Have you ever heard a song that really stays with you even years after you first heard it? Years ago, during Pride, my best friend gave me a CD with a terrific song on it. The chorus of the song began with the line, “What have you done today to make you feel proud?” and it’s stayed with me ever since. To me, this is what Pride is really about: daily pride – real-life pride, not something we drag out once a year. Pride is something we live with day-in and day-out, whether we’re having a good day or a lousy one. Whether we’re praised for our queerness or whether a carload of homophobic teenagers harass us from their passing car, we can ask ourselves: What have I done today to make myself proud?

As GLBT people, I believe we are particularly blessed and gifted. We have special ways of loving, unique ways of seeing and perceiving. With this, as with all gifts, comes responsibility. We’re not merely equal to straight people, we’re more fortunate than they are. Are they as insightful and observant and creative as we are? Hell, no! At least, that’s my humble opinion. So, given that we possess these heightened talents and abilities, what are we doing with them? Are we making ourselves proud by our words and deeds? Ask yourself:

• Am I proud of how kind I was to someone in need today?

• Am I proud of how patient I was with someone moving slowly today?

• Am I proud of how compassionate I was today when I could have just rolled my eyes, said “Whatever” and walked away?

• Am I proud of how wisely I acted today in a difficult situation?

• Am I proud of how calmly assertive I was when someone told a joke insulting my GLBT brothers or

sisters?

I welcome GLBT Pride. I didn’t come out until my early 30s. After almost three decades of being ashamed of being gay, I found Pride to be a terrific antidote to the poison of homophobia. But, as openly GLBT people, at this point in our lives, what are we proud of? Our sexual orientation? Isn’t that something we were born with? Are we proud of how we handled it? Ah, now that’s a different question. How do we handle our sexual orientation? Do we respect ourselves? If so, how do we show it? In what subtle ways do we disrespect ourselves? Each other? For example, if we are gay, white men, how do we treat gay men of color, bisexuals, lesbians, transgender people and those who are younger, older, more or less attractive, richer or poorer?

See my point? It’s not so easy to be proud of yourself every day. Pride isn’t just a behavior or attitude that you bring out only for Pride weekend, this is the stuff that makes up our day-to-day lives. For example: when you go into a bar or a café, how do you interact with your brothers and sisters? Are you secure and friendly or arrogant and fearful? When something goes wrong with your drink order, do you make a witty but unkind remark, or can you rise above and forgive the server who made a mistake? Can you tell your friends you love them or do you need to make Oscar Wilde-ian remarks etched in acid? What have you done today to make yourself proud?

As Pride weekend approaches, many of my clients obsess on their bodies. Some of them have been working out for weeks so they can walk around and parade their beautiful, hard-earned physiques. And why not? As long as it’s pride, not narcissism. The former is a complement to your life, the latter is a weakness that only serves to mirror your low self-esteem. And, for those of us with less-than-perfect bodies, can we take pride in ourselves just as we are? Harder still, try this one as you walk around after the parade: can you love the Beautiful Ones? The truly gorgeous specimens you see all around you? Can you smile at them and wish them well, or are you a bitter, jealous person who criticizes the young and the beautiful? Isn’t real Pride about more than ourselves? Isn’t it being happy for our brothers and sisters as well? I think we’re up for it. And while you’re at it, ask yourself, today and every day:

What have I done today to make myself proud?