November is a month for being thankful, and a time to sip on steaming hot apple cider, overeat with friends and family, and reflect on positive blessings the year has brought.

The irony isn’t lost on me that Election Day falls during this month of thanks and warm-fuzzy feelings.

Nov. 4 was a mixed bag for the GLBT community. We felt elated at seeing Barack Obama elected our nation’s first black president and watched our nation, including many who had never voted before, come out in droves to polling places across the country.

Despite Obama’s victory, our community felt punched in the gut when Proposition 8 passed, banning same-sex marriage in California. Before Election Day, many of us hit the phone banks, talked with family and friends about the initiative and became politically active in a way we had never been before. As a community, we watched the pre-election polls come in and rode the rollercoaster, only to be kicked off the ride on Nov. 5, feeling dejected, deflated, misunderstood and undervalued. Now Thanksgiving nears and it seems difficult to be thankful.

Some of us may even have to share the holiday table with family members who voted in support of Proposition 8. The thought of saying, “Aunt Myrtle, thank you for considering me a second class citizen, now would you please pass the stuffing?” is almost unbearable.

So how do we celebrate and keep our sanity this Thanksgiving? First, acknowledge change is a slow process – Thanksgiving is a perfect example!

Most of us accept the tale of the first Thanksgiving as it was relayed in elementary school. The story that Native Americans and Pilgrims shared plates of corn on the cob at the dinner table is a farce. The true story of the “discovery” of America has more to do with the extermination and displacement of native peoples and a lot less to do with harmonious dinner parties and the peaceful blending of cultures. The fact we still celebrate the holiday as if it was all about the cross-cultural sharing of sweet potatoes with marshmallows shows how slow the process of changing hearts, minds and history can be.

Second, we must still count our blessings and be thankful for our Election Day victories. John McCain and Sarah Palin did not make it into office and we don’t have to worry (for now) about a federal ban on same-sex marriage.

And don’t forget about the farm animals! Thanks to Proposition 2, your Thanksgiving bird will most likely have the chance to exercise and spread it wings before ending up on your dinner plate (crude, I know – but it’s your right to opt for Tofurky this year, if you’d like).

With the battle against Proposition 8 our community is fired up and ready to continue the fight for equality, proving we do have a lot to be thankful for.

So this Thanksgiving, even if you’re sitting next to someone who voted for Proposition 8, take a moment to be thankful for your proud, queer self. You are on the right side of this issue, and you will have more change to be thankful for in the coming years. Now, pass the stuffing! If I don’t have to worry about fitting into a bridal gown right away, I may as well eat!

The San Diego LGBT Community Center will host Coffee & Conversation with Cool Women on Tuesday, Dec. 2, at 7 p.m. at The Center. Coffee & Conversation is an intimate talk show of sorts, where hostess Tryce Czycyznska interviews notable women from the San Diego women’s community. December’s “cool women” are Wendy Ochoa and Talonya Geary, creators of FlawLes magazine and Web site. There will be coffee, dessert, and a dynamic conversation about our community’s newest lesbian publication. This event is free and open to all! For more information, visit www.gaylesbiantimes.com/links/1091.

The Women’s Resource Center’s featured November/December program is Rethinking Gender: A Four-Part Series, with workshop facilitator Erin Burgoon. Lucky for you, if you missed the first two sessions, there are still two amazing workshops to experience! On Thursday, Dec. 4, at 7 p.m, Burgoon presents “Love, Sex, Desire and Gender.” The series concludes on Thursday, Dec. 11, at 7 p.m., with “Gender Oppression, Privilege and Strategies for Liberation.” There will be a closing party featuring a performance from the SD Kings Club. All workshops are free, open to all and take place at The Center in Hillcrest. For more information, visit www.gaylesbiantimes.com/links/1091.

Hot Flash Dances are coming to town with a dance designed just for you! Popular across the Pacific Northwest, Hot Flash Dances are monthly retro dances for lesbians who love to dance to a little doo-wop, fly to a little hip-hop and boogie to a whole lot of everything in between. San Diego Hot Flash is open to all women 21 and up, but caters to “seasoned” lesbians mid-30s and up with great classics from the ’60s, ’70s, ’80s as well as today’s best dance music. Hot Flash is more than a dance though; it’s a place for connecting, meeting, playing, finding friends, making alliances and providing a sense of community. Hot Flash dances will be held in San Diego on the first Saturday of each month, beginning Dec. 6, at The Flame from 5-9 p.m. Link to the Hot Flash ladies on the Web at www.gaylesbiantimes.com/links/1091.

It’s time to grab your favorite tie and get busy! In an effort to tie the lesbian community together and support Equality California, the FlawLes Tie Party will also be held at Botanica in Little Italy on Saturday, Dec. 6, from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. This fund-raising event requires all participants to sport their favorite tie, a symbol used to encourage unity and community. Tickets range from $10 to $15. This is a 21 and up event.

You are invited to “Come Home for the Holidays!” at GLBT San Diego’s annual holiday party on Sunday, Dec. 7, from 5-8 p.m. in The Center’s Auditorium. The Center, along with more than 30 community and faith based organizations, will come together to put on a fantastic holiday fete for our GLBT community. This community event will feature great food, a no-host bar, music and a candle lighting ceremony. Don’t miss this chance to celebrate the holidays with your “family.” This event is free to all, however, guests are asked to bring a new, unwrapped toy for the Imperial Court’s Annual Toy Drive.

Every Friday is ladies’ night at Bourbon Street for Ladies Happy Hour from 4-7 p.m. and a live performance by Lauren DeRose at 6:30 p.m. in the front bar. Enjoy a game or two of pool or darts (my favorite) while you’re there, and munch on the free popcorn, too! This is one of the best spots to meet other women in SD.

Looking for some afternoon fun? The T-Dance takes place at Numbers the third Sunday of every month from 3-6 p.m. Drinks specials about – you must be 21 to enter!

If you are looking for the ladies on Sunday afternoon, The Brass Rail is the place to be. Doors open at noon so girls can get their game on; beer pong, flip-cup, ping-pong, Guitar Hero … you name it, they’ve got it! With 50-cent beer specials, it’s the perfect afternoon destination!

Soulkiss Ladies’ Lounge takes place the first Friday of every month at Kadan in North Park. DJ Dopeshoes rocks the house with special guest DJs spinning the hottest hip-hop, neo-soul, dancehall and more. No cover and this is event is for those 21 and up.

That’s it for this month! Enjoy your turkey or Tofurky and I’ll see you in December!