Sam Trego is a 49 year old single gay man who has had an accomplished career in show business. He is the producer of the show “iL CiRCo” and “Cirque de la Mer” which are large scale theatrical extravaganza’s that tour internationally and play locally here at SeaWorld San Diego (for 10 years). He has just returned from a four day trip from Costa Rica where he did all the talk shows, press conferences, late night shows, early morning shows and everything in between promoting the opening of his Latin America tour in October. He very kindly agreed to fit an interview in with the Gay and Lesbian Times, despite his busy schedule.

GLT: Sam, thank you very much for taking the time to talk with us about fatherhood and equal rights. I know you are very busy.

ST: I have to say, it’s a unique pleasure to be interviewed on these areas because as much as my work has gotten world-wide attention, it is this story that I’ve never come out with in public, and yet it is the most important story of my life work…my personal journey through fatherhood, that has led me to be an outspoken activist for equal rights for ALL people. I feel my son Alek is in a way an angel… a messenger that has opened my eyes to the importance of the issues at hand right here, right now at this time in history. All of these emotions surged in me on the eve of the rally and march in Hillcrest on that amazing and historic night when Prop 8 was legally defeated. I’m often told that I need to write a book to tell my story. That might happen one day, but for now this is the first interview that I am doing that is for once not about my show or the work I do on stage, but the one about something far more important.

GLT: How did you become a Dad and did you know you always wanted to be a Dad?

ST: Like a lot of gay people and a lot of people in general, I always wanted to be a father. I always imagined my life since an adolescent as being one with a successful career in show business, a husband, a big white house and children. It was the night of December 15th 2005 when it came to me as clear as it can be that I had achieved all my life’s dreams exactly as I had planned, but there was something missing. I had some amazing love relationships but never a husband, so I never thought I could have children on my own. A quick search on the internet showed me that it’s entirely possible to have children as a gay person… even as a single person. It was then I called a company called “Conceptual Options” in Poway. It was amazing to me when I learned that San Diego is a place where gay people from all over the world come to begin the process of having children through surrogacy. We are very fortunate to have the laws that we do have in place at least for surrogacy, even if not for equal rights. I then attended an annual conference of the wonderful “Family Matters” organization and Kelly O’Donnell (Rosie’s wife) was the keynote speaker. She said something to me that I will NEVER forget which sealed in place the profound importance of my decision to have a child on my own. She stated that it would likely not be OUR generation that would see equal rights, but it would be our CHILDREN’S generation… and that it would likely be ushered in by our predominately straight children that are not the freaks of nature that the fanatic right wing would like the rest of the world to believe. In fact, they likely might be more educated, more loved, and be in positions that could really make a difference in the world of equal rights, due to their upbringing and their story. I knew then that my decision to have a child was the right decision, and that perhaps something more profound was at work here. I absolutely believe that in my heart that something great is at work when a child is brought into this world… especially by someone who has to work so hard to bring this child into the world. My son Alek was no mistake! No child is!!

GLT: What are some things that are different between you and a heterosexual Dad?

ST: Sometimes I feel that the world is looking at me to make a mistake as a parent. Besides I’m a single Dad and I do have to be Mom and Dad. That’s not a job for the weak at heart. I have a whole new respect for the single Mom’s of this world! But I think because we are on the cusp of Civil Rights, and the right wing is looking for people like me to make a mistake in parenting so that they can use it on their next deceptive TV ad campaign, I have to be twice as good of a parent. I have to be the one who volunteers more often for school events, and I have to be a better parent in general than my heterosexual counterparts. It’s made a bit easier because I have one of the most amazing children in the world. I do believe however, that as a gay parent in the midst of the civil rights movement, we simply have to be better. To be honest, I think that’s a call to the entire gay community… not just to the parents in the gay community. We are all one here and leading by example is the best weapon against the enemy.

GLT: How is your experience and Alek’s experience different because of your sexuality and where we are in the fight for our GLBT rights?

ST: My experience, because I’m a gay parent in the midst of the civil rights movement, compares to seeing a movie in black and white or seeing it in 3D iMax. My sexuality is actually not a huge factor in my parenting, however, seeing the unequal treatment of the community that I love, and realizing that it’s still illegal for my son to have two proper parents is my motivation to evoke change.

GLT: What do you think is the hardest part about being a gay parent in America right now?

ST: The hardest part is waiting. Waiting for equal rights. As a parent, you want the very best for your child, you want it now, and there’s nobody that can tell you otherwise. We are being told that as a community we have to wait right now, and that doesn’t come easy when you want a better world for your child.

GLT: Do you consider yourself an activist?

ST: NEVER. Until now.

GLT: How do you think Alek and kids like Alek with GLBT parents will change the world?

ST: When I mentioned the story about Kelly O’Donnell, it really made me realize that my desire to have a child was actually more than a desire… it was a responsibility. I believe it’s not just acceptable for gay people to have children, but if gay people want children, then they need to consider where that desire comes from, and that perhaps it is important that they follow through with that desire. I don’t want to sound like a Whitney Houston song, but I absolutely believe that the children ARE our future, and that it is the children of gay people who will evoke change in this world. This will be positive change for gay and other repressed people. I see that vision clearly, and I believe my son does as well. It’s amazing to stare into an innocent child’s eyes that has not yet been taught to hate others because they are different. It’s also amazing as a parent to realize that you can help shape this child’s experience so that he could take this movement to a whole different level. I do believe that this is the most important message that our community needs to hear, and that it’s an empowering message whose day has come.

GLT: What are your hopes for Alek and the future generations?

ST: I do hope that we can eradicate hate. I don’t think that it will come with our generation, but just maybe it will come in my son’s generation.

GLT: One would think that being a GLBT parent would qualify a person as an activist, would you agree?

ST: Yes… absolutely yes. Being any parent gives you instant qualification and motivation to be an activist. That’s kind of “built in” to the parenting thing. I adore our heterosexual counterparts who march with us, hand in hand with their children. To me, it gives great hope, and great motivation to keep telling the good news to others who are less evolved and think that hate and “voting for rights” has a place in this nation.

GLT: Do you and Alek have to display more courage than your heterosexual counterparts?

ST: Absolutely yes. I tell my dear Afro-American friends that unlike their grandparents, I could hide if I wanted to. I could “fake it” as being straight and therefore take less risks, but I can’t do that. I shout it out from a mountain top… not requesting better treatment because I’m the “gay dad” at PTA meetings, but because I’m the same. I think I first realized that about a year ago when the teacher at my son’s Montessori pre-school told me when I picked him up “Your son is awesome… he belted out a medley of 3 Cher songs in full voice today”. I said “only 3?” I know my son is not afraid to be who he is and that he’s proud of his Cher-listening gay dad!

GLT: When you heard the news about the stay how did you feel?

ST: I’m trying hard to teach my son about patience. This is what we are being told right now… that it ultimately might be good for our cause. I believe that, and I think I’m not only teaching, but also still learning patience.

GLT: Even though Alek is young what has he participated in so far that has to do with GLBT and human rights?

ST: Well, his first march was when he was sixteen months in the Pride Parade. Since then, he’s done four human rights marches and two other Pride Parades. In addition, we are members of San Diego’s “Family Matters” organization and have done one Rosie O’Donnell Gay Family Cruise.

GLT: Sam, do you mind if I ask Alek some questions?

ST: Not at all. Please go ahead.

GLT: Now Alek, how old are you?

AT: 4… almost 4 and a half.

GLT: What is your favorite color?

AT: Blue.

GLT: What is your favorite thing to do with your Dad?

AT: Go to Toys R Us to buy Transformers.

GLT: How did you feel at the Day of Decision?

AT: I was so proud!!!

GLT: Do people ever ask you about why you do not have a Mom?

AT: No.

GLT: Have you ever been teased?

AT: No

GLT: Do you believe everyone is equal?

AT: Yes.

GLT: Should everyone have the same rights?

AT: I don’t know… I guess.

GLT: What food is the grossest ever?

AT: Peas… they’re yucky and gross!

GLT: If you could have any super hero power what would it be?

AT: I would want to fly.

GLT: What do you want to be when you grow up?

AT: I want to be a teacher.

GLT: Sam and Alek thank you so much for your time. It has been a pleasure talking to you both. The Gay and Lesbian Times wish you every happiness and success in your future endeavors. Thank you.