In a little more than a week San Diegans will be marching down University Avenue, riding on floats and gathering for another year of “Pride” celebrations. Years ago it was called “gay Pride.” Some time later it was changed to “Gay and Lesbian Pride.” Then we added bisexuals and the transgendered followed by “queer and questioning” and anyone else who felt they didn’t fit into those subgroups that were already defined. Now we simply have Pride, which includes just about anyone who wants to celebrate “Gay Day.” After all, gay does mean happy and happiness is a call for celebration.

Yet while inclusiveness can be a good thing, it can also move us so far from the cause that its original meaning is lost.

Take a look at some of the bars and theme nights in San Diego, for example. Years ago there were bears and leather men who frequented specific bars on Sunday afternoons. Today, if you go to those same bars on a Sunday afternoon you can barely find anyone wearing black leather boots. Sadly, the fun places that attracted men who wanted some Sunday sunlight after a night in the dungeon have been taken over by gay men whose only interest in leather is a wide, white belt. The big and hairy guys have now been replaced by oversized, sunglass-wearing queens and their tagalong girlfriends. Even dance nights that were designed for bears and men in Levis and/or leather have become just another evening of twinks twirling on the dance floor. The fault is ours. We wanted to be inclusive. We wanted to allow other members of the gay community to experience us. We hoped that they would join us and see that we are just like they are – only bigger, hairier and hotter. We wanted acceptance, so we invited them into our house. Now, our house is their house and we have fewer places to go.

This year during Pride the leather community will present the “Leather Realm.” The “Leather Realm” is an opportunity for those members of the “GLBTIQQ” community and their families, friends and hags to meet members of the BDsM community. It’s designed “to provide ongoing education, communication and understanding among, although not limited to, all participants of the Leather / BDsM / Fetish / Kink lifestyles.” It also strives “to provide support in the eradication of stereotypical misconceptions within and about the lifestyle choices of the Leather / BDSM / Fetish / Kink communities at large.” The “Leather Realm” is made up of hard-working volunteers who donate their time all year long in the planning and execution of the event. To learn more about Leather Realm, log onto www.sandiegoleatherrealm.com.

We can all agree that the “Leather Realm” is a good thing and brings us great pride. We can also agree that not all who enter its gates are there for the educational opportunities it provides. Unfortunately, it attracts the “looky lous,” “gigglers” and “the appalled.” These are the same people who have taken over our dances and Sunday beer busts. With inclusion must come respect of the surroundings and, more importantly, the respect of the hosts. We would never allow the “looky lous,” “gigglers” and “the appalled” to take over our homes, so we must not allow them to take over our events, our establishments and our theme nights.

Surrounding Pride this year will be many events. On Thursday, July 9, at 7:30 p.m., Club X will present a workshop at the Joyce Beers Community Center entitled “Protocols, and their role in BDSM.” The workshop is presented by Ms. Maeve and topics discussed will range from different relationship styles to rituals to discussions (and examples) of formal protocols. More information about Club X is at www.clubxsd.org.

If you’re handy with your tools, Bears San Diego needs help putting together its Pride float. The Bears will be meeting at the Public Storage just south of Market at 560 16th Street at 4 p.m. The following Friday, Mr. San Diego Leather 2009, Bryan Teaugue and the beautiful Caryl will host a non-alcoholic alternative Kick Off to Pride Weekend called “Friday Night Beat and Greet.” The “Friday Beat and Greet” will be held on the third and fifth Fridays of each month and is open to people age 18 and above. For more information and the address, please contact Bryan at mrsandiegoleather2009@kinky365.com. Whatever you decide to do next weekend, please be safe and remember to celebrate with pride.