Nov. 28 is Black Friday and all over America shoppers will storm their local leather emporium to search for mink-lined restraints or sterling silver collars. Those things do exist for the perfect boy or girl – but the rest of us will have to settle for something a little less pricey and just as much fun.

So, here’s a list of toys your No. 1 sub will love until he wears it out or it wears him out.

First on my list is the Nexus Vibro Male G-Spot Massager. I saw this one on a shopping trip to Mr. S Leather in San Francisco while searching for a leather blindfold to take to a party. Part of the excitement lies in the discovery that males have G-spots. This toy, which is ribbed, can vibrate, which makes you feel like you’re having the most romantic plowing of your life … all by yourself. The customized microchip controls three “prostate vibrational settings” so you’ll never be bored if Daddy leaves you alone for a while.

You may want to “freshen up” before using your Nexus Vibro Male G-Spot Massager. While on a trip to Dallas, Texas I found the perfect device to make you feel fresh as new Lexus car seats. At Leather Masters in Dallas there is the Shower Buddy. We’ve all used fresheners from Fleet to hot water bottles, but the Shower Buddy ramps up the experience. The hose and diverter are stainless steel and use American standard fittings. The good thing about the Shower Buddy is that it’s expandable. Yep, you can stretch it and pull it to wherever you need to go to be comfortable. Hey, if we’re gonna have to do this, then we may as well be comfortable, right? Next, we have to go across country to New York City home of Rubio Leather. Rubio is one of my favorite leather manufacturers. Rubio and his wife, Carmen inherited the business from his father a few years ago and since then, he’s tapped into a whole new market and new world his father never knew about – at least we don’t think he knew about. Rubio designs and stitches everything that comes from his store because he wants to be personally responsible for every item that bears his name. Last year I was given a leather vest that looked like a Levi vest, complete with gold thread trim and inside pocket. They come in dark blue or faded blue. The companion leather/Levi pants also have gold trimming and back pockets with the Rubio label where the “Levi” label might be. Next time you’re out with Daddy be sure to remind him the way you look and dress is a reflection of him. He’ll love that you did.

At IML last year I came across a company called Liberator. Of course I joined its e-mail list because I’m a masochist and love being tortured with never-ending spam e-mails. This morning I received notice that Liberator has a new product called the Equus. Since I would love to see Daniel Radcliffe in the Broadway play of the same name (*HUGE FUCKING HINT) I decided to take a look at the Equus to see if it would suffice as an alternative. I must admit to expecting something that looked more like a horse but the Equus is a padded sex bench. It comes in a bunch of colors with matching restraints. When biological daddy, mommy or the kids come to visit, the Equus becomes a coffee table, bedside rest, workout bench or any other number of things except a sex bench.

Now that we’re clean, have the massager, put on the leather and on the sex bench, it’s time for some visual stimulation. There’s an adult video director from Paris named Mack Manus and his work is some of the most impressive I’ve ever seen. European porn – at least leather porn – tends to be edgier, darker and all around hotter. Mack is one of the sexiest directors out there and directs and stars in all of his videos. It’s also hot that everyone in the videos speaks French when not moaning, groaning or screaming. Mack currently has 10 videos in his arsenal that include titles such as Abus De Pouvoir (Abuse of Power); Viols En Foret (Rape in the Woods); Uro Fist (Piss Fist … not sure of that translation, but that’s what Mack said and who am I to argue?); and my personal favorite CowboyX Stories(Cowboy X Stories), which is actually bisexual and believable.

For links to sites where you can find all these hot holiday gifts, visit www.gaylesbiantimes.com/links/1092. Some of this stuff – or toys like them – can be found in your local leather stores like Pleasures & Treasures or The Crypt. If they don’t have it, then buy something else and ask them to carry it next year.