Dear Editor,

I read with interest “New SD police chief should end double standard” by Robert DeKoven (GLT issue 822, Sept. 18, 2003).

I absolutely agree that there should not be double standards in regards to lewd conduct laws. I also agree that hand holding etc. is not lewd conduct no matter who does it. I dislike the attitude that male-female couples can hold hands, kiss, or walk arm in arm without notice, yet same-sex couples may draw stares, comments, or worse. It’s an unfair attitude that may or may not change. Positive images of gay people in the print and television media may help in that regard, but in the end you can’t change everyone’s mind. Nor perhaps should we. What really matters is not so much other people’s prejudices, to which they’re entitled, but rather protection of everyone’s life, liberty and pursuit of happiness equally under the law.

I think that anyone — regardless of gender — should be entitled to show public affection. However, there is a big difference between holding hands, walking arm in arm, a butt caress or even making out in a car, and having sex in public places. I don’t think it’s discriminatory or even prejudiced to deter people from having sex in public bathrooms and parks.

It’s no one’s business what goes on in bedrooms, cars, bathhouses, or motels, but it becomes other people’s business when it’s a public area. I have absolutely nothing against either gay sex or gay couples showing public affection, but I’d have a big problem with my stepchild walking into a public bathroom and seeing two people — of whatever gender — having sex.

I have heard the argument from gay men that “they” (meaning heterosexual families) should stay off our turf if they don’t want to see us in our cruising spots. My answer is: how, pray tell, should they know that it’s “your turf?” IT’S A PUBLIC PARK, NOT A GAY BAR!!

No, “cruising while gay” should not be illegal. Everyone has the right to flirt, date, chase, and have consenting adult sex. But when it goes from the flirting stage to the fucking stage I don’t think it’s too much to ask for people — gay or not — to take it private. And frankly, heterosexuals and lesbians seem to understand this a lot better than gay men, so it’s not surprising that gay men are more likely to be prosecuted for lewd conduct. If said “lewd conduct” means an ass-slap, I say it’s wrong. If it means oral and/or genital sex in a bathroom, I’d say it’s an appropriate term and is worth appropriate action. That action being a citation, however, not a beating by a cop.

It’s a shame that in our collective zeal for our well-deserved equal rights GLB’s often pick battles that make us look like idiots to the greater community of fellow citizens.

John Ross

San Diego

Dear Editor,

I fail to see why DeKoven’s call for our new police chief to eliminate the double standard in lewd conduct arrests drew such skepticism from you and your straight friends. First of all, as a trial attorney experienced in these matters, let me share some inside information. After reviewing all lewd conduct cases over a five year period, I found the number of cases of gay men arrested for engaging in intimate sexual contact in public equaled the number of heterosexual couples arrested for public sex. Secondly, although I found no difference in the type of conduct that would generate a lewd conduct arrest, I did find a difference in how the two groups were treated. In the cases where hets were arrested, no decoys were used to generate those arrests. However, half of the cases involving gay men were the result of decoy arrests. Thirdly, in the cases involving undercover sting operations where gay men were arrested, half involved arrests by a decoy officer who was either patrolling or conducting a “security check” of an area known to be frequented by gay men. DeKoven has raised an interesting challenge to our new top cop in San Diego. From my view, the question posed is long past due.

If I can be of further assistance to you in investigating these matters, please feel free to call me personally.

Oliver P. Cleary

Attorney at Law

Dear Editor,

Thank you for the article about getting out of the bushes two weeks ago. It was very refreshing to hear a voice of common sense on this issue. The gay community has a bad image problem and I believe we are shooting ourselves in our own feet by attempting to rationalize this type of behavior and other types of lewd behavior as well. There are many important issues we are going after. We will never be taken seriously until we grow up and stop acting like X-rated circus clowns.

Bill Lullo

Mission Hills

Dear Editor,

Perhaps so many of our “average” citizens skip both the parade and party is because neither event truly reflects and represents the general populace of the gay community. This used to be about gay pride until the epidemic turned it into lesbian and gay pride. What kind of acronym can one create with the letters “L” and “G” in that order anyway?

Then came the embarrassment of bi- and transgender. C’mon. You’re either gay or lesbian, or you’re straight. The fence-sitters can’t have it both ways, nor can they duck back across the line when things get hot and it’s safer not to be gay or lesbian. Ditto for the trannys.

It amazes me that year after year the pride parades feature choirs and singing organizations that don’t sing! That only a handful of the bars and clubs have floats. And that only a fraction of the the community as a whole — where the heck are all of our black, Latino, Asian and Native American brothers and sisters?! — participates in the parade.

Instead of under-appreciated and under-supported groups feeling they have to produce Ebony and Latin pride events and dyke marches, how about making the entire process to participate more inclusive?! For goodness sake, no wonder the bi’s (sic) and trannys are so desperately being included. The minorities within the gay and lesbian minority aren’t being included or courted!

And as for the so-called festival — what a load of horsecrap! Outrageous gate fees to purchase food and trinkets from non-gay vendors and merchants. Why aren’t the local gay and gay-friendly restaurants being encouraged to set up booths? Who the hell monitors this travesty?!

There really ought to be a truly gay and lesbian organization and committee in charge of the annual pride parade and festival that will spend the next nine months leading up the events reaching out to the community — including North County and Tijuana — to make the festivities something to really be proud of.

Lee A. Schoenbart

La Jolla