Not long ago, a colleague of mine mentioned to me that she has a personal training client whose daily outlook was based on whether her inner thighs rubbed together when she walked. Silly, I thought at first, but then realized that this woman represents a large number of people whose emotional state directly correlates to their perceived physical appearance. While body image issues have largely been associated with heterosexual women, researchers are finding that this isn’t the only group to suffer from low self esteem. In fact, the group that surpasses all others in the quest to attain the perfect body is gay men. While working to achieve your best body is not necessarily a bad thing, the danger arises when unrealistic expectations lead to low self esteem, eating disorders, illegal drug abuse and other self destructive behaviors.

While women often see themselves as larger than they actually are, and seek out methods to reduce size and weight, many men take this view to the next level, desiring to be both thin and muscular at the same time – a feat not so easily accomplished without taking drastic measures. According to a recent study of 516 New York City residents, 15 percent of gay male respondents admitted to suffering some form of eating disorder, including bulimia, anorexia and binge eating. Following gay males were heterosexual and lesbian women at around 10 percent, and heterosexual men rounded out the group with only 5 percent having suffered an eating disorder. The scientists involved in the Columbia University study could not clearly define the gay male pathology resulting in these alarming statistics, but posited that this particular community tends to place more emphasis on physical appearance than any other group.

Many surveys and studies have determined that heterosexual men use illegal performance enhancement drugs to improve competitive abilities on the field. It appears, however, that gay men tend to use the drugs solely to bulk up for perceived improved appearance. Originally used within the gay community as a method to battle weight loss in AIDS patients in the 1980s, steroids have experienced monumental increases in recreational usage of late due to increased emphasis on physical beauty. Some experts estimate that one in seven gay male gym-goers uses steroids, while others claim that number is much higher. These experts believe that users see steroids as a fast-track toward “body beautiful” and societal acceptance and disregard the potential hazards of regular use (heart disease, and liver, kidney and prostate cancer to name a few). While many are well aware that regular use can result in shrunken testicles and acne, the major concern involves psychological damage. Steroids are a depressant, causing some users to develop dramatic mood swings that can lead to irrational behavior and even suicide.

Even though hitting the gym on a regular basis can have beneficial outcomes for the fitness enthusiast, many people take exercise too far in hopes of achieving a perfect body. It seems only logical to think that the harder you work, the greater the reward. But when it comes to the body, this is not the case. From a physiological standpoint, the body requires adequate rest after a challenging workout in order to repair damaged muscle tissue and replace lost nutrients. Without rest, the body is in a sense wounded and can become injured – sometimes permanently – which can sideline the exerciser’s goals. Some fitness experts with significant understanding of the gay community liken overtraining to a form of purging. Excessive exercise is far more acceptable for men, so instead of regurgitating fat-inducing calories from the body, gay men are more likely to work out.

Thanks to Abercrombie and Fitch, Men’s Health magazine and other organizations at the forefront of emphasizing the lean, hyper-masculine physique, male body image issues have skyrocketed. What makes things more difficult is that the body image spotlight has shone most brightly on women, causing men to hide their woes due to feelings of diminished masculinity and mental weakness. According to psychologist Dr. Don McCreary, “Because men are socialized not to discuss their body image concerns, their silent anguish may lead to feelings of isolation, distress, depression, and anxiety.” McCreary believes that these feelings, in concert with the already present societal isolation felt by many gay men, can take an even more drastic toll on self esteem with these men engaging in risky behaviors such as illegal drug use and eating disorders.

Another theory behind the gay male desire to achieve this perfect body is acceptance and the dissociation with being persecuted for their sexual orientation. While there are a great many gay men who have accepted their sexual orientation, the drive to develop a masculine physique has reached an all-time high in those who possibly suffer from some sort of internalized homophobia. As a gay man, I know full well the negative stereotypes and feelings of oppression, and the desire to prove to the world that I am just as worthy as anyone else. Experts believe that this mindset can lead to a man’s desire to find ways to “fit in” or be well liked by his peers, and one way he can control this is by developing the ideal male physique. With the preoccupation of attaining the perfect body comes a preoccupation with finding a partner who has one. In fact, a recent survey of gay men found that many respondents preferred a hot body over intellect or personality. They then impose these notions upon themselves and believe that the only way to attract a mate is through his body.

The desire to look our best is engrained in American culture. You can’t walk through a supermarket, watch television or search the Internet without being bombarded by notions of idyllic beauty. But after time, those notions dig deep into the psyche and begin to take a negative toll on perceived worth. The truth is that beauty does not define the person, and it is not responsible for your happiness. Your self worth should not be defined by the size of your biceps or whether your inner thighs rub together when you walk. You come with your own unique set of genetics that makes you unlike anyone else and gives you the opportunity to make the most of what you’ve got. Yes, that means that you’ll never look like that magazine cover model, but it is what sets you apart from the crowd. My challenge for you in 2008 is to redefine your vision of beauty and what it means to be happy. Limit your exposure to unrealistic ideals. Place your focus on health and improved physical function. Treat your body and mind well. Tell yourself every day that you are truly beautiful. While feelings of self worth might not improve overnight, regular practice has been shown to override any habit. As a mentor of mine once said, “Sometimes you just have to fake it until you feel it.” Here’s to a healthy and happy new year!!