“What I won’t do is cast another f40something sexy blonde. Nicollette performed the aging, neighborhood tramp better than anyone has ever done before.” – Marc Cherry, “Desperate Housewives” creator, shares his thought about departing cast member Nicollette Sheridan. There’s a compliment in there somewhere.

Since I was in Boston celebrating Easter with my family, I missed out on the Las Vegas opening of Peep Show. Jerry Mitchell’s extravaganza was the hot ticket in Sin City and brought out some big names, including Charlie Sheen, Bruce Vilanch, Susan Anton, Perez Hilton, Donald Trump and Lindsay Lohan. That last name led to all sorts of conjecture that Lohan wants to strip on The Strip when Kelly Monaco’s contract expires this summer. And when it was learned that Lindsay flew in on the producer’s plane, it seemed more than just a casual visit. As it turns out, most of the glitzy folk at the opening were flown in on said plane. And Lindsay had a good reason to be there – she’s apparently good friends with co-star Mel B. Despite some reported comments to the contrary, her people are saying she wasn’t there scoping out a future gig. We went directly to sexy Jerry, who told us he’s interested if she is: “Eight shows a week takes a lot of dedication. If she’s game, I’d still be delighted!”

One show opens in Vegas, another closes. Elton John just took his final bow at Caesars. His three-year deal started in February of 2004 and, whaddaya know...he stayed for five. I think he summed it up best: “The ex-home of Celine Dion. And now it’s the ex-home of Elton John as well. Who are you going to get to fill your shoes now? You’ve got Bette Midler; you’ve got Cher. It’s gonna be the Village People next!”

Maybe Miss Elton has other offers – like perhaps joining the cast of this summer’s “I’m a Celebrity....Get Me Out Of Here.” Yes, the show that brought Melissa Rivers to reality television is returning with a sordid cast of so-called celebs: Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag, Geraldo Rivera, Janice Dickinson, Duane “Dog the Bounty Hunter” Chapman and Sanjaya Malakar (who, hopefully, won’t sing). More cast members will soon be revealed – maybe even someone we’ll be interested in! One potential contestant, former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, got ousted again when a federal judge refused to let him leave the country (the show films in Costa Rica). Here’s an interesting fact – Janice Dickinson appeared on the U.K. version of this show last year. Does this give her an edge?

While I was in Boston, I filled in as co-host of “One in Ten,” the weekly GLBT radio program on WFNX. I am sure many were surprised that I asked auteur Del Shores to be a guest – heck, I even surprised Del! He’s taken issue with some of my coverage of his projects, but I think he now knows that I have the utmost respect for what he’s achieved. The reason for the interview was regarding the fate of his “Sordid Lives: The Series” on Logo. At this point, it looks like the show is over. Despite tossing tons of money into “Drag Race” and reruns of “The Sarah Silverman Program,” no one at Viacom (Logo’s parent company) seems all that eager to raise a nickel for a second season of “Sordid.” Del’s disappointment is compounded by the fact that the actors haven’t been paid their residuals for the show – and he blames the production company for that. You can hear all the juicy details because I’ll post some of our interview (including Del taking issue with this very column) on BillyMasters.com.

For years there have been rumors that sexy singer Gavin Rossdale had been romantically involved with notorious Brit drag queen Marilyn. This rumor picked up steam when Boy George mentioned it in his 1995 autobiography. Now, Marilyn herself (himself?) has come forward to clear the air. “He was the love of my life,” the gender-bending rocker tells In Touch magazine. Why didn’t s/he tell all earlier? “He was just becoming successful in America. I agreed to lie against every grain of my being. We were together for five years. But it felt like 40.” Despite this story (and a really hot picture of the duo), Gavin’s reps have issued a firm denial. Denial is the right word for it, Gavin.

Rossdale has a few kids. So why can’t John Barrowman? Johnny and hubby Scott Gill are building a home in Wales that will be big enough for a sizeable family. “We’re going to have six bedrooms in it and we feel like we’ve got a lot to offer. A family unit is what you make a family unit. I’m a big family man and I have this feeling I would be a good dad. I am ready for it.” I bet it won’t be the first time he’d be called Daddy!

Incidentally, a new alleged nude shot of Barrowman has surfaced. I say “alleged” because the head is cut off the pic. So, I’m not swearing this is legit, but I’ll still post it – along with the one I know is real!

The dashing and dapper Tim Gunn made a startling revelation: “I haven’t been on a date in 26 years.” But don’t worry – he swears he’s happier alone. He says he doesn’t have time for a relationship and doesn’t miss being in one. Of course, he doesn’t tell us when the last time he had sex was – which is another matter entirely.

We must send out congrats to our buddy (who we never hear from anymore) Michael Cunio. You may remember Mikey from the flick The Fluffer (he was, indeed, the fluffer). Now he’s joining the Chicago cast of Jersey Boys. The hit musical is playing at the Bank of America Theatre.

I guess it was only a matter of time before more sexy siblings rushed to do porn together. After those Visconti Triplets, I didn’t know what would be next. All I had to do was look to one of my favorite porn pups Bobby Clark. You’ll recall I recently walked him like the dog that he is (photo on my Web site). Then I praised his box cover for Buckshot’s Boy Country. But now he’s really gotten my attention – we just received some photos of Bobby and his biological brother Seth watching porn and jerking off together! I know – shocking! Both are with Cockyboys.com and mentioned that they used to do this at home, pre-porn. So why not get filmed doing the same thing?

Our “Ask Billy” question comes from Harry in Las Vegas: “I just saw Britney Spears in concert and she had the hottest dancer with a shaved head who she kept fondling. I was wondering who he was and if he’s family.”

I believe you’re talking about Chase Benz. The 21-year-old dancer is one of Brit’s favorites. I doubt he’s family, since rumor has it he’s been this close with Britney since the tour began. Of course, this makes sense, since he’s from Tennessee (like Brit’s first love, La Timberlake), and he’s a back-up dancer (like her second husband, K-Fed). Although Chase reportedly has a girlfriend back home, he and Brit have engaged in some harmless flirtation on the road that has led to some heavy petting – how the heck is that harmless? This might explain reports of the duo sequestered in a bathroom in a Montreal nightclub for about 10 minutes... an admirable length of time, I’d say. Perhaps Spears just wanted to confirm those rumors that Chase is quite well endowed. I could have guessed that judging from the size of the codpiece he sports on stage. We’ve found some sizzling pics.

When Britney doing someone in a bathroom is news, it’s time to end yet another column. Cher is saying farewell and Britney is linked with a back-up dancer - it’s almost as if we’re in summer reruns. If you’ve got a question, concern, or a scoop, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before I go on a date with Tim Gunn (we could both do worse)! Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s Bible.