Behind closed doors, some enjoy a vanilla sex life – while others embrace a full 24/7 fetish lifestyle.

The Gay & Lesbian Times caught up with International Master Larry and International slave barb, who will be judging and presenting at the Mr. and Ms. San Diego Leather contests during San Diego Leather Pride Week, March 6-16 (see calendar of events, next page).

The gracious Master/slave (MS) couple took time to chat with us about their relationship, the ins and outs of a full-time MS lifestyle, and how MS has changed their outlook on life. (Note: the lowercase “b” in barb’s name is part of the MS lifestyle. Read on to find out more.)

Gay & Lesbian Times: Can you share with us how you decided to embrace a 24/7 MS relationship?

Master Larry: [slave barb] and I have been together for 25 years.

sb: We’ve both always been kinda’ kinky. I’ve always had an interest in MS but had never expressed it. In 2003 I got really sick [with ITP, which is caused by low platelet counts], and when we decided I wasn’t going to die, I put together a packet of info and gave it to my [now] Master and he said, “Hey, I want to do this.”

GLT: Larry, were you surprised to learn this was something barb had an interest in?

ML: She pretty much just handed me about 100 pounds of stuff and was like, “Here’s some stuff to read, goodbye!” Because of what she was going through at the time I thought it had something to do with her illness, but it had nothing to do with her illness whatsoever. The concept was amazing to me. [slave barb and I] had dabbled in the kinky side of life, but never really did anything like this. When I began reading through it I became both mentally and physically hard. We began discussing it and reading things together. We wanted to have a good time with it and see what path we could take.

GLT: Tell us about day one.

ML: It was fun (laughs)! The way we changed the relationship over from vanilla with a swirl, to a MS relationship was in increments. Day one was more of a full weekend. When we came home from work at 7 p.m. on Friday I put a collar on her, gave her two or three service oriented tasks to do, and it was a matter of testing waters to see how it felt from both of our sides. We had all these years of a good relationship before this that we didn’t want to break that bond, and if it worked then we’d see how it could progress into a full-on 24/7 MS relationship.

sb: It was so exciting I think I was aroused for the whole weekend.

ML: Ditto!

sb: It was almost like a dream come true to finally be able to submit to someone who I had wanted to submit to for years, but never had the guts to say anything. Even something as simple as making dinner has a different meaning because now having him say, “I want you to make dinner,” puts the experience into a different mindset.

GLT: Will you explain why slave barb uses a lowercase “b” in her first name, and why she uses a lowercase “i” in her blog?

ML: The reason that is, is because it’s my personal belief in my household, when an individual is willing to submit to you, it’s not an easy task. So having barb use the lower-case “b” or “i” helps serve as a little reminder throughout the day. It’s a reminder of who she is and what she is in the household. It’s about embracing who you are and being willing to show it. It’s helped us maintain that 24/7 lifestyle.

GLT: You mentioned earlier that up until this point your relationship had been vanilla with a swirl. Can you tell us what that means?

sb: It was little things here and there – like maybe I’d do something wrong and would get a really bad spanking. We’d wind up having great, hot sex and then we’d back off. I found myself thinking, “Wait, I’m a feminist, I can’t do this.”

ML: And I was raised to not hit women, and I was thinking, “Wait, I can’t do this.” We’d back off for six months and then start the cycle all over again. This went on for years.

GLT: Did you ever think back then that your relationship might ever evolve into something a little kinkier?

ML: It’s hard to accept and discover who you are inside. [slave barb] and I have been together for awhile too. We pre-date the internet, so at times in our relationship we couldn’t exactly go online and get information immediately.

GLT: So what was the allure of a MS relationship?

sb: Actually, probably the thing that most intrigued me was my having read a lot of master/slave fantasy novels – it just kind of flicked on a switch in my mind and the idea seemed really cool. I started thinking that my [now] Master and I could do this 24 hours a day.

GLT: So how did your relationship evolve into something so fetishist erotic?

ML: Looking back, we had a damn good sex life – we had our vanilla with a swirl but you never really know what’s around the next corner. I didn’t know much about MS and never imagined what it could be or how it could enhance you in every possible way.

GLT: What do you mean by “enhance you in every possible way”?

ML: For me, and again this is only what has been my experience, I had always been, by nature, a relatively high strung, impatient, non-spiritual individual. And having the type of focus and concentration which is required in BDSM, and specifically S, brought great focus to me. [MS] is so cerebral you have to really work about being caring – watching what you’re saying. You’re taking care of another individual. This gave me a really calming effect and opened new doors and ideas in my head, and allowed me to find a spiritual person inside me, which is still evolving into a better person.

sb: In the past I tended to be an extreme procrastinator and really shy – I could prefer to be in the background and not be seen or heard. But one of the things my Master expects of me, now that he’s my Master, is to be the best person I can be for both him and myself. Every morning when I wake I tell myself, “Everything I do today I do in service for him.” Saying that for myself really helps me focus on the things I have to do in my job. In the past couple years I’ve made such incredible headway in my job, have gotten promotions … whereas in the past I’d been a wallflower.

GLT: Tell me about what life is like on your average Monday morning.

sb: Well, Master gets up before me because he has to be at work very early. I sleep on a futon next to his bed, on the floor. He’ll get up. Sometimes I sleep in restraints [German handcuffs] – it depends on how he feels when he goes to bed. If I’m in restraints, he’ll un-restrain me and then say something to me to start our day.

ML: Such as, “Thank you for another day of service and obedience.”

sb: (laughs) I like that he gives me the benefit of the doubt that I’m going to be good. And then I’ll respond, “Thank you for being my Master, Master.”

ML: We try to get the day off in a very lifestyle way.

GLT: Why does Barb sleep on a futon?

ML: There’s a power dynamic behind the relationship – it shows the place of where she is as a servant in the household. Our home isn’t big enough where we have slave quarters, so Barb sleeping on a futon on the floor is an opportunity to look up at the Master.

sb: It’s actually something I asked for. We had been together such a long time that I really wanted to separate the married dynamic.

GLT: I’d like to go back to the handcuffs. If she’s handcuffed to the bed, what happens if she needs to get up during the night?

ML: She’s handcuffed in general, not handcuffed to the bed. It’s a scene that’s hot and fun. I don’t believe in handcuffing slaves or individuals to the bed post – it’s a safety hazard. I do believe in the safety factor of BDSM and MS as well. Sleeping in the restraints, even though she’s not shackled, there’s meaning behind that and it goes a long way.

GLT: Barb, earlier you mentioned getting the benefit of the doubt that you’re going to be good. What happens when you’re not good?

sb: I get a stern talking to. We have discovered along the way that I really don’t respond well to corporal punishment – I had a not so hot childhood and if I get physically punished there’s virtually no way I would respond in a positive manner. Sometimes I have to write an essay on why my behavior wasn’t good. I think in a lot of ways that’s worse than corporal punishment (laughs).

GLT: Larry, what does “not being good” mean to you?

ML: She’s not really bad too often. Usually it’s something like ignoring orders or protocols, or something barb coined “willful disobedience” – knowing she’s doing something she shouldn’t be doing. It’s not just about what was done, but why it was done.

GLT: OK, so you’ve walked us through your Monday morning routine. Tell us about what happens when you arrive home at the end of the day.

sb: Again, sir gets home before I do. And when I come home I greet him. I’ll come in the house and kneel and say, “Thank you for being my Mater, Master.”

ML: And I’ll say something to the effect of, “I love being your Master,” or, “I love having you as my slave.” Then we pretty much start out the night by getting dinner going. In the evening, Barb has a list of chores that need to get done and if all goes smooth she’s with me in the living room giving me good company by 9 p.m., allowing us to be together and enjoy our life together.

GLT: Often, when people think about MS, it conjures up images of tiny leather costumes. Is there a uniform that Barb has to wear around the house?

ML: Our house does get a little drafty – and winter is not conducive to slaves wandering around the house naked. But there are levels of dress that are expected. slave barb wears a collar around her neck and one around each wrist, but they’re disguised as jewelry. If they need to come off, for example, if we need to go through airport security, she kneels before me and I take them off. They’re not locked on but they’re affixed with Allen wrenches. I carry the wrench.

sb: He doesn’t pick out my clothes, per se. He has terrible taste in women’s clothing (laughs). I am not allowed to wear pants unless I request to wear them – and at this point I don’t even own pants except to go to the gym in, and I pretty much only wear them to the gym, not around the house. In terms of household uniforms, he has a real fetish for camo pants. I now own several camo skirts that I’ll wear along with tank tops that have the household shield on them.

GLT: You have a household shield?

sb: It was something I came up with probably a year after we switched over the relationship. In the upper right corner is a leather pride flag, in the upper left corner are the letters HSL, which stand for household of Sir Larry, or honor, service, love. In the lower right corner is a girl pride flag, and in the lower left corner is a pair of handcuffs, which symbolize the commitment we have to each other.

GLT:The two of you have held a number of titles. Do you compete to educate others about the lifestyle, or, Larry, do you compete to more show off your hot slave?

ML: For our titles, there was something that was hot about it. It was good and fun. We didn’t wake up one day and decide to run for titles. Friends would tell us that we have a really good story, and we are a good example and should run for a title. You never really think to yourself “I should run for a title – I’m an example to the world” (laughs). Being a titleholder and competing is a big, big part of our leather heritage, and it’s really essential for people to be out there and to be a part of that process. They’re making leather history by participating in the culture. We didn’t necessarily expect to win, but we did, so be it, and it was a great experience.

GLT: Do you have anything to say in closing?

sb: I guess just that if you do discover that there’s something that’s a passion burning inside you, to take the chance and educate yourself about your passions. Life is short – live it the way you want to live it.

For more information on Master Larry and slave barb, visit their Web site at www.internationalmasterandslave2007.com.