA 30-day membership, 5-10 minutes of ground and safety school instruction, and 20-30 minutes of flight over the beautiful coastal cliffs of Torrey Pines and Blacks Beach. The price is for a paragliding tandem is $150 and a hang gliding tandem is $175.

Tip: When mounting instruments – no really – always use a backup line to secure the device to your person or harness. Also, dropping items from a paraglider in flight is illegal. So even if you see your ex down at Blacks beach and you’re tempted to throw things at him/her, leave it for another day and be thankful that you have a different kind of “thrill seeker” to enjoy the season with.

No matter what your plans for the holidays are, spending time with loved ones is a central part of the season. And while there are plenty of quality movie releases (after all, its Oscar-seeking studios primary release time), why not break out of the mold? You could shake things up for your date as well as yourself. You just might find that your new paramour passes the extreme test, and add some adrenaline and trust to your relationship in the process!

While some relationships come somewhat pre-established with who’s in the driver’s seat, there’s always that moment when passengers want to take the wheel – you know, when you’re feeling versatile.

You can take the fast track to doing just that at Signature Days’ California Motor Speedway in Fontana, Calif.

The NASCAR driving experience – which Signature Days bills as one of its top experiences – allows you to put your hands on the wheel, your foot on the gas, and find out what it’s like to be in the driver’s seat for multiple laps around an official NASCAR track.

Your experience starts as you suit up and are briefed with some safety points. Once strapped in the passenger seat, your professional driver drops the hammer, taking you to the limit around a NASCAR speedway just like the pros. After a couple of laps in the passenger’s seat, you are ready to take the wheel for a real-life, white knuckled, adrenaline-filled stock car driving experience.

Much like some relationships, the Signature Days Web site says, “You can’t imagine that first turn without actually being there.”

The Signature Days Web site is a great place to find gift ideas for upcoming adventures, extreme dates and unique gifts.

Price: Ride-along packages are usually about an hour, including briefing and preparation and cost $120 per person.

Tips: Unlike many of the other date activities, this is a solo activity. But don’t count it out for that. Often we learn a lot about others by taking a step back and watching how they handle the stress of being in the fast lane, while being pushed to the limits. And of course, like on all of these extreme date adventures, a release and waiver completion is required.

Signature Days

www.signaturedays.com

13531 Otay Lakes Road

Jamul, Calif. 91935

619–216–8416

www.skydivesandiego.com

800-644-7382

www.incredible-adventures.com

26101 Magic Mountain Parkway

Valencia, Calif. 91355

661-255-4100

www.sixflags.com/magicmountain

2800 Torrey Pines Scenic Drive

La Jolla, Calif. 92037

858-452-9858

www.flytorrey.com