I am not a sporty dyke, but I love the Olympics. Despite my inability to motivate myself to the gym a few times a week, I still get heated up watching the U.S. compete. The summer Olympics are especially exciting to me because I love watching gymnastics, swimming and my new favorite find: trampoline. (I didn’t even know it was an official sport!) And of course, where there are sports, there are lesbians! It’s almost impossible not to play the “Is she? Isn’t she?” game when watching the Olympics, with so many sweaty, muscular and, well, dyke-y women running around. So, in honor of this year’s fantastic festivities in Beijing, I thought I’d highlight a few of the out and proud lesbian athletes who participated.

Natasha Kai is a forward on the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team. At 25, she is known for her aggressive play on the field, and her laid-back, surfer attitude off the field. A native of Hawaii, Kai sports 19 tattoos on her athletic body, one of which is a full sleeve of Polynesian tribal designs. Kai is making headlines in the GLBT community, having recently outed herself in an NBC Olympics interview, in which she told the interviewer that she was having trouble getting over a difficult breakup with her ex-girlfriend when she first joined the National team. A favorite with lesbian soccer fans worldwide, Kai (or as her friends call her, “TK”) is definitely one to watch!

Of course, we all know that where there is a softball team, there are guaranteed to be women who love other women! Second base-woman Vicky Galindo, of the U.S. softball team, came out as bisexual in the Aug. 26 issue of The Advocate. The story goes that Galindo’s openness was so inspiring to teammate Lauren Lappin that she herself came out as a lesbian! Now that’s what I call teamwork!

What’s cuter than two softball dykes inspiring each other to come out? How about a lesbian couple, playing and competing together on the Norwegian handball team?! That is the true story of Gro Hammerseng, captain of Norway’s team, and her partner, Katja Nyberg. Both women are fierce competitors, and Nyberg was voted Most Valuable Player in the 2007 Women’s Handball Championship. But just a few moments spent perusing the many fan forums that have been created for the couple will show you that lesbians of the world mostly love to talk about how cute these two are!

Of course, there are many more lesbians (both out and in the closet) competing in the Olympics this year, but my column can only hold so many. For an expansive list with pictures, check out everyone’s favorite watchdogs of lesbians in the media, AfterEllen.com.

Speaking of Ellen DeGeneres … it’s time to congratulate America’s favorite funny lady and her WIFE, Portia de Rossi. The couple was legally married on Saturday, Aug. 16! According to celebrity rag, Us Weekly, the couple wore outfits designed by Zac Posen, and tied the knot in front of a mere 19 guests. I’m sure Ellen danced her freakin’ pants off at the reception!

In other exciting TV news, a 22-year-old transgender woman named Isis will compete on the new season of “America’s Next Top Model,” which returns to the CW on Sept. 3. As kooky as Tyra Banks can seem at times on that show, we’ve got to give it up to her for this groundbreaking effort. I know I’ll be in front of my TV set, shouting “Go Isis!”

In music news, lesbian favorite Melissa Etheridge is back in town on Aug. 30. She will be performing as part of the Viejas Casino Concerts in the Park series, at Viejas Casino (5005 Willows Road, Alpine). Tickets are available through Ticketmaster.

The Women’s Equality Day Parade will take place on Saturday, Aug. 23, beginning at 4 p.m. in Balboa Park. Parade participants should check in at the west end of Laurel Street Bridge, next to the Kate Sessions statue. Following the parade, a film on voting rights will be shown, with the event culminating in a “Roaring ‘20s” themed buffet dinner and dance in the Recital Hall at Balboa Park. Dinner tickets are $30. To purchase tickets or for more information call 619-233-7963 or visit whmec.org.

Author and feminist, Louise Bernikow, will present a lecture and slideshow, “The Shoulders We Stand On: Women as Agents of Change” on Sept. 6, at 2 p.m., at the Women’s History Museum. Bernikow survived the 1980s by writing for leading magazines, acquiring the dubious distinction of appearing simultaneously in MS. Magazine and Playboy. A lapsed academic with degrees from Barnard and Columbia, studies at Oxford and the University of Madrid, she was a founder of Women’s Studies programs, of the Columbia Seminar on Women and Society and the Women’s Biography group at the CUNY Graduate Center. Call the Women’s History Museum to reserve your space, at 619-233-7963.

If you loved The Vagina Monologues, Eve Ensler’s The Good Body is at San Diego Repertory Theatre, Sept. 6-28. Traveling through and beyond Botox, treadmills, closet surgeries and fat farms, Ensler exposes the naked truths from women who share their deepest secrets, obsessions and hard-won peace and celebration of themselves – a Puerto Rican street gal who is an expert on “the spread,” a black teenager playing hooky from a fat farm, a too-eager-to-please wealthy Jewish housewife, an African mystic, underground Afghani entrepreneurs in Kabul, and many more. This show is not to be missed! For tickets, call the box office at 619-544-1000.

Looking for other literary lesbians? L3: Ladies, Laughter, and Literature is a women’s book club that meets the first Wednesday of every month at The Center (3909 Centre St.). The group reads mostly fiction, but also enjoys getting together for related activities, such as dinner, movies, etc. The group will be going to see The Good Body at San Diego Repertory Theatre on Sept. 6. New participants are always welcome! Contact the Women’s Resource Center at The Center for more info, or join L3’s popular Yahoo! Group.

Thursday nights are still hot at Rich’s (1051 University Ave.) in Hillcrest. “Touch” goes off every Thursday, with DJ Kiki spinning hip-hop and techno, and the bartenders serving up $3 Miller Lites all night long.

Friday night Ladies Happy Hour @ Bourbon Street gets even better at the end of this month, with the addition of Lauren DeRose playing live on the patio every Friday night, 6:30-8:30 p.m. DeRose is one of San Diego’s most promising young artists, so make sure to check her out!

“G-Spot” is the new ladies’ night at Numbers (3811 Park Blvd.), replacing “Bad Kitties.” Dance to the pulsating hip-hop and house music, and enjoy performances from the Lipstik Inc. girls. Doors open at 8 p.m., so swing on over after you’ve watched LDR at Bourbon Street!

If you are looking for the ladies on Sunday afternoon, The Brass Rail is the place to be. Doors open at noon so girls can get their game on: beer pong, flip-cup, ping-pong, Guitar Hero … you name it, The Brass Rail has got it! With 50-cent beer specials, it’s the perfect afternoon destination!

That’s it for August, lesbians and friends! Enjoy the end of summer, and I’ll see you in September!