Much has been written in this publication and others about the boycott of the Manchester Grand Hyatt (MGH) and my professional relationship with them. I have spoken little, but have become increasingly frustrated about the misrepresentations made about me, Hyatt, Manchester and the boycott. I believe it’s time to speak for myself – clear and unadulterated.

I have been in public relations for over 30 years. I am openly gay and have been throughout my career – I came out in 1978. I started and sold the largest gay-owned PR firm in the world, represented almost every national GLBT organization at some point in my career; helped actors and athletes out of the closet; and have been honored by GLAAD, AIDS Project Los Angeles, California Life Lobby and Congregation Kol Ami. I married my longtime partner last summer and, in lieu of gifts, asked my friends and family to donate to Equality California. I say this not to grandstand, but so you may understand that my engagement with and commitment to the GLBT community is unwavering, deep and ever-present in all I do.

My consent to engage as a consultant with Manchester and Hyatt was informed by my desire to help resolve the issue and to make a friend out of a foe – not about my pocket. I decided to work with MGH because I believe that we all make mistakes and that people are entitled to forgiveness if they learn from them, apologize and make amends. I was called by the MGH to meet and discuss the ways I might help resolve the successful boycott. I agreed to meet and listen to their side. What I found out is quite different than what has been portrayed.

Doug Manchester acknowledged that his contribution to “Yes on 8” two years ago was a mistake, apologized, vowed never to donate to an anti-gay marriage initiative again, and pledged a total of $125,000 to GLBT causes.

In my mind this is a “win” for our community. I believe boycotts can be an effective and necessary tool, but boycotts are not an end, but a means to an end. I have come to believe that the leaders of the boycott have separate agendas from our community; using the boycott to advance their personal and professional goals. This was clear at the recent anniversary rally when only a dozen or so showed-up – the leaders of the boycott and paid union organizers.

I am not anti-union. I grew up in Flint, Mich. and know firsthand the good unions can do for people’s lives. But this is not a union issue. The GLBT issues I am fighting for and the union issues are not inherently tied together, contrary to what some members of our community want you to believe. They are two separate issues and the community is beginning to recognize that transparency. It is also important for people to know that among the organizers of the boycott are paid union workers – this is not a grassroots movement – it is a well-organized attempt to put union pressure on the hotel.

The staff at the MGH is one of the happiest and best paid in San Diego as measured by employee turnover and salary comparisons. MGH has a diverse employee population, including gays and lesbians, who are represented at every level of the property. These workers are the real victims of the boycott – the front desk clerks and room attendants – the very people the union is purporting to help. They are not being helped; they risk losing hours and money because of this boycott.

Proposition 8 passed with 52 percent of the vote. A shift of five percent of the voters would mean that we could have legal marriage for everyone in California. The way we are going to change people’s hearts and minds is by building bridges and educating people, not trying to destroy businesses and reputations with motives that are not talked about.

It is also worth considering that if we, as a gay community and as activists, remain incapable of recognizing when we have achieved a victory, continue to waste time, energy and resources on negative campaigns and initiatives against someone that has already become an ally, we won’t win because we’ll be mired in the futility of preaching to the converted when we should be moving on to other efforts and dialogues.

Ultimately, I urge each of you to make up your own minds – but do it based on the truth and all the facts. Let’s move forward.