“It was very nice. He’s a very sweet kisser. Tender, yet firm.” – Jim Carrey describes his kiss with Ewan McGregor in the upcoming I Love You Phillip Morris. In their review of the flick, The Hollywood Reporter says, “The camera does not cut away from their passionate kisses or acts of fellative love.” Hmmm … fellative love!

Obama declared the day before his inauguration as a Day of Service. Being the patriotic soul I am, I allowed not one, but two guys the privilege of servicing me! There was a third, but he kinda laid down on the job, so we’re not counting him. Still, it was a nice way to kick off the festivities.

Things were not quite as cheery in D.C. The “We Are One” concert on Saturday was supposed to begin with a prayer by Bishop Gene Robinson, who is openly gay. However, when the telecast began on HBO, no Bishop Robinson. HBO was scheduled to start their live telecast at 2:30PM, but Robinson was scheduled for 2:20. Who’s to blame? HBO points the finger at Obama’s camp: “The producer of the concert has said that the Presidential Inauguration Committee made the decision to keep the invocation as part of the pre-show.” What a surprise – the buck is already being passed around. Because we’re in a servicing mood, we’ll post the entire invocation on our site.

I always felt the shoe-horning in of Bishop Robinson was to placate the outrage at having Pastor Rick Warren at the inauguration itself. Many in the gay community took umbrage with this, including the sexy John Wesley Shipp. Remember JWS? He was “The Flash.” No? “Dawson’s Creek.” Anyone? I know – that hot ass shot on “NYPD Blue.” Ringing bells? Anyway, on his Facebook page (which is linked to mine), he has written extensively on the subject, and he knows of whence he speaks. His father is a very progressive minister at the New Community of Faith. At the beginning of November, John was visiting his parents when his dad performed his first same-sex wedding. Good genes and good sense run in the family.

As to the inauguration itself, Obama did something no president has done since Calvin Coolidge. No, not dance with Barbara Walters – he did a “do-over” of the Oath of Office. After numerous flubs (from Obama jumping the gun to Justice Roberts screwing up the words) the Obama camp decided he’d better do it again … just in case. Late Wednesday night, Roberts was summoned to the White House Map Room (where, presumably, they keep the maps). “Are you ready to take the oath?” asked Roberts. “Yes, I am,” responded Obama. “And we’re going to do it very slowly.” Take two went off without a hitch – albeit without Lincoln’s bible (or, for that matter, any bible).

My favorite moment was when the Obamas went to the White House in the morning for coffee with George and Laura. Michelle showed up with what appeared to be a hostess gift for Laura. Everyone was wondering what was in the box (which Laura promptly passed along, unopened, to an aid). It was a journal and pen, because Laura has expressed interest in writing her memoirs. After a little extra schooling perhaps George will be able to read it!

Moving onto celebrity gossip, I’ve been avoiding one story for a few weeks. Then I heard the word “extortion.” Suddenly my ears perked up! The police in the Bahamas (and what a competent group that is) are investigating an attempt to extort money out of John Travolta in connection with the death of his son, Jett. Johnny’s lawyers issued this statement: “Regrettably, in a time of such terrible grief, there are often a few individuals who attempt to make false claims in hopes of making millions of dollars. We will never let that happen.” What claims? Millions of dollars from whom? We can fill in some of the gaps. One of the people who were first on the scene (possibly connected with the ambulance company) took a photo of Jett on a cell phone and was threatening to sell the snap to a magazine unless Travolta ponied up some cash. Take my advice – don’t go to the Bahamas unless you wanna come home in a box!

The Oscar nominations have been announced and there are very few surprises. What’s intriguing is that a role Tom Cruise turned down got the nod – Dan White in Milk. What?? Tom Cruise could have killed a gay man instead of Hitler? Believe it or not, Gus Van Sant’s first choice was the diminutive Cruise for the role which has garnered Josh Brolin an Oscar nomination. Gus believed if he had Penn and Cruise on board, he’d have more clout with the studio to get the film made. Happily, Cruise went with Valkyrie instead (and what a convincing German accent that is).

Two weeks into “American Idol” and we have a couple of people to root for. First is Von Smith, who I’ve written about previously. Second is Adam Lambert, a very talented performer who was a member of the L.A. company of Wicked. People keep saying he was the lead, but actually he was the lead’s understudy. More often than not, he was seen onstage dressed as a monkey – not that there’s anything wrong with that. As I told you before, these two did make it to Hollywood Week. I can now reveal – exclusively – that they passed Hollywood Week and are through to the live shows. Congrats!

On the flip side, a singing icon finds himself in a new home. And it’s a big house –literally. Boy George was sentenced to 15 months in jail for chaining a hooker to his bed. Boy, I could be in BIG trouble! He also has to pay the hooker roughly $8K in damages. Or, a week’s pay.

I’m sure you’ve all heard the audio clip of Patti LuPone excoriating a member of the Gypsy audience who tried to take a photo during her climactic “Rose’s Turn.” She stopped the show, chewed him out, spat him out, had him thrown out, and started the scene all over again – to tumultuous applause. In case you’ve missed it, it can be found on BillyMasters.com – along with video footage of her in all the big numbers (thank God she didn’t see us).

In a quick “Ask Billy” question, Roger in Miami asks, “Last week on ‘Desperate Housewives,’ there was a flashback of ‘Edie’ in bed with an ex-husband who ended up being gay. He was a hot papi! And looks so familiar.”

The papi in question is the muy caliente Matt Cedeño, who you may know from his soap days (“Days of our Lives”) or possibly from a TV commercial (“El Pollo Loco”). The 35-year-old hottie has done a number of guest spots on TV and quite a bit of modeling –including some underwear shots for “International Male” and “Undergear.” He also has participated in the annual Macy’s Passport here in L.A., which is an annual fashion show gala that benefits AIDS charities. Not surprisingly, Cedeño modeled undies, showcasing his sizeable package. Photos of all the above can be seen at BillyMasters.com.

When an underwear model is hawking chicken, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. Hmmmm – now I’m ready for more sex – extra crispy! For the best gossip in town (regardless of what town you’re in), head on over to www.billymasters.com. Even though the Day of Service has passed, I am always available to service each and every one of you. Just drop a note to me at billy@billymasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Barack sends George a copy of My Pet Goat – Part 2! So, until next time, remember, one man’s gossip is another man’s bible..