The North County LGBT Coalition hosted a “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” conference last week outside the gates of Camp Pendleton in Oceanside. The goal of the conference was to provide an open forum for advocates and opponents of the policy to discuss their opinions.

“It’s very important that we as activists in our community get outside of our own comfort zones and go out into areas that are not normally considered to be gay friendly,” Mike Magee, panelist and Board Member for the Service Member’s Legal Defense Network said, including he thought the conference was successful. “We went into an area that is bordered by some of the largest military bases in the world. We’re going to make this change happen by going out to talk to people that don’t necessarily agree with us.”

Max Disposti, Chair of the North County LGBT Coalition organized the June 19 conference.

“When you have a discrimination policy like “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” it sends a discriminatory message to our community and youth,” he added. “Oceanside is a military community. It is affected by the military policies. The composition of our families, the school district, the city council, I mean everything is pretty much affected by our military community.”

According to Disposti, the North County LGBT Coalition invited proponents of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” but they have yet to respond to their invitation.

“We invited the other side but we haven’t had any responses,” Disposti said. “We even contacted the Relationships and Affairs office for Camp Pendleton. We invited different council members that are ex-military. We invited Councilperson Bilbray’s office, and they decided not to come. We wanted both sides. Our job was to make them feel comfortable, but nobody came forward.”

The conference involved several panel members who discussed their experiences in relationship to “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.”

Evelyn Thomas, a former service member and panelist shared how the policy affected her life. “I think it’s a form of inequality information that GLBT people can’t serve in the armed forces because of their sexual orientation,” Thomas said. She enlisted in the armed forces in 1986, just prior to “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Thomas explained that she went through an eight-hour physical and mental exam. She said the enlistment officers wanted to make sure she was suited for the physical rigors of being a soldier.

“He explained to me that this was the mental part of the exam,” she said. “He asked me ‘have you ever been a homosexual?’ and I knew if I told the truth, they would not allow me into the armed forces.”

Thomas added that at the time, she did not know that being gay or lesbian was illegal. “When I said that they had me sign a contract stating that I was not a homosexual and they allowed me to go into the armed forces,” she added.

According to Thomas, one of the reasons she served as a panelist for the conference was because she thinks about the young gay and lesbian service members currently serving.

“I carry that with me until this day because I had to deny the essence of me,” Thomas said. “I think about all the young men and women that are serving in the armed forces today that have to deny the essence of them because of their sexual orientation.”

Thomas also added that the specifics of how someone can be targeted in the military are suspicious.

“The thing is in this day and age if someone makes an accusation, how do you fight that?” Thomas asked. “What if someone who is heterosexual but has the characteristics of the female gender is accused of being gay? How do you prove that you’re not?”

Thomas concluded, “They may not come out and ask them, but they have other means to use to determine whether someone is gay or lesbian.”

According to Disposti, this conference may be the only one of its kind so close to Camp Pendleton and the Oceanside community.

“One thing that we realized was that by doing outreach in the community, nobody understands the inaction of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” is actually allowing gays and lesbians to serve in the military,” he said. “They don’t understand the consequences in terms of the lack of benefits, the fact that they need to hide their families in order to serve. I think we were very successful based on the feedback.”

Disposti seemed confident similar conferences will take place in North County.

“This is only the beginning,” he said, mentioning hopes of confronting issues facing GLBT immigrants.

For more information on the North County LGBT Coalition, visit www.northcountylgbtcoalitionforce.org.