Cupid can suck on my big toe. Wait a second – I’m getting a little ahead of myself. First let me explain how I came to this conclusion about our little winged friend.

Recently, I was dating a cute, sweet and sensible guy. He was educated, had a good job, and a nice place with two cute dogs – basically the quintessential “good on paper” guy. The only issue I had with him was that he liked to text message.

Everything.

I’m not joking. He texted me good mornings and good nights. He texted to tell me when he was happy and when he was sad. He texted to ask me out to dinner and when he had to cancel.

He texted me here or there. He texted me anywhere. He texted me green eggs and ham. He texted me Sam-I-am.

Get the picture?

Text messaging as a main form of communication while you are dating someone is elementary, almost juvenile, and terribly unromantic. It’s like sending someone a love letter by fax.

What happened to the days when people simply picked up the phone to ask someone out to dinner, and especially to cancel? When did text messaging become a perfectly acceptable substitute for the standard forms of communication during courtship? Has technology killed true romance?

As one friend said, “I love how texting is slowly replacing all normal human interaction these days! Pretty soon moans in the bedroom will be texted to each other!”

Don’t get me wrong folks. Text messaging serves its purpose. It’s quick, efficient and gets your point across. Conversations can be kept brief and light. No need for small talk or idle conversations on the phone; perfect for the gay-on-the-go.

Furthermore, dating can be overwhelming. It’s complicated and stressful to have to weed through the sea of sluts, socially-inept nerds and game players in the search for Mr. Right. Arranging and going out on dates with all of the Joe Blows you meet can be mentally and physically taxing.

Andy Warhol once said “I had a lot of dates but I decided to stay home and dye my eyebrows.” So if your eyebrows need work and you have better things to see and people to do, why not skip the awkward silences, embarrassment and even rejection by sending an innocent text message or two to see how the other guy feels? No muss, no fuss.

And I’ll admit, I text message quite a bit. How much? Let’s just say it’s a good thing I’m on an unlimited plan. But I rein in the texting when I’m trying to seriously date someone. As much as texting can be simple, it can also be seen as impersonal, often misunderstood and plain lazy.

The tone, mood, and intention of texts (this goes for e-mails as well) can be lost en route to their final destination. A minor oversight can lead to negative responses or your number being permanently deleted.

And we all have a fear of rejection. It sucks to call up the dude you’re digging on only to hear, “Um … yeah. We can hang out. As friends though, right?” Ouch. But you have to admit, it’s refreshing, attractive and respectable to meet a guy who is not afraid to pick up the phone and willing to accept whatever curveballs Cupid throws at him.

P.S. For all those guys who believe texting or e-mail is the same as sending a written letter, it’s not. Period. If you think differently, you better get a clue. And fast.

Still don’t get it? Well here are a few pointers to steer you in the right direction when it comes to text messaging and dating:

It’s appropriate to send courtesy messages like “on my way” or “running late for dinner,” but it’s not okay to cancel a date via text. Ever.

It’s cute to send terms of endearment like “u r my sunshine” and “sweet dreams,” but save texts like “you ruin things” and “I hope you never wake up” for a real conversation or strongly-worded letter.

Sending flirtatious or dirty texts to your object of affection after a great date, make-out session, or night in the sack can be hot and a definite turn-on; however, avoid sending those messages to your object of affection when they just caught you on a great date, make-out session, or night in the sack with another dude.

Although not recommended, texting a guy you gave him crabs instead of calling with the information can allow you to dodge the bullet of the unpleasant screaming that would ensue. On the other hand, it’s generally bad form to text someone you gave them something that is not easily cleared up with some extra-strength pubicide.

In the same spirit as tip No. 2, benign or mass texts like “Happy Pi Day” (this is a real holiday) are permissible, but significant messages like “I slept with your boyfriend” or “I’m sorry your dog died” are not.

And as a general rule of thumb, stick to sending and receiving text messages to a minimum. Three to four back-and-forth, tops. If the conversation requires more responses, it’s time to use some of those rollover minutes you’ve accumulated and dial that number.

So what is the moral of the story, ladies and err … ladies? Text messaging definitely makes life a little easier and has a place in the dating world, but when it comes down to it, wouldn’t you rather hear it all straight from the homo’s mouth?

So I might have been a little harsh earlier. Cupid doesn’t have to suck it. It’s not his fault we’ve succumbed to the luxuries of the 21st century. But the next time he points and shoots, he better aim for someone without their hand glued to their cell phone’s keypad.