The GLBT community honored transgender people who have been killed this year because of hatred or prejudice during the Transgender Day of Remembrance march and memorial, last Friday.

“It is inspiring and wonderful to see so many people here, but I wish I didn’t have to stand here and look at the names of all those who have lost their lives over this past year simply due to transgender hatred and violence,” said local transgender advocate Connor Maddocks, who hosted the memorial ceremony. “Some day I hope we can live in a world where there won’t be any names.”

According to the Transgender Day of Remembrance Web Project, which collects data on the deaths of transgender people due to hatred or prejudice, 143 transgender people throughout the world were killed because of anti-transgender hatred or prejudice from January to mid November 2009, up from 43 reported in 2008, a 70 percent rise.

The event began with a march, which started at the San Diego LGBT Community Center, where 70 to 100 people holding lit candles and transgender supportive banners and signs marched westward on University Avenue to 10th Avenue and crossed the street and circled back to the community center, where the memorial was held.

Inside, 10 to 20 people read, in first person, a name and bio of a transgender person who had been killed this year because of anti-transgender hatred or prejudice.

“My name is Kamilla. I was shot to death by my boyfriend when he discovered I had been born male. It was in Volgograd, Russia on June 23, 2009,” read Mission Gorge resident Howard Menzer.

“My name is Camila Pereira. I was stabbed in Uberlândia, Brazil on Feb. 19, 2009. I was 20 years old,” read local activist Lisa Kove.

“My name is Noor Azlan Khamis. I was stabbed in Johor, Malaysia on Feb. 1, 2009,” read Laura Sutherland, a North Park resident.

After the reading of names, several transgender people shared their personal experiences of being discriminated against or attacked because of their gender identity.

Alekxia Valdez, a local transgender woman, said she lost custody of her son because she started transitioning from a man to a woman.

Valdez’s wife, the two separated several years ago, recently gave Valdez an ultimatum: either dress more like a man or lose co-custody of their son. One issue was Valdez’s long hair.

Valdez’s ex-wife told Valdez that she was embarrassed by Valdez’s hair because people could think their son and Valdez “we’re dating” or “that my son might be gay.”

This summer, at a mediation hearing between her and her now ex-wife, Valdez lost 95 percent custody of her son and the remaining five percent (two hours per week) required that Valdez see her son in the presence of an “authorized therapist.”

Valdez requested that she find a pro-transgender therapist but a judge denied it.

“I’m speechless because someone can discriminate against me because I’m transgender and then when I get someone that can help me with the issues, I still get discriminated against,” she said.

“Sometimes violence is [committed] not with a weapon but with the hammer of the law, the gavel,” she added.

Toni Witten, a local transgender woman, spoke about being outed recently by KGTV Channel 10 news.

Witten, who works for the San Diego International Airport, said the news program recently aired a story that identified her as a transgender airport employee without her consent.

“Since then I have received death threats,” she said, adding that her wife is very close to filing for divorce because of publicity from the news story.

Witten also has a three-year-old daughter and “unfortunately, it’s looking more and more like I’m going to be going down the same road as our last speaker,” she said.

“Is anyone immune from this?” asked Transgender Day of Remembrance Committee member Vicki Estrada, who ended the night’s program. “Nobody.”

Estrada said her and her wife Linda where recently in New York City and we’re confronted by two men who walked up to them and yelled, ‘You fucken faggots. You’re an abomination to god. You deserve to die.’

“I had never been that scared [in my life],” she said. “And he was right in my face.”

Estrada then spoke about a conversation she had with two women. Estrada asked the women how anti-transgender hatred and prejudice could stop, and they said, ‘Vicki you can’t. It’s human nature. It’s like war. It’s inevitable.’

In response, Estrada said, “Well I cannot and will not accept that.”