More than just an X and Y chromosome separate men and women. From childhood, boys and girls are conditioned to see the world in blue and pink spheres, and, as adults the chasm between the sexes is measured in salary differences and traditional gender roles.

The battle between the sexes translates to the gay and lesbian community, despite the common goal of achieving equal rights – and nowhere is it more evident than the adult playgrounds: bars and nightclubs.

Until several years ago, lines were more clearly drawn: Men could be found at Rich’s, Numbers or Montage, and girls played at 6 Degrees or The Flame.

Over time, though, bars have come and gone, and spaces once marketed to the lesbian community have become few and far between. 6 Degrees was sold to the owners of The Casbah, who opened the Starlight Lounge, a hipster’s paradise. The Flame, owned by Carla Coshow until 2004, was sold, and began marketing itself to men and women, leaving the lesbian community without a bar to call home.

What some call an anti-lesbian sentiment in the bar/nightclub scene has been decried by business owners, men and women alike, though some promoters have found it difficult to find venues for events geared toward women.

The recent last-minute cancellation of a Pride event for women at The Flame has reignited the conversation.

“I don’t, in fact [see the anti-lesbian sentiment],” said Sarah Critchlow, owner of North Park’s Redwing Bar & Grill, and former co-owner of 6 Degrees. “I think it’s quite the opposite, and let me start that I came out in my early 20s, which was quite some time ago. I’ve seen the full gamut over 20 something years. In the ’80s and ’90s it was all very separate.

“Back then the women went to the women’s bars, period. If you went to the men’s bars you wouldn’t be served. And if you were served, you were under-poured and overcharged. I will literally tell you that there were bar owners who would instruct their bartenders to under serve, under-pour, and short change on every front until the girls stopped coming.

“I think they liked their men’s bars the way they were, because they were much more sexually charged and they wanted to keep that male sexual energy. I think they just wanted their space and were radical about it. I certainly don’t see that now.”

More than two months ago, a trio of business owners, including Joe Martinez and Jeff Graves, bought The Flame and made changes in the weekly format, and extended business hours.

A Saturday night Pride event, hosted by 607 Productions and the Lavender Lens Magazine, was nixed by the new owners, who say there was no contract for the event, and that the decision to go in a different direction was for business reasons.

“We never had a contract [with 607 Productions or the Lavender Lens], and they were under the impression that because [throwing a Saturday night Pride party] is what they had done in the past, that it was still a go,” Martinez said. “We asked them to submit a proposal, which we reviewed, but we had other things that made better business sense for us. We have to pay the mortgage. It was a business decision as far as what The Flame can potentially do, not because we didn’t want to have a lesbian event.”

Graves added: “We have other stuff that’s planned and at this point we’re planning other events with women included. During Pride weekend we’re going to be open to the public and open to the community as a whole. We’re expecting a mixed crowd. [Beyond that], we want everyone to know they’re welcome here. Bear night is big, so you’re going to see a lot more of that here. We have the leather community coming in. We want all of the community to feel welcome here – we’re open to everybody.

Meaghan Yaple, owner of 607 Productions and popular promoter of women’s events in the GLBT community, said the new owners of The Flame failed to properly communicate with her, leaving her without a venue at the final hour.

“It was my understanding that when the new owners took over that they were going to honor a contract which would allow Lavender Lens Magazine and 607 Productions to continue to throw a Saturday night Pride event for the women,” Yaple said. “Unfortunately, this was a verbal contract and after several unreturned phone calls and e-mails, I was completely disregarded. When I finally was able to get a hold of them and schedule a meeting, they asked I bring a proposal. Last year we gave the owners a $6,000 rental fee and then they profited over $12,000 in bar sales. Not only did they [new owners] arrive for the meeting 30 minutes late, but they continued to ignore my phone calls. The following day, after three more phone calls and a text message they finally got back to me and said they had decided to take another offer. At that point I asked them if they were going to stick with a women’s event and they said no.”

With the help of local bar owners Michael Mack and Richard Britton, Yaple secured a venue at the last minute to ensure that the party will go on.

Critchlow says women who assume the new owners made the decision to pass on hosting a Pride event for lesbians based on a gender war are jumping to conclusions.

“When [Carla Coshow sold The Flame] and 6 Degrees closed, Bourbon Street accepted the women with open arms,” Critchlow said. “Numbers began having a women’s night on Fridays, then Bacchus House started one. That was something I’d never seen before. If women in the community feel as if they’re not welcome, I find that a little odd because if anything I see the men being much more welcoming … As far as the new owners of The Flame deciding to not have the Pride event for the women – they are new business owners trying to maximize every day of the week and trying to format their business in a way that will allow that. I would be surprised if they were thinking about it as anything other then a business decision. I think that when women’s nights change without them being ‘in the know’ that’s when they put together their conspiracy theories.”

In March 2007, when a female manager at Bourbon Street resigned abruptly, a heated exchange played out in Buzz Magazine, with women vowing to patronize other bars, and one male San Diego resident referring to lesbians as a “bunch of shrieking cheerleaders” whose presence “sucks the sexual energy right out of a bar.”

Bourbon Street maintained that, despite changes in management and staff, the bar would continue to host girls’ nights, and promote lesbian singer/songwriters and women’s events.

The lack of a space entirely marketed toward women had boiled over into an all-out battle of the sexes.

“When The Flame first opened, I think part of the reason it was so successful was because the women needed their own space,” said Coshow, who owned and operated The Flame until 2004.

“The women’s bars were a huge thing back then. You couldn’t be yourself anywhere else. Now young women will go anywhere and be themselves and not be afraid to be gay. Whereas before, everybody kind of played straight during the day couldn’t really be themselves until they were out at night in their own space. Now people go to coffee shops and restaurants, people play softball; there’s so many other things to do now.”

The reason lesbian bars have gone extinct may have less to do with their target audience and more to do with changing times and the evolution of nightlife, Coshow suggested.

“The night club is really over in a lot of ways and I think things are evolving,” she said. “I think in the future it’s going to progress a lot more in the types of ways you’ve seen Chris Shaw take with Urban Mo’s and Baja Betty’s. Or you’ll see a lot more places like Universal, which welcome everybody.”

Baja Betty’s bartender and former employee of The Flame Mo Girton agrees.

“Back when Carla still owned The Flame, it [the community] was still very segregated,” Girton said. “Girls didn’t feel comfortable at Pecs or Numbers and men didn’t really feel comfortable at The Flame. And although the closing of the women’s bars is sad, it’s kind of forced everyone to be on the same page and get along.

“We all want equal rights and we all want to be the same, but we’re the first ones to pass judgment on each other. And not having separate spaces anymore is forcing everyone to be in the same scene, to meet new people, and to realize, ‘Hey, this is actually OK.’”

Mat Ramon, manager of Urban Mo’s, added: “I see a lot more friendships now between girls and boys. I see a lot more girls hanging out with boys and boys hanging out with girls; you see girls come in and they intermingle with the boys and they don’t turn their backs. They all get together and do shots together. Stereotypes are being broken down, and everyone is starting to learn that the labels we’ve been putting on one another really aren’t true. We might be the first ones to pass judgment because that’s what we learned when we came out, but I’m not so much hearing that anymore, and when I do it’s with the older generation. To the younger generation, it just doesn’t matter. A lot of times they don’t want to be labeled as gay or lesbian or straight. They’re just people.”

The question: is it possible for all members of the community – including both sexes, all races, and people of all shapes and sizes – to mingle in one space, and check their drama at the door.

Universal certainly hopes so, and the multi-million dollar project is banking on appealing to a wide array of clientele.

“When we came up with the idea of an all-inclusive space, I wasn’t so much thinking gay and lesbian as I was more so thinking gay and lesbian on one side and straight on the other,” said James Brennan, CEO of EnDev Enterprises, LLC, which owns Universal and Downtown’s Stingaree. “And when you kind of add in those twists of individual cliques within the community, well, we didn’t even realize that was part of the scene.

“[From the day we chose the name Universal for the club] it grew a life of its own, and then it became kind of a social experiment and we embraced it. It’s 2008 and the times are changing as are the attitudes of a lot of Americans. Gay marriage is now legal in California and I saw things moving in that direction two years ago when we first started this project. To me, this is more of a ‘Hey, its 2008, get with it.’ I think everybody can get along and think people are able to come into a place and leave their pre-judging attitude at the door. In terms of gay boys hating on lesbian girls, or vice versa, we just wanted to open something for everyone, where everyone can get along, and that’s what we set out to do.”

“[Universal has] provided a really fun atmosphere; people leave their hang-ups at the door,” said Universal bartender Kyle Beck. “It’s a great place where everyone can have fun. Everything has been going really well and people are meshing well. I haven’t really seen the high school cliques, but the idea from day one was for us to cater to everybody – trans, gay, straight, black, white, and everything in between. We’re really proud of the way it’s turned out and the vibe we’ve created.”

“It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced,” Brennan said. “I don’t know what it is but you feel it when you’re in there. I’m not going to be quoted as saying there’s not a great vibe at Stingaree, but at Universal it’s different. It’s just different. When you walk in there there’s just this positive energy which translates into people having a great time. Everyone feels really comfortable and that creates an energy that kind of feeds off itself.”

Britton, who co-owns Numbers and Rich’s, also sees the advantages to mixed crowds at bars.

“[My business partner and I have always tried to make Rich’s and Numbers] enjoyable for everyone. And the advantage to creating a mixed environment is that a group of friends can all go out to the same bar or club and still manage to find something that everyone likes,” he said. “There were two lesbian bars in the city for a very long time, but they’re not around anymore. And what’s happening now is that everyone wants to hang out; the gay men want to hang out with their girl friends, and the girls are wanting to hang out with their guy friends and no one wants to be uncomfortable no matter where they go. As a businessman, I want everyone to come to my club and have a good time. That being said, I don’t see any reason to not incorporate things geared towards different groups on different nights, and host different events to change things up and keep them fresh.”

Numbers will continue to host weekly events catered specifically to a lesbian crowd.

“There will always be a need and a want for specific nights, like a Friday night girls’ night here or a Thursday night girls’ night at Rich’s,” Britton said. “I’ll even go to Rich’s on a Thursday to hang out a lot with a bunch of guys who like to go there and have fun because it’s not a sexually charged kind of thing – everyone just has a good time.”

The new owners of The Flame hope their club also appeals to both sexes.

“I think what’s going to make us successful is that we’re trying to open The Flame up to different venues, different people and a mix of everybody,” Martinez said.

Yaple, who has moved the Saturday night Pride event for women to The Abbey (2825 Fifth Ave.), has pulled the plug on Milk, a bi-weekly event at The Flame, and has taken over promoting the Friday night women’s night at Numbers. She plans to launch the revamped girls’ night, G-Spot, on Friday, July 4.

“I think the women will come out to support the venues that support them,” Yaple said. “All that making the lesbians feel unwelcome does is pushes them into other events and venues. It happened a year ago when things were a little heated at Bourbon Street and I expect the same thing to happen now.”

So, are mixed-crowd spaces the smartest venture for businessowners?

Critchlow thinks so.

“I think it really opens you up to meeting a lot of different people,” she said. “I think that’s they way any place should be really. I hate to feel unwelcome when I walk into certain places because I’m older and not in that young, hip, cool crowd, and don’t like feeling unwelcome in certain places because I’m a woman … But at the same time I hope someone steps up and opens a place for women to play in, and I really hope someone does that soon. I think there’ still a need for women to have their own space that’s more than just a night in a certain bar on a specific day of the week.”