We really do create our own realities. I experienced it in my own life, and I’ve seen it in the lives of others. That’s why if you find yourself out of a job you must call a moratorium on negativity – anger toward your former boss, jealousy toward employed friends and ex-coworkers, worry that you’ll never be able to replicate your former salary – and start practicing positivity.

You may not find the positive energy switch right away. But keep looking, and you will find it. Here are a few life-changing tips that can help you change your outlook and go from fired to fired up:

Jettison your anger. Allow yourself to be angry, sad, bitter, upset for a few days and then let it all go. Forgive the company. Forgive your employers. Release the bitterness. Know that you can’t create your future by focusing on the past. After I was laid off, I made a conscious decision to forgive my company for letting me go and for only giving me two weeks’ severance pay.

I chose to thank them, not hate them. Making the decision to let that bitterness go helped me to think more clearly and have more energy to take positive action. Recently I spoke with a gentleman who told me that he wished he had made the same decision after losing his job. He said it took him a year to finally move on and that his negative energy caused him to waste a lot of valuable time.

Say to yourself, “I have a dream.” Then start working to achieve it. Having studied many successful people, I’ve found that they all can pinpoint the moment where they decided what they truly wanted to achieve in life. It’s a practice that should be required for all of us. After all, if you know what you truly want out of life then you will do whatever it takes to make it happen. Obvious as this may sound, many people never take the time to discover it. They live on autopilot, letting circumstances shape their days and months and years and decades.

When I lost my job, I realized that though I was initially sad to lose it I hadn’t been truly happy. So, I took a moment and asked myself what I truly wanted to do with my life. “What was I born to do?” I asked. “Why am I here?” After a few days of thinking, the idea to open a franchise restaurant, which would hopefully allow me time to write, popped into my head. And off I went toward achieving my dream.

Choose to have faith in what you want, rather than what you don’t want. Try out this riddle: What do fear and faith have in common? The answer: A future that hasn’t happened yet. So why would you choose to paint that future bleak and empty, when you could paint it vibrant and fulfilling and fun?

Fear is belief in in a negative future while faith is belief in a positive future. Even if you’re not a spiritual person, why would you choose to believe the worst is going to happen? It just feels better to look to the positive future.

Start each day with “three questions.” When you get up each morning, ask yourself this one question, What are the three things I need to do today that will help me find the job and create the success that I desire? Then, take action on those three things every day until you’ve achieved them. This is a great way to keep feeding your positive energy.

You may not get there in two days, a week, or even a month. But every day you’ll be one step closer to your goal. And, eventually, you will get there. Or maybe you’ll find yourself somewhere even better.

Take on a “glass-92-percent-full” approach to the recession. Today’s employment-related statistics can be hard to get out of your head when you’re searching for a job. But unlike the pundits on TV who seem all too pleased to focus on the most negative numbers, you can choose to focus on the flip side. Rather than fixating on eight percent unemployment, focus on 92 percent employment.

Dwelling on the higher number will likely be better for maintaining a positive state of mind during your job search. Always remember, the choice is yours.

Choose to be humble and hungry. Be humble. Know that you don’t have all the answers and can learn something from everyone. Know that there are always new ways to learn, improve, and get better. Be open to advice. Be open to learning a new skill and trying a job you haven’t thought of before.

Also, be hungry: Seek out a mentor, take him to lunch and model his success. Think of his life as a blueprint you can follow. Continuously improve and seek out new ideas and new strategies.

These are two very important H-words. By remaining humble and hungry after my job loss, I was able to focus on and learn the things that made it possible for me to run a restaurant, write and speak. In short, being humble and hungry helped me achieve another great H-word: happiness!

Of course, maybe you’re not the one who’s been laid off. Maybe it’s your husband or wife or brother or sister or best friend. If so, your job is simply to encourage and love them. Tell them you believe in them every chance you get. Give them strength.

I’m a lucky guy for a lot of reasons, but one of them is that my wife did exactly this for me when I lost my job. It made all the difference in the world. Just knowing that there is someone out there sending love and support your way can make the difficult days, weeks and months following a layoff easier.

Really, aren’t we all in this boat? We all know someone who’s lost his or her job. If you’re wondering, what you can do for that person – well, the answer is to encourage, uplift and support. It will not only bolster your loved one’s spirits, it will make you feel good too. Leadership, after all, is a transfer of belief.