The Catholic and Anglican churches are in a tight race to win a very Christian game: Smear the Queer. Both religions are going cobra on us and they justify their rabid persecution with a ubiquitous phrase they repeat like a liturgy: “Love the sinner, hate the sin.”

What an odd choice of word “hate” is. I mean, why not “Love the sinner, be worried about the sin?” Why not, “Love the sinner, heal the sin?”

It brings up a question many of us don’t understand: why do so many Christians love the word “hate”?

Why would the flock of a prophet who preached love and turning the other cheek resort to hate and turning the different away?

Yes, “Love the sinner, hate the sin” is a catchy phrase, yes it neatly cleaves the doer from the deed, but the word choice reveals more about the person throwing that blade than the person knifed by it.

Would Jesus really have recommended that we “hate” anything?

Fundamentalists like to tear apart Jesus’ words so much I think of them as editors. And anybody who’s had a sadistic editor knows there is no hell like it.

I can see the first edits to Jesus’ manuscript being bounced back to him by fundamentalist editors.

Fundamentalists: “J: Please clarify this love the sinner, forgive the sin business. Sounds like a license to manufacture bad behavior. How about, ‘Forgive the sin, stone the sinner’?”

Jesus: “I thought I covered the stoning issue with the nympho who couldn’t keep her ankles crossed. What part of ‘Let he who is without sin cast the first stone’ did you not understand?”

Fundamentalists: “Yes, of course. Forgive our misunderstanding, Lord. But it’s hard to control the population with forgiveness. They’ll just end up loving the wrong people. How about ‘Love the sinner; hate the sin’?”

Jesus: “I came to earth to preach love and kindness, not anger and hatred.”

Fundamentalists: “Point taken. However, our revenue dries up when we praise people. It goes through the roof when we preach against them.”

Jesus: “I thought I covered the money thing at the Temple.”

Fundamentalists: “God, you’re good. Of course you did. But our overhead is killing us. Please re-consider our first word choice, ‘hate.’ It has a certain blood-boiling quality, no?”

Jesus: “You can’t just pretend I said something just because it’s convenient for you. Don’t you guys have fact-checkers?”

Fundamentalists: “Yes, but Jesus, the word ‘hate’ appears in the Bible about 20 times.”

Jesus: “Then at least interpret the word in its original meaning.”

Fundamentalists: “Forgive us, Lord, we don’t understand…”

Jesus: “Jesus Christ! You’re the ones who believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible — so interpret the word literally. Half the time ‘hate’ is used to describe the reaction of unbelievers. Most of these uses appear in the Gospel according to John, the first Letter of John, and a few other places like Matthew 24:9, and Romans 1:30.

“Another 25 percent of the uses describe the spiritual sickness of a community turned against itself. For example, the first Letter of John 4:20 states: ‘If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ yet hates his brother, he is a liar.’

“The remaining 25 percent of the time that ‘hate’ is used in the Bible is too varied to go into here. The only one thing that comes close to saying anything like ‘love the sinner, hate the sin’ is Hebrews 1:9: ‘You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness, therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy.’ But this passage is a quotation from Psalm 45:6-7. So the only New Testament passage that talks about anything like ‘hating sin’ is really an Old Testament passage — and even it doesn’t quite fit.

“So my final word is, no, you cannot use the word ‘hate’ in my name.”

Fundamentalists: “Jesus, your faxes are breaking up. The walls of the fiefdom we’ve built in your name are so thick your frequency can’t get through. Sounds like you said, ‘My final word is that it’s okay to use the word hate as long as we don’t use your name.’ Consider it done. Over and out.”

Jesus: “Oy vey.”

At some point, Catholic and Anglican Church leaders will have to answer for their deeds to a higher authority. Of their decision to pervert the Bible, the original manuscript, they’ll probably say what all editors say: “Don’t feel bad. It was a great first draft.”