“They don’t ask about it as much as you might think. Actually, it’s been a long time since anyone asked it. I don’t think it’s really newsworthy if the gay guy from ‘Ugly Betty’ is gay or not.” – Michael Urie refuses to tell New York Magazine if he’s gay or not. BTW, the interview is about the off-Broadway play he’s in called The Temperamentals, which is about the formation of the first U.S. gay rights group.

The first stop on my European tour is Milan – just as Men’s Fashion Week ends. Happily, the city is still teeming with a bevy of beauteous brawn (and shirtless since it’s in the 90s). I must confess that this column could very well have been filed from an Italian prison. Once I landed, I used what I consider pretty good Italian to ask the attendant at the train station for the timetable. Apparently, what I said was, “Give me your watch!” OY!

Lots of things seem to be getting lost in translation. Remember the story about Ricky Martin coming out? At the time of the TV Aqui cover, I questioned the context of the disclosure that his heart could belong to a man or a woman. Lo and behold, our colleague Mike Szymanski got to the bottom of it. What Ricky said was, “The heart of Ricky Martin, if it belongs to a male or a female, I have never talked about it.” So, what he says is basically nothing.

Remember when I told you Simon Rex and Lance Bass were seen shooting some footage in WeHo? We now know what it was for. It was the pilot for the pseudo-reality show “Rex,” which opens with the following quote: “Simon Rex was a struggling actor when a controversial masturbation video was discovered that made him famous. He’s had no controversy like that since, … and boy, could his career use one.” What it didn’t say was, “Thank you Billy Masters.” That was one of my first scoops and launched my career, while it was the highpoint of Simon’s. Rex is trying to come back, and this show is all about trying to get people interested in him again. He’ll do anything – even be romantically linked with Lance. The show is funny and has some very good ideas. There’s just one problem – Simon Rex. How do I say this delicately … If you saw his jerk-off video, you saw his best work. He’s barely convincing playing himself! He is, however, surrounded by some fabulous people including Paris Hilton, Jamie Pressley and Victor Garber. The pilot is actually stolen by Simon’s “controversy consultant,” Geoffrey Arend. Give that guy a show and I’d watch it.

Things are heating up on the revamped “Melrose Place.” In addition to Thomas Calabro and Laura Leighton, original cast member Josie Bisset is planning to drop by. This makes total sense, since her character was Leighton’s sister and Calabro’s ex-wife. While she’s only scheduled for one episode, I suspect it will expand – if the show takes off, that is. Oh, and you know that although Josie was married to smokin’ hot Rob Estes (who is currently on the “90210” redux), she is now of the lesbianic persuasion ... right?

Speaking of “90210,” everyone has been writing to me about the casting of Trevor Donovan as the new hunky bad boy. Since he’s a former A&F model, people figured I’d have some nude photos of him. They figured right! Trevor’s real last name is Neubauer, and he previously appeared on “Days of Our Lives” as “Jeremy Horton.” I wrote about him back then and ran some very racy pics of him where he shows virtually everything (there’s one odd photo of a naked Trevor being entered from behind by a one-eyed alien).

A few months ago, Ashton Kutcher had to get his chest waxed for a movie. That flick is called Spread, and Ash plays a gigolo named “Nikki.” He stars alongside that sexually ambiguous alien, Anne Heche, playing a cougar who eventually gets left for a more age-appropriate chick (somewhere Demi Moore is petrified). The trailer for the French version, more aptly titled Toy Boy, shows off Kutcher’s best assets – his ass. There are numerous long, lingering shots of his buttocks.

Time for another installment of “Fayewatch.” We’re told that La Dunaway is still trying to get that film version of Master Class off the ground – even if she has to fund it, direct it and star in it herself! Our spies in the Windy City tell me she was recently in town scouting locations and being courted by the Chicago Film Office. All was well until the diva slammed her hand in her van’s door and had to be whisked to the emergency room. No details on her prognosis, but this probably doesn’t give her warm and fuzzy feelings about Chitown!

Since we’re all over the map this week, our “Ask Billy” question comes from Philippe in Cannes: “Bonjour, Billy. I love your site. Have you heard of Matt Pokora? He is a singer here in France and is very sexy. My friend says he is gay, but I have to ask you the truth. I think you will like him?”

I love a foreign tongue, so I say merci to Philippe. I’ve never heard of this Matt Pokora – a name which does not roll off the tongue. However, I did some research and learned that he is indeed very sexy. In fact, I’d call him HAWT – as the kids back in the States say. His real name is Matthieu Totta. He was on the French talent show “Nouvelle Star” and ended up in the boyband Linkup. Although their first song was a hit, they broke up shortly thereafter. That’s when Matthieu became Matt and launched a career as a solo artist. In fact, he had some success with a duet called “It’s Alright” with Ricky Martin – these columns have a way of tying together. None of this matters to you – except that my colleagues in Europe tell me he is bisexual. In fact, one person told me there are paparazzi pics of him kissing a guy in the South of France. Maybe it was Philippe! He did a very provocative pictorial for Tetu, which is a French gay publication. Sure, he could be pandering. After all, in the pics he looks like a high-priced hooker or a cheap porn star.

Could it be that a certain gay blade has shaved off one beard and grown another? It’s one thing to hang out with that friendly filly who has known her way around a queen or two. Now he’s clinging onto a more desperate dame who, if I’m not mistaken, never met a gay man she didn’t like. His undeniable charms have worked pretty well in the past – his breakthrough happened when he focused on a guy mentioned in this very column. That time, he landed a series. The only thing that could happen with this bitch is he’d shrink half a foot and lose all his hair!

When I’m dodging the Polizia di Stato, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. I’m leaving Italy in the nick of time and heading to an undisclosed Eastern European country. First order of business? Find the American Embassy – just in case. As long as I can also find WiFi, I’ll still be able to answer your questions. Just drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Anne Heche mounts Trevor Donovan Neubauer! Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.