Hey, sometimes you need to impress a date, your in-laws, the boss for his birthday, your parole officer etc, or some prissy La Jolla queen has asked you out to lunch and she is paying and you get to pick the spot, so here are the best and worst V.I.P. lunch locations.

What becomes a lengend? Mister A’s of course with not only the best view of San Diego around but one of the west coast’s top chefs; Stephane Voitzwinkler. This is a five star restaurant as far as we are concerned and it’s like having lunch on a first class flight to Europe. Though this San Diego landmark has been known for its pricey menu, they, like all places, realize that there is a bad economy going on and even now have a “Lunch for $20 in under 20 minutes” special for those on a time crunch to hide your affair that you’re having with your secretary. Their “Classic Lobster Bisque” reigns supreme and their “Maine Lobster Salad” is fabulous. Do check out their “Brandt Farm Beef New York Steak Salad” as well as their “Pan Roasted Loch Duart Salmon.” Hell, we Mexican queens can’t even pronounce these menu items, but we sure know great cuisine. All of their desserts are to die for and ask for Jerry, the best waiter ever! Now, of course, Nicole wasn’t paying (does she ever? The cheap bitch), our host was internationally acclaimed Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Dr. Danne King (recently on the cover of the American Plastic Surgeon’s magazine Dermascope Magazine). The good doctor might help fix Nicole’s fat cheeks which look like a cross between a Cabbage Patch Doll and the Bride of Chucky.

There’s two good reasons famous actor Bing Crosby is dead: No. 1, he can’t beat his kids anymore. No. 2, he can’t taste the food at this joint. Their “Wedge Salad” was like eating a latex outfit from the Crypt. Now don’t get us wrong, the place is beautiful, but as for the food, well, we’d rather eat at “Hometown Buffet.” Their “Soup of the Day” tasted like it was left out for a month and Frank called it left-over “gruel” from the movie Oliver! How hard was the bread you ask? Well, our beautiful lunch host, Mrs. Alma Rosa Vasic of F Street Corp. fame, (who always looks like a Playgirl cover model) asked the cute waitress and we quote, “Could you please bring me some bread that won’t break my teeth?” end of quote. As for their so call “Cobb Salad,” who made this mess? The Children of the Corn? And forget this place’s “Veal Scaloppini with Lemon Casper Sauce,” you’re better off staying home and eating a “Cup of Noodles,” while the staff at Bing Crosby’s is the only good thing about this place, its food is a disaster. Rest in peace Bing and move over as we predict that this restaurant will soon be joining in the land of the dead.