“I loved it this season when girls went crazy for me. As far as I’m concerned, it’s all hot. Just because I’m not sticking it in there doesn’t mean that I don’t find it beautiful.” - Just a bit of Adam Lambert’s eloquent prose from the Rolling Stone interview. Next thing he’ll tell us he’s a devotee of Georgia O’Keefe!

We interrupt this regularly scheduled column to announce that the artist formerly known as Chastity Bono, daughter of Sonny and Cher, will now go by Chaz Bono, SON of Sonny and Cher! Yes, that strapping gal is undergoing gender reassignment and transitioning into a man – which may surprise those of you who thought she already was a man! It reminds me of a story someone told me at GLAAD. After Chastity resigned, they found a huge dildo in the back of one of her desk drawers. Now they’ll find an itty-bitty one IN her drawers!

The Tony Awards are typically one of the lowest-rated award shows on television. However, this year’s ratings were up 19 percent over last year ...which may not seem like much, but a bump’s a bump. Some of the credit must go to Neil Patrick Harris, who hosted with grace and humor (and sported a snappy shiny suit).

It wasn’t as good a night for singer Bret Michaels. He backed up to exit the stage while a set was coming down from the flies. Boom! Bret’s down with a fractured nose and split lip, which required three stitches. That’ll certainly cut into his time making out with skanks on “Rock of Love,” but I digress. Bret said, “All I remember is Shrek and the donkey helping me up, and Liza giving me a towel.” That’s some trip!

Jerry Herman received a Special Tony for Lifetime Achievement, presented by Angela Lansbury (who won her fifth Tony, tying most Tony wins with Julie Harris). Earlier in the evening, Herman revealed that his career in the theatre is over. ‘I think my style of music has come and was very, very good to me, but is gone now.” On the positive side, the London production of his musical La Cage aux Folles is headed to Broadway next spring.

Another London production making some news is a proposed stage version of The Bodyguard. Producers are negotiating with the film’s producers to bring the show to the West End in 2012. The current plan is to use the songs from the film and some new material.

Something happening in the not-so-distant future is the Broadway revival of Bye Bye Birdie, starring John Stamos and Gina Gershon, as Birdie’s manager and secretary respectively. What will be more interesting to my readers is the one person not getting any press – “Birdie,” himself. That role will be played by hunky Nolan Gerard Funk. Does that name ring a bell? He was the lead in Nickelodeon’s High School Musical rip-off, Spectacular. At the time, I told you that he had a past stripping in gay bars here in L.A. Small world, isn’t it?

When Zac Efron turned down the Footloose remake, he said he wanted to do something other than another movie musical. And yet, he’s allegedly interested in doing a film version of the musical Rock of Ages, taking on the role of Tony-nominee Constantine Maroulis (at least he won’t suffer by comparison). If that doesn’t work out, rumor has it that Simon Cowell is interested in Efron taking on John Travolta’s iconic performance in a remake of Saturday Night Fever. Shoot me now.

The least gossipy news of the week is the “bombshell” that Adam Lambert is gay. YAWN. In the Rolling Stone cover story, he says that he felt coming out during “American Idol” would have overshadowed his singing, which is probably true. But he was totally out to everyone at Idol - including his roommate, Kris Allen. In fact, the big revelation in the article was that Adam had a crush on Kris! “They put me with the cute guy. Distracting! He’s the one guy I found attractive in the whole group on the show: nice, nonchalant, pretty and totally my type – except that he has a wife. I mean he’s open-minded and liberal, but he’s definitely 100 percent straight.” There’s the problem.

Kris apparently also got to know Adam’s boyfriend, Drake LaBry: “Drake’s from Louisiana and Adam is from L.A. But they click well and they’re really nice together.”

“One Life To Live” is adding a gay couple to the show, and it’s two awfully hot guys. Brett Claywell and Scott Evans – who is the virtual look-alike brother of film hunk Chris Evans. Scott is gay in real life, and he’s playing a cop – yum! According to the storyline, the two characters had a fling in college, which they attempt to rekindle in present day. Problems arise when another gay character comes into town. It’s like “One Gay at a Time”!

It seems the gay couples are more stable than the straight ones. Remember when Melissa Gilbert was engaged to Rob Lowe? People always wondered why they broke up. Now Half Pint is telling all in an autobiography called Prairie Tales – get it? Aside from all that boring crap, she reveals that she got pregnant with Lowe’s child. When she told him, he said, “I can’t be a father. I can’t be a husband. I’m so sorry.” And that was that. Soon after that, she suffered a miscarriage. “I had lost my baby and my relationship with Rob...and it hurt like hell.”

Perpetual virgin Brooke Shields feels she waited too long to give it away. But she feels emotionally she was unable to connect with someone else because she hadn’t learned to love herself. “I would have lost my virginity earlier than I did, at 22, because I would have been much more in touch with myself.” Another problem might have been that until she was 22, she’d only dated gay guys!

This week’s “Ask Billy” question is from Kale in Chicago: “Did you see the picture of Barbara Bush with some hot guy in a Speedo (with a huge bulge) at her birthday party? Who was he?”

In news stories regarding Mrs. Bush’s 84th birthday pool party, most articles said that some cast members from a “local production of A Chorus Line were in attendance.” Let me be the first to explain to you this wasn’t like the Kennebunk Port High School production. It’s the Ogunquit Playhouse production starring Lorenzo Lamas – which I told you about months ago. Real Broadway-caliber folks perform there...in addition to Lamas. The hot guy in question is 24-year-old hottie Justin Clynes, and he’s most definitely a Broadway babe. He was in the recent revival of The Ritz where he played a towel-wearing, bathhouse-cruising type. He’s also a model, and we’ve unearthed quite a few photos showing off his fabulous flesh and a penchant for publicizing his pubes. Oh, did I mention he’s done underwear modeling? You’re right – he does have a huge bulge. And, in case any of you are wondering (and I know you are), he’s circumcised.

When I’m talking about hot guys’ packages and Barbara’s Bush, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. By the time this runs, L.A. Pride will be a thing of a past. And that can only mean two things I’ve proven once again that I’m multi-orgasmic, and I’ll have no voice (strangely, those two truisms will be revealed at the same time). I’ll probably tell you about the festivities next week.

For your questions, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Chastity shows off her bulge! Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.