Author Tina Fakhrid-Deen founded the Chicago chapter of COLAGE and was its volunteer coordinator for eight years. She has presented for organizations such as PFLAG, LadyFest, The Adler School of Psychology, Family Week and many more. Honored as one of the Windy City Times Top 30 under 30 LGBTQ activists and profiled by the Chicago Tribune, Tina currently resides in Chicago with her husband and seven-year old daughter.

GLT: Why did you feel writing this book was important?

TFD: I felt that it was important for youth that have GLBT parents to not only be heard but also have support. The truth is the only ones who really know what it is like to grow up with GLBT parents is the youth who have them for parents. There is so much negativity out there about GLBT parents and people for that matter that it is important to hear what they have to say as they are the ones who live it.

GLT: Are you a GLBT parent or did you have GLBT parent(s)?

TFD: My mother is a lesbian and I am a mother, however I am not a homosexual.

GLT: When did you think I have to write this book?

TFD: There were so many reasons I felt like I had to write this book. When I was younger I felt lonely and like I was the only one out there. When I started writing this book and interviewing thousands of kids with GLBT parents, I was like wow, there are so many! However I live in Illinois and it was ridiculous that there was such a lack of resources for GLBT parents and their children. I had gotten involved with COLAGE in the process of writing this book and I felt so connected and impressed by what they were doing, I started COLAGE Chicago and that was eight years ago. In the course of time I would get GLBT parents asking me a lot of questions and that is how this book came about and here we are today.

GLT: The book layout is very interactive do you think that helps when keeping a young person engaged?

TFD: Absolutely, I am a high school teacher so yeah, (laughs)! Young people these days are very tactile learners. I wanted it to be reflective, interactive and fun.

GLT: Do you feel like you have taken any slack for writing this book and using terms like “gay spawn”?

TFD: Yeah, I do. But at the same time for some it is jarring but this is how a lot of kids identify in their own slang and lingo. It is also important that we are defining ourselves and that should be what matters. It is empowering for any minority to lay claim to their identity and how they relate in their community.

GLT: There are terms with definitions from GLBT culture, what was your motivation for including these in the book?

TFD: I did not want to assume that anyone already knew all the GLBT terms. Also with youth they say certain things and it is important that they understand what they are saying along with what others are saying to them. I also wanted a frame work from which we could all understand and be on the same page with.

GLT: What age group would best benefit from this book do you think?

TFD: I would say 11 to 21 depending on the child. While I say 11 there were 10 and 9 year olds interviewed and they gave some of the most prolific answers. It also varies of course because there is a different set of needs between a child that has grown up with GLBT parents and is six and a twenty one year old who’s parent just came out and to them this is a new concept still.

GLT: How do you hope this book will help those who have GLBT parents and their parents?

TFD: I hope it will empower, connect and educate. I want it to send a message to the youth of GLBT parents that the power is within you. This could be to educate others, to not assume the worst. To understand yes some people are ignorant yet that is an opportunity to teach. It is different for youth that live somewhere that has a large representation of themselves and their families. But in the places that the youth do not have that, they might not know anyone like them. Every youth whatever they call it their crew, support, system needs to be in place, and more so if they are young people with GLBT parents. Not because they are surviving their parents, but because they are surviving a hetrosexist and homophobic world, and it is viewed as acceptable.

GLT: What is the best advice you can give to GLBT parents and their children?

TFD: The best advice is always talk to your kids and do not assume just because they do not speak about certain things to you that they are not concerned about you. Any parent does there child a disservice by not addressing racism and homophobia. Even if your child has support and everything seems to be in place, it is about being prepared. Otherwise it is like having a sailboat with no life vest. I guess all I am saying is be prepared. It is also equally important the youth feel they have a voice and speak up. Do not be a martyr and allow yourself or your family to be insulted. The thing is at thirteen speaking out is really scary. So communicate, educate, support and embrace who they are and who you are.

Thank you for taking the time to speak with us and for the enlightening advice, The Gay & Lesbian Times wishes you all the best in your future endeavors.