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Quote UnQuote

Compiled by Rex Wockner

Published Thursday, 12-Feb-2009 in issue 1103

“One change I will never get used to is that everyone keeps calling me ‘congressman.’ It’s ridiculous to hear someone shout ‘congressman’ and watch each of the 435 members of Congress within earshot turn their heads. Seriously, for my sanity, just call me Jared.”

Openly gay U.S. Rep. Jared Polis, D-Colo., writing on cnn.com, Jan. 30.

“I am so sorry for the silence that I had that resulted in duplicity. Because I was never deceptive and never told a lie about other areas of my life. I was perfectly transparent and open. And it was just this one area that I stayed quiet about, and that ended up in a great deal of hurt. And of course I apologize to the homosexual community for the awful impression I gave, and I’m so sorry for the silence. I actually just thought I could handle it myself and my prayer was that I would handle it without embarrassing my wife and kids and without disappointing the church.”

Disgraced mega-pastor Ted Haggard to the Los Angeles Times, Jan. 27.

“Haggard on Oprah: I didn’t catch the whole thing. But if Mrs. Haggard had been leaning any further away from Ted Haggard during the interview she would’ve tumbled off Oprah’s couch. The body language was ... more revealing than anything.”

Gay writer Dan Savage on his blog, Jan. 29.

“Last week, I labeled members of the Mormon church who supported California’s Proposition 8 as ‘un-American.’ I believe Proposition 8 is counter to the promise of our Constitution; it is codified discrimination. But everyone has a right to vote their conscience; nothing could be more American. To say members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints who contributed to Proposition 8 are ‘un-American’ creates more division when the time calls for respectful disagreement. No one should use ‘un-American’ lightly or in haste. I did. I should not have.”

Actor Tom Hanks in a Jan. 23 statement.

“Maybe the reason Oprah was so nice to Ted was because she probably relates to him in a lot of ways. She’s not married with children, you know? Maybe she relates to some of the things he’s saying. You know what I mean?”

Alexandra Pelosi (daughter of U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi), who made a documentary about disgraced mega-church preacher Ted Haggard that is currently airing on HBO, to New York magazine, Jan. 29.

“I’d like to see Obama naked. I think great leaders, charismatic leaders and men who are so confident and who have achieved so much, usually have big penises.”

Bisexual actor Alan Cumming to New York magazine, Jan. 29.

“The Bumbling One has left the building. The banal demon has been forcibly sucked back into the horror-movie canister from whence he escaped eight years ago, and reburied in the back yard of your darkest Ann Coulter nightmare. Dubya, W, Shrub, the Decider, Chimp, Junior, Boy King, Smirk, he ambles no longer across the stage of our collective outrage. The easy punch line is no more. It raises the ultimate question for anyone in my line of work: What’s a left-leaning columnist (or satirist, political cartoonist, opinionator, et al) to do without the best and finest target in a lifetime? How will I ever survive without the Shrubster to kick around so effortlessly? Where, pray tell, will I ever find such a wicked wealth of material again? It is no trivial query.”

San Francisco Chronicle columnist Mark Morford, Jan. 30.