Here’s a new twist for next season’s “Boy Meets Boy”: Instead of making some of the contestants straight, make them HIV-positive.

After all, the real surprise in gay dating isn’t that your date turns out straight. It’s that he turns out positive.

As viewers, we’d have to switch from guessing who’s straight to guessing who’s HIV-positive. We’d have to turn in our gaydar for germdar.

Each time the bachelor eliminates one of the contestants, the loser would be interviewed and instead of seeing them labeled “straight” or “gay,” they’d be labeled “positive” or “negative.”

One by one contestants would be eliminated until only two men were left. The producers would then inform the bachelor that one of his picks is HIV-positive.

Remember the look of shock and horror on the face of last season’s bachelor, “James,” when he was informed one of the finalists was straight? Remember his horse-faced girlfriend who trotted around the room, snorting about the injustice of it all?

Now think about their reaction if they’d been told that the love of James’ life might be HIV-positive. My God, his girlfriend, Seabiscuit, would have reared up and busted out of her stall.

Here’s how I’d break it to them if I were the host: “James,” I’d say. “We have a surprise for you. Your two finalists passed every test you threw at them. But one of them failed a test that you should know about.”

“What test?” James would ask innocently. “Yes, what test?” Mr. Ed would whinny.

“I’ll give you a hint,” I’d say. “Sustiva.”

Both would shake their heads, looking confused.

“Okay,” I’d say. “Combivir.”

James, stumped, would hand his girlfriend a sugar cube and scratch the bridge of her head.

His girlfriend, putting a hoof on my arm, would say, “Hmmm. Some of these guys aren’t well traveled. Are these cities they haven’t been to?”

“Uh, no,” I’d say. “They’re drugs.”

“Oh, my God!” James would scream. “One of them is a drug addict?!”

Finally, I’d lose my patience and say, “No, you ninny. One of the guys you picked is HIV-positive.”

At that point, we’d see whether James was a man or a mouse. Hint: squeak, squeak.

My guess is that he’d rather the finalists be straight and negative than gay and positive. Like half the gay guys I know.

Take my friend John. He met a guy at a bar. Hot? “I’d have eaten the cashews out of his shit,” he told me. Until the guy told John he was positive. John’s flower drooped like it hadn’t been watered in weeks. On the way out John stopped at the restroom. After 10 minutes the guy went in to check on him. He spotted a window big enough to let someone John’s size stand on the toilet and shimmy his way out.

I’d love to see how James would have shimmied his way out of the honeymoon trip if he ended up picking the positive guy.

But more interestingly, I’d love to see the audience’s reaction. How many of us would say, “I’d never date a guy who was HIV-positive?”

How many of us would say, “It doesn’t matter?”

How many of us would change the channel so we wouldn’t have to face what we try so hard to avoid in real life?

Imagine if James picked the positive guy. Imagine the moment of truth when the guy discloses his status. What would James do? Would he find some window, some clause he could shimmy out of?

Would we?

Putting a “positive” twist on the show would force a lot of us to consider some uncomfortable questions: How do you spot someone with HIV if they look hotter than you do? Would you have sex with a positive guy? Would you have a relationship with him? What would your first response be to a guy who told you he was positive?

I’d love to see the bachelor on next season’s show do what most of us won’t on our dates (or one-nighters) — ask contestants their HIV status. I’d love to see the next “James” knowingly pick the positive guy as the winner, kiss him deeply and end up marrying him. By doing that he’d teach us that asking about HIV should be standard dating procedure, that getting a yes doesn’t mean you should say no, and that sleeping with positive guys is perfectly safe with the right precautions.

If dating were a game of pool, “Boy Meets Boy” could hit a billiard shot and win the game for all of us.