We see it on TV all the time, especially here in San Diego, where a ship comes home, or a plane carrying Marines arrives. They disembark, smiles on their faces, with loved ones running to them. They grab for their spouse and kids and for a moment…time stops! They survived another year overseas, away from everyone they love, to serve their nation. Whatever one’s opinion on the war is does not matter, because it all comes down to that moment for that servicemember. Yet, so many cannot enjoy this moment, all because of a policy commonly known as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT).

Originally conceived to appease conservatives during the Clinton Administration, the policy was set up to allow for any citizen of this nation to serve in the military…as long as they were quiet about who they really are. Since 1994, a year after it was passed, an estimated 13,000 service members have been discharged. And according to the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network’s Web site (www.sldn.org) one person has been discharged daily based on their estimates of Pentagon Statistics. Since President Obama has taken office, nearly 311 have been discharged (again an estimate). It has cost you the taxpayer nearly $360 million dollars as a result. And of the 28 members of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, only two disallow GLBTQ community members to serve openly (including former Eastern Bloc nations whose Human Rights records towards GLBTQ are less than impeccable) – the United States and Turkey.*

So why bother joining? Why fight for a country that does not treat you as an equal? The answers vary and are personal. Being in the service has many wonderful perks and privileges. Those who join have their own reasons: school, service to the nation, paying off debt, a sense of camaraderie, a job, and training. Whatever the reason, it is valid to them, and they should not be judged for it. What is important is that avenues be open to them and not shut just because they prefer to be with someone of the same sex. Some might disagree that DADT should be lifted; they feel it allows community members to serve, but as long as they are quiet. But why should they remain quiet? They should have the same rights to talk about what they did over the weekend as their heterosexual team members. For those who have never served, the military is about trust, and how can you trust someone if you cannot tell them about who you really are?

There are much more than just equal rights or the ability to get a hug and a kiss without fear of persecution at stake here. It is bigger than even trust; it is about respect, and not just as an individual, but as a community. Once the law is changed, then people’s minds will be changed, and once those minds are changed, then society will change. If you do not believe me, look at history: When the military integrated in 1948, it was much more controversial than the DADT issue is today. Granted it took years for the nation to accept all people of skin color, and yes, we still have racial tensions, but overall society has changed from where we were in 1948, and that is the point. Once the military allows GLBTQ people to serve openly, then there no longer will be constant suspicions, mistrust and dishonesty about a person’s personal life. Once the military opens up, and those in the military work with GLBTQ members, they will see them as colleagues. And when those same people leave, they will bring that with them wherever they may go, including public office. Once they do that, then they can help fight for equality in other realms, such as marriage. It may seem idealistic, and not all will subscribe to it, but it will be a start, and eventually, the nation as a whole will eventually accept the community, bringing one more divider down and allowing for this great nation to do what the community does at Pride, celebrate its diversity.