To end either a same-sex marriage or domestic partnership the couple cannot just walk away from each other. They must comply with the California Family Law to dissolve the relationship under the same terms and conditions as heterosexual couples.

For so ever a short period, California, allowed same- sex marriages. Then came the vote on “Prop 8.” Until the U.S. Supreme Court changes the constitution, same-sex marriage in California is off the table. The next best way to make a commitment to your partner is through a Domestic Partnership. By filing the appropriate documents in Sacramento, certain Community Property rights are established in a way not found in just a roommate situation.

Sadly, with any type of union between couples, there may be a time when the relationship breaks down. If both parties agree the relationship has reached the point of no return and are willing to sit at the same table together, there is no need to spend tens of thousands of dollars hiring separate lawyers to work through the dissolution process. Adversarial divorces in San Diego County can cost between $20,000 and up!

Mediation is a voluntary process for handling conflict or potential conflict in which the parties meet with a trained impartial mediator, who is skilled in the law as well as the psychology of the situation. The mediator assists the parties in reaching an agreement or settlement of all the relevant legal aspects involved in the ending of a relationship. Among the issues to be resolved are: custody and visitation; child support and expenses; real estate division and valuation; personal property accumulated during the relationship and its division; debts to be divided; spousal support and all other items which need to be discussed.

The mediator does not decide the outcome, nor impose an agreement upon the parties. He guides them into reaching their own agreement to include all relevant issues. An agreement is reached only when both parties are satisfied with all of the terms they have negotiated. Mediation sessions are informal discussions directed by the mediator. Both parties are given the opportunity to speak without interruption, describing their view of the relationship and the issues pertaining to an agreement. They synthesize their understanding of the duties and obligations toward each other or the issues pertaining to their separation. The parties may choose not to discuss the relationship, but to focus purely on the legal and financial issues.

The end product of mediation is a Memorandum of Understanding or Marital Settlement Agreement. This document will fully describe the parties assets and liabilities and the manner in which they have agreed to divide them. It is usual and customary for each party to take the contract to a lawyer of their choosing for independent review. This “second opinion” allows each participant to feel safe in the knowledge that the document is fair, reasonable and equitable. Upon its execution (signing) it will be filed with the Superior Court, be accepted by a Judge and ultimately become a Court Order.

The parties to mediation are encouraged to come into mediation with legal advice as to the parameters of their rights and obligations. Reality checks will save participants time, money and heartache.