cranky lesbian says:

In response to your statement, “Don’t fight the referendums and ballot initiatives of the National Organization for Marriage or other anti-marriage groups, let them spew their hateful, bigoted spiel to the voters. Let the voters codify discrimination, then appeal to the courts. Let knowledgeable jurists decide whether the constituion should allow gays and lesbians to codify their relationships or whether we deserve equal protection under the law,” I say, it is these same voters who choose the judges at several levels. Or, indirectly elect the legislators who will eventually appoint said judges. Therefore, it is still important to take the time and effort to educate the public through elections and other methods than let the oppositon run amuck and unchallenged with their “hateful, bigoted spiel.” With preparation and meaningful campaigns we will change minds!

Jamie S says:

The sad fact is that we will never have a country where every citizen is afforded equal rights unless and until legislators and judges vote according to the law and not according to their own personal and religious prejudices and until these hateful archaic religions handed down from the superstitions of thousands of years ago are truly separated from the justice of government.

I do hope the government will investigate these rogue churches preaching and supporting hate and violation of civil rights, financing elections, and remove their non-profit status. The sooner they go out of business the better for all mankind.

jeanette says:

Sara is adorable. When she speaks her mind about prop 8, I get choked up. My idol.

Jamie S says:

Good article Autumn on a topic that is rarely explored.

While I’ve been out of the dating pool awhile and about to celebrate my 6th anniversary with my TS partner next month, I feel a transgender person, no matter how “passable” or where they may be surgically / physically should disclose their status prior to any physical activity with a potential suitor, no matter how difficult it is.

The difficulty with this lies with the fact that as you explained there can be a big difference between a cross dresser out on the town for a fling, and say a 19 year old transsexual girl who looks, lives, and relates 100% as a female and fell head over heels in love with her “Prince Charming,” and is terrified of being rejected.

While the cross dresser may not have an issue with disclosing their status to a potential partner, a teenager or young adult may face enormous personal and peer pressures to keep their “secret” private.

I think the bottom line is true love transcends gender. I never in a million years expected I would fall in love with a transsexual woman. But our relationship isn’t about what’s under the hood. It is a deep friendship built upon common values, shared experiences and mutual respect.

Unfortunately for many transgender people entering relationships, disclosure can bring about the immediate end of the relationship based upon bigotry, peer pressure, or just outright phobia. In the case of a love interest perhaps it is best to learn early, for a casual fling disclosure can save a life.