Dear Editor,

This letter is a strong word of caution to the Gay Community. I know we are riding on a high by a lot of favorable decisions made regarding our community, the most recent being the right to legal marriage passed by the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court. My word of caution is to be aware that these positives for us only increase the strong negatives in the anti-gay community. Be cognizant of your surroundings when out, especially if you are alone. When clubbing or late night dining and walking, do so with friends. If you should be alone, spend the money on a cab. Better to arrive home safely than to spend the money at an emergency room. I don’t mean to sound like an alarmist, I am just a realist when it comes to those who discriminate against us.

Roger M. Negro

San Diego

This is the year 2003, November to be exact. I am 80 years old, I am gay and I am so sick and tired of the religious right (and who said they are RIGHT) complaining about the use of the word “MARRIED” to indicate the partnership of Lesbians and Gays! Why don’t we let the HET’s keep the word MARRIED to mean their union, their partnership etc., of a man and a woman? So let us create our own word for a union, a partnership or a commitment: “COUPLED.” Then we would be a “COUPLED GAYS;” “COUPLED LESBIANS.” We would be COUPLED and NOT MARRIED.

We would have our OWN word!!!!! COUPLED! With the same rights and privileges accorded to MARRIED!

Of course many, many laws, writings, tax rules, forms etc would have to be revised. So what if it cost a lot of money? After all we are the richest country in the world. Think of the time and money now being spent wastefully on the meaning of the word “MARRIED.”

DADDY BEN FOWLER

San Diego, California

Dear Editor,

Again, we find our community fighting over something trivial, an awards event. Let us bring this into perspective, shall we? What makes the SanDie Awards any better or different from the Nicky Awards? They are both used to recognize individuals within our community for being the best in their areas of expertise. Both raise money, one for a better cause than the other (my opinion), does for gay organizations. It is a shame the people that will be hurt the most by this travesty is not Rick Ford or Nicole Murray-Ramirez, but our future, our children. Let us not set this type of example for our future community leaders. Do we really want to pass on this sort of self-centeredness to our young people, who look to our current leaders for guidance? Come on!! Let us all grow up. We are harassed daily by too many people outside our community as it is. Let us not cause harassment from within.

Sam Villarreal

San Diego

Dear Editor,

This morning I walked around the corner to get a cup of coffee and pick up the latest GLT.

As I sipped and read the lead article, “Playing the Funding Game: Keeping Tabs on Dwindling HIV/AIDS Cash,” [Gay and Lesbian Times, issue 829, 11/13/03] I reflected on the irony of also watching the demolition across the street from the coffee house.

You see, that little building was once the home of HARP — the Holistic AIDS Response Program. I worked there for a time. But, more importantly, I was a daily witness to the plight and struggle of many brave people who utilized the services provided there.

I read the article with great interest that quickly turned to indignation and sadness. The words painted a picture of greedy HIV/AIDS infected people who selfishly used up “our” dwindling services while they spent gobs of money on party nights and enjoyed daily massages and other extravagances.

The slant of the entire story seemed to imply that the paultry [sic] amount of funding that the HIV/AIDS community services receive now is somehow “their” fault; that “Disability Queens” are the rule (anyone living on disability would take offense at that label).

I can tell you, from years of working and volunteering in the GLBT community and, more specifically, with HARP that there was no “riding the gravy train.” Yes, on a rare occasion I conducted and “intake” with someone who had an income of any sort. Once there was a client who had some real money. This was an anomaly, not the norm.

HARP, like so many other organizations, ran on a shoestring budget. The hundreds of healing professionals donated thousands of hours of work. The office ran only because of the dedicated volunteers who were almost all struggling with not only their HIV/AIDS symptoms, but also with the grind of living on very limited means.

For whatever my voice is worth to my brothers and sisters who I saw braving not only the stigma of walking through HARP’s doors as they took action to keep healthy using complementary therapies, let me say how ashamed I am of how even our own community is attacking you. And to the hundreds of volunteers who didn’t have to use their own hearts and hands, I apologize that even The Center seems to “apologize” for ever providing your work.

To all those who I saw give their only dollar or who brought in a can of soup for another to have nourishment of body and of spirit — I will always remember and honor you.

Beth Ann Nottley, HHP

Former Center/HARP employee