Hello and welcome to our column! For our first time readers, we would like to bring you up to speed on our weekly restaurant review. We have no aspirations of trying to be or comparing ourselves to an “Ivy League” column. What we are doing is reporting in a fun, light, over the top and blunt style. We hope you enjoy the reporting.

Bearing this in mind and before we begin our reporting on this week’s reviews, we would like to briefly touch on our wonderful gift, “The Right to Make Our Own Choices” and being fortunate enough to live in a country where we are free to make and express these choices and opinions.

Some of us grow up and can become anything from scientists, politicians, brain surgeons and engineers to stay home moms or dads.

Some people decide to open a restaurant. The reviews we write reflect our experience in visiting these public businesses and our opinion of the choices people make in operating their restaurant, the cuisine offered, style, décor, the quality food and staff they employ. To that end we experience and report on, “in our own style”, the sum total of what their choices and actions have created.

If we, the people, are going to spend our hard earned cash eating out, then we have a right to great food, a clean establishment and fun atmosphere in which to dine. I’m just saying.

LET’S ROLL:

Since this week’s feature is the Sex issue, we decided to have a little fun, visit a couple of out of the “Gayborhood” restaurants and mix things up a little.

We are not suggesting or condoning anything, just taking some liberty and parlaying our review with this week’s Feature. So don’t get your SHORTS or PANTIES up in a bunch!

Our first visit was to “BARE BACK GRILL,” New Zealand Burgers and Wiches located in Pacific Beach on Mission Blvd. What a fun place! Located just one block from the beach, this restaurant attracts some pretty hot looking people. Hey, who doesn’t enjoy some eye candy while eating out?

Everything here is all natural with grass fed beef, lamb & chicken. One bite and you can taste the quality and incredible flavors. I promise your mouth will be craving more, and you just might even get a little wet from the excitement! Even the potato chips are a real treat, but more on them later.

The menu header reads: “Gnarly Big Burgers & Size Matters Mate!”

Entrees include: Bare “B” Rger, Queenstown Fave, Average Joe, Hogs & Heffers, Bare Bit & Dirty, Blind Chooke, Meso Tasty, Bare Lass, Bare Lil Lamb, Holy Roller, Chuck & Squeal and Dirty Jerz. It was great to let our imagination have some fun with these menu selections. Where did your mind wander off to as you read these words and contemplated their meaning?

The beef, lamb and chicken are served on a white homemade bun and laced with Bare Back’s own special lube *#!@, I mean, ‘special sauce.’ The burgers, or “wiches,” as they are called come with a choice of either French Fries or homemade potato chips. They slice potato chips daily, deep fry and then season them with Parmesan cheese. They are so good and one is not enough. Your hands will continue reaching over for more.

The menu states “Fresh, Natural, Chemical Free Beef, Chicken, Lamb and Fish, served on freshly preservative free bread. All sauces use chemical free ingredients.”

Bare Back also offers a vegetarian burger made with Tempura fried tofu, spicy peanut sauce, yogurt riatta, aioli, cucumber, alfalfa sprouts, lettuce, tomato and red onion. This was Frank’s selection and he did not waste one bite, especially the fresh and hot bun!

It was hard to concentrate on just the food with all the sensory over load at every turn. Everyone was having a great time with family and friends. Like we mentioned, the eye candy only added to the fun. Our eyes kept drifting around the restaurant scoping out the really hot studs sitting right next to us and on the patio. Woof!

The overall seating is limited and close, so we had the opportunity to converse with other patrons. We met a real nice local couple who frequents Bare Back Grill and they raved about the food. The staff is very friendly and, of course, Bare Back Grill is one block from the beach. What more needs to be said?

Bare Back Grill lives up to its name Big Bare and Dirty in a good way and we give them a Bare Back Thumbs Up! They are located at 4640 Mission Blvd in Pacific Beach. Phone 858.274.7117. Check them out online at www.barebackgrill.com

We encourage you to venture out of the “Gayborhood,” treat yourself to a great meal at Bare Back Grill and an eye full of hot looking people!

Hooters in Mission Valley: Did your mouth just hit the floor? We certainly hope so. Our visit here turned out to be a huge surprise and an eye opener.

“Welcome to Hooters,” shouted a voice from across the restaurant, “please feel free to have a seat anywhere and someone will be right with you.” Feeling a bit out of place we selected a table. Within a few seconds a beautiful young woman, Laura our waitress, stopped by to introduce herself and welcomed us again. “May I get you something to drink?” she asked.

We mentioned that we were with the Gay & Lesbian Times, here to do a restaurant review and would like to take some photos for the article. Laura responded, “Great I just need to inform my manager, just a company policy and certainly there should not be a problem.”

Nervously, we waited and thoughts of being asked to leave began to run through our minds. What do we say if they are rude and ask us to leave? A few moments later the manager stops by to say welcome and give us his blessing. Laura sat down, began to chat up a storm about how much she loves our community. “How long have you worked here?” we asked. “Six years,” she replied and without hesitation she went on to say, “this is more than just a job.” All the girls who work for Hooters get the opportunity to enter into a company sponsored Beauty Pageant. The winners become Hooters’ Calendar Models and travel around the country participating in fundraising events for charities the company supports. To date, over 30,000 girls have participated in the beauty contests. Most of these young girls range from 18 to mid 30’s and are going to college or work two jobs. This was becoming a great experience.

We asked about the “look and endowment” girls must have in order to join the team. Basically, Laura stated, “they need to be healthy, fit and be able to appropriately wear the company uniform.” This uniform consists of skin tight tank tops, high and tight shorts. A BIG RACK plus HIGH AND TIGHT BUTTS are the norm.

Their average clientele are families and military. This was a surprise. “Families?” we asked. Laura said, “yes, indeed, in fact on Sundays kids eat free all day!”

Then, she stated something that really opened our eyes and dramatically changed everything. “You know there are a lot of lesbians who frequent our restaurant. They come in spend hours on end drinking, eating and watching sports. Everything from Tennis to Football and not only that but several staff members from MO’S are regulars. In fact, we visit each other’s establishments during our off hours.”

There are several gay families who also dine at Hooter’s on Sunday and have a great time with their children. Our mouths hit the floor, but we must confess our motive for visiting Hooter’s Mission Valley was to take some of liberty in using the company name and parlaying with this week’s feature story.

Oh yeah, the food! One of the great things they do on the menu is list the calories of each entrée and if you have special dietary requirements, they are more than happy to accommodate you. We had a salad and sliders, both fresh and delicious. Thank you Hooter’s Mission Valley for the kind and friendly welcome, and for everything you do in the community at large.

Hooter’s is located at 1400 Camino del la Reina, 92108

Phone 619.299.4668 or visit them in the Gaslamp at 410 Market Street

Phone 619.235.4668 Visit them on the web at: www.hooters.com