This is not a tease: the cast of “Glee” is coming to a city near you. And they’re going to sing. When most hot young stars of a hot young show are taking their between-seasons break, they usually find themselves booked to shoot a terrible teen horror movie or romantic comedy. But the seemingly tireless “Glee” kids (all of whom are over 18 and therefore can be worked until they collapse in exhausted, Auto-Tuned heaps) are taking it on the road to sing live for the show’s insanely enthusiastic fans. The mini tour of America will include New York, Los Angeles, Chicago and Phoenix. And though it’s not been announced at all, you probably wouldn’t lose money if you bet that they’re eventually headed to Europe as well, where songs from the show dominate the pop charts and turn fans into Journey-catalog-downloading fiends. The mania has only just begun.

Lesbian mystery writer Patricia Cornwell’s immensely popular medical examiner Kay Scarpetta may finally, after a very, very, very long wait, be coming to the big screen. And Angelina Jolie is the power player who’s going to make sure it happens. The star of 17 Cornwell novels, Scarpetta is an older character turning forensic ingenue with an original screenplay featuring the case-cracking lady’s origins (otherwise they’d be offering the part to Meryl Streep, which really wouldn’t be such a bad thing when you think about it), this way the character can age as she does in the book series. Meanwhile, a woman in Hollywood will have a screen franchise of her own, just like one of the guys. Irish screenwriter Kerry Williamson is tackling script duties and the cameras could roll sometime in 2011, so you still have some waiting to do. Why not start reading those 17 books?

Miranda July, the bisexual artist, performer, author and filmmaker who created the lovely, awkward and strangely moving indie film Me and You and Everyone We Know, has not gone away, she’s just been busy not bothering to take Hollywood by storm. Since that film’s critically acclaimed debut in 2005, July has published two more books, participated in the Venice Biennale and has begun work on a new feature. Formerly (or possibly still, depending on where you read) titled Satisfaction, the story is built around a couple (July will star as one half of that unit) instead of the loosely connected ensemble of Me and You. And that’s all the plot we know right now, but in July’s own words, this one is set to be even “weirder” than the sometimes inscrutable, sometimes shocking weirdness of that earlier feature. Nothing is shot yet, so patience for this one will be its own reward.

Who would have imagined that a French action film about a woman and her gun would spawn such longterm devotion? But that’s exactly what’s happened with La Femme Nikita. After the original (with Anne Parillaud) and the Bridget Fonda-starring American remake Point of No Return and a USA Network cult hit TV series starring Peta Wilson that made lesbian pulses race, you’d be forgiven for thinking there was nothing new to explore here. You’d be wrong. Now Mission Impossible 3 star Maggie Q is picking up her own firearm to star in an updated relaunch of the series on The CW. Score one for Asian actresses (Quick: Who was the last one to headline a primetime TV drama? OK, we’ll give you a while to think about that one.) and for audiences that really want to see women in hot outfits committing acts of violence.

In keeping with the Disney Corporation’s transparent bid for global domination of all adorability-based product, they want to bring Dumbo to Broadway. Tony Award-winning director of Billy Elliot: The Musical, Stephen Daldry, is hard at work planning an adaptation of the 1941 animated classic and … why not? There’s already precedent in the people-dressed-as-elephants genre of musical theater (Addams Family star Kevin Chamberlin was nominated for a Tony for his searing portrayal of Horton the Elephant in Suessical) and the project comes readymade with great songs like “Baby Mine” and (the admittedly semi-racist) ‘When I See an Elephant Fly”. There’s no creative team assembled for this thing yet, which means it’ll be at least 2012 before any imagineered output is available. But think of all the giant-ear-themed products not yet produced, just waiting to be sale-tabled in Disney stores world over.

Romeo’s new theory is that Neil Patrick Harris consulted teen-star-turned-real-life-scientist Mayim Bialik to develop a genetic replica of himself. That’s the only explanation for how many places this guy can be at one time. Singing and dancing on the Oscars, hosting other shows, judging “American Idol”, Internet musical shorts, sitcoms: Ryan Seacrest has fewer jobs than Harris. But we’re not complaining. It’s kind of great that America’s sweetheart is a funny, talented, cool gay guy. And now he’s going to be in the Smurfs movie. The only information available at the time is that he will star as the film’s lead live-action character, whatever that means. Will he be blue? Will he be tall? Will he merely befriend many cartoon Smurfs like Jason Lee does with rodents in those Alvin & the Chipmunks movies? It’s a mystery for now. More details as they smurface.

“Dancing With the Stars”, the home of a lot of sparkly outfits and flourishes of the hand, just got itself one-upped in the unofficial primetime contest known as What’s The Gayest Thing We Can Put On Network Television? Its upstart rival: ice dancing. Thanks to BBC Worldwide Productions (which originated “Dancing With the Stars”’ predecessor “Strictly Come Dancing”) the six-year-old British program “Strictly Ice Dancing” is coming to America. Ice dancers will be paired with wannabe (and fearless) ice-dancing celebrities who are all sure to experience even more injuries than they do when they’re merely wearing shoes and being twirled around a studio. The American cousin has no name yet but it’s due to arrive later this year on ABC. Can we get Johnny Weir (not technically an ice dancer, but still) to host?

The Dinah Shore Weekend in Palm Springs, Cali., has been dubbed “Lesbian Spring Break” by more than one observer (aka all of them) and is the kind of event that provides a sharp counterpoint to a lot of media stereotypes surrounding women-who-love-women. In other words, when all 10,000-plus ladies show up in Palm Springs, they tend to party like a group of debauched gay men on Ecstasy. Doesn’t this sound like a great idea for a documentary? Someone else thought so, too, and now Out in the Desert, a film by Page Hurwitz, is a reality. Centered around individual women who come to the Dinah for a variety of reasons that are not solely based on dirty dancing and downing drinks, the doc also features some famously queer and queer-adjacent celebs like Carmen Electra, Margaret Cho, The Indigo Girls, Jenny Shimizu, Elizabeth Keener (Dawn Denbo!) and Suzanne Westenhoefer. Keep your eyes peeled for this one to pop up at film festivals and cable TV down the road.