From my own personal experiences, connections are rare in the gay community. If you’re like me, you’ve probably frequented the gay scene where you’ve faced the challenges in finding a long term partner. Then “out” in the real world, we are left to fend for ourselves, and sometimes the thing we call “gaydar” isn’t always on the mark. Sure, some people would disagree and say that “love” happens all the time in our community. We fall in and out of each others beds, quick connections at the local bar/club, but when hormones run high, we don’t usually end up really getting to know each other. Or when we do, the realization quickly dawns on us that he or she is not “the one.” In the end, many of us feel like people are just out of touch with love or more importantly, committing to a long term relationship.

Still, our search for Mr. Right, The One or a Soul Mate goes on. We hold on to the stories about a friend of a friend who met his boyfriend of three years at the bar or an acquaintance who was swept off their feet while buying coffee at the local Starbucks. We all hope that maybe someday this can be a story about you or I. Armed with the same optimism; we put ourselves out there in the same old places over and over again but with no luck. We remind ourselves that if people like you and I exist, (emotionally available, ready for commitment and tired of the same bars and clubs) then someone out there must be looking for the same thing. But how can we meet eligible single men or women?

According to Dennis Richardson, a representative from The Nuera Network – California’s leading gay matchmaking service, “People who want relationships are not the anomaly. In fact, the people in the club and bar scenes are actually a small percentage of our community. Sadly, society leads many people to believe that this is what’s out there. The men and women who want a real relationship are overshadowed.” This is great news. If there are more people like you and I out there, meeting other singles should be no problem. However Dennis gives a word of caution, “The most important thing before pursuing a relationship is to focus on your self first. This is the first step we encourage all of our members to take. Be aware of your needs and what you want in a partner.Dennis is right. Many of us do tend to neglect our own needs and tend to forfeit them in hopes of being with someone. We should definitely look for qualities that compliment who we are as a person. Dennis agrees, “Finding someone who mirrors your relationship goals, emotional availability and values can help foster a long term commitment. Many of our members are screened for these factors to maximize compatibility and success of the relationship.”

It seems that the best start is to focus on what makes you happy and let go of those that don’t. Remember what’s important to you, stand up for your values and don’t settle for the next best thing. So if the same old bars and clubs didn’t work out, then its time to move on. If he doesn’t call, just forget it. Don’t waste time waiting around for Mr. Right to come knocking on your door. Take charge and see for yourself what else is out there. As Dennis puts it, “Put your happiness first and the rest will follow.”

If you are interested in learning more about Nuera Network, call 1-877-967-7250 or visit www.nueranetwork.com/contact-us/php.