This is a difficult day to write a column, having just sat in the library at the San Diego LGBT Community Center with fellow community members and coworkers and listened to the Supreme Court decision on Proposition 8 come back as we feared it might. This is yet another devastating blow to our collective gut – as a community, as a minority, but also simply as human beings. The Supreme Court had the chance to do the right thing, to give all Californians access to the fundamental rights we deserve, but it failed to do so. Same-sex couples who were married during the window of time that same-sex marriage was legalized in California will retain their rights as married couples; however, those of us who did not say “I do” during that small time frame have been left out in the cold, doomed yet again to be “always the bridesmaid, never the bride.” It is hard to find hope amongst the doom and gloom, the tears and the frustration.

Adding to today’s deep disappointment is the fact that a vibrant and unique member of our community was the victim of a hate crime on May 14. Most of you know Rhythm Turner as the lead singer of Rhythm and the Method, a successful local band that has been playing at Pride festivals and venues around San Diego for years. Some of you may simply know her as the bright, outgoing person she is – creative, spiritual, laid-back. She has a cheerful, ’60s vibe and teaches yoga when she is not in class as a full-time student. On May 14, Rhythm and her girlfriend were approached in the parking lot outside a San Diego venue, as they were hugging goodbye after one of Rhythm’s gigs. The attacker asked the two women to kiss and became violent when they refused. Rhythm, who has no medical insurance, was left with serious facial fractures and a fractured nose, and now requires surgery to repair the damage. In an effort to speak out about hate crimes, she has since made a video about the incident, which can be viewed at www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5tGpnspl80. Rhythm’s attacker is not currently being charged with a hate crime, but she would like to see the charge added. Fundraisers are beginning to pop up around town to support Rhythm, starting with the first one this Thursday at FlawLes’ Thirsty Thursdays at Universal. A larger benefit with live music, raffles and silent auction is scheduled to take place at Humphrey’s Backstage Lounge on Saturday, June 13, from 1 to 4 p.m.

For more information on upcoming fundraisers or to send Rhythm a note of support, visit www.myspace.com/rhythmandthemethod.

So what are we supposed to do as a community when we find ourselves in a world where courts are voting to revoke our rights and peaceful, young women are being brutally assaulted for hugging goodbye after a concert? It is hard to keep hope alive, and these recent events have made it harder and harder for me to stay focused on the Hope and change that Obama promised we would see. But despite these obstacles, we can not let go and allow ourselves to be pulled down by the negativity. We have to give ourselves time to mourn and heal and then we have to dust ourselves off and keep going, keep fighting. Harvey Milk did not sit in his shop in the Castro and say to himself, “You know, San Francisco will never support a gay candidate, so I’ll just quit now and become a banker.” Instead he kept running and fighting until he actually won, and in doing so he changed the world around him.

Amid even the darkest and most depressing days, there is some light. Even in the case of Rhythm’s attack, something so hateful and so harsh that you can not imagine any good coming from it, there is the fact that Rhythm is receiving donations and letters of support from people across the country and the globe who have seen her video and heard her story. A global community of GLBT individuals and allies are stepping forward to support her and show her unconditional love. That is thanks in large part to the power of the Internet, but even more so to the power of love, which always surpasses the power of hate and prejudice. Rhythm’s nose will heal. So will our hearts, after being cracked open yet again by today’s ruling. What matters now is what we do once the healing has occurred – how we use these blows to make us stronger, how we each use our own strength, in our own way, to change the world for the better.

Are you a single girl who wants to work on her game? Are you a couple that want to meet new friends?

Are you a parent who just needs a night out? Family Matters and The Women’s Resource Center have the cure! Join The Center for Board Women on Saturday, May 30, from 5 to 8 p.m. There will be a dazzling selection of board games and card games – or you can bring your own personal favorite. Meet new and interesting people as you play. Admission is $5 per person and includes a Mexican fiesta, with soda and water included. Please note that this event is for those 18 and up. RSVPs are limited. Childcare will be available at $5 per child, which will include pizza for the kids. Childcare must be reserved and paid for in advance. There are no refunds if you do not attend. For more information or to RSVP, contact Jane Schmoll at jschmoll@thecentersd.org or 619- 692-2077, ext. 121.

The Women’s Resource Center (WRC) is pleased to announce another installment of its popular series, Coffee & Conversation with Cool Women, on Tuesday, June 2, at 7 p.m. at The Center (3909 Centre St.). Coffee & Conversation is a cozy event where hostess Tryce Czyczynska interviews notable women from the women’s community, “Oprah-style!” June’s “cool woman” is fine art photographer Judy Francesconi. Judy is famous worldwide for her sumptuous black and white photos of lesbian women. Please join the WRC for an inspiring conversation about art, lesbian visibility, and Judy’s life, as a photographer. Coffee and light dessert will be available. This event is free, open to all and will take place in The Center’s library.

San Diego Dyke March meetings are currently taking place every Sunday at 2:30 p.m. at Santos Coffee House (3191 Thorn St.) and every Wednesday at 5:30 p.m. at Claire De Lune (2906 University Ave.). The theme for this year’s event is “Transcending the Dichotomy.” “We believe it’s time to be a dyke, to be transgendered, to be gender queer, to be queer, to be oneself, however it is that one identifies,” reads the Dyke March Web site. “We are made up of the voices that remind us of our rich diversity. This is a movement of integration reminding us of the strength we share in unity, the strength we share in diversity.” The plan is to make this year’s Dyke March bigger and better than ever. For more information on how you can get involved, visit the official Web site, at www.dykemarchsd.org or e-mail dykemarchsd@yahoo.com.

That’s it for this month! See you next month for my ’09 Grrl’s Pride Guide!