A lot of younger kids are very excited to attend school and look forward to the experience. However, some children have a lot of anxiety about it. For those who feel anxious about school there are ways to relieve this. Children tend to carry feelings and perceptions throughout their educational career so making school as positive as possible has a lot of bearing on their future. As parents, your attitude and energy towards learning will directly affect theirs. If learning is always presented as something fun and interactive they will have a better understanding of what to expect, making them less fearful. Communication about how fun it will be and listening to their concerns will give you a better understanding of what they are feeling about school. Also making the preparation exciting and special is important. Going to pick out school supplies, a back pack and lunch box can be fun and this will also give them confidence and a positive association towards learning and school.

It is hard enough being a teenager let alone a GLBTQ teenager. With so much stress and emphasis put on who you know, what you wear and who you date, it can get very confusing for youth that are GLBTQ or who have parents that are. It is our job as GLBTQ people to further educate everyone including our youth. Those in their teen years will frequently feel as if they are not being heard, and it is imperative that they not only have a voice but they are listened to. Another issue our youth face is feelings of belonging and security. The more secure they feel at home the better equipped they will be to deal with the pressure of school. Letting them know that they do not have to fall into the boxes or labels that others put on them will ensure they do not get trapped for life in a role society pushes on them. Simply to act as though there is no difference between those with GLBTQ parents and those with heterosexual parents does a disservice to everyone.

According to Let’s Get This Straight 51% of youth with GLBTQ parents reported that they felt unsafe at school because of their perceived or actual sexual orientation, a personal characteristic, or because of their race/ethnicity. Of these, 23% felt unsafe due to their family makeup (i.e. having an GLBTQ parent) and 21% felt unsafe due to their perceived or actual sexual orientation. 65% of youth with GLBTQ parents frequently heard students use blatantly homophobic language such as “faggot” or “dyke”. 17% heard these remarks made about their own families. 75% of youth with GLBTQ parents frequently heard students say “that’s so gay” or “you’re so gay”; expressions where gay is meant to mean something bad or devalued. Merely 38% of youth with GLBTQ parents reported that staff intervened when these biased remarks were being made by students. 39% of youth with GLBTQ parents witnessed homophobic remarks being made by teachers and other school staff. Less than 48% of youth with GLBTQ parents ever reported harassment. More than 30% felt like they were excluded from participating in school in some instances due to having a GLBTQ parent. 36% felt like the teachers and other school staff ignored the fact that they had a GLBTQ parent, and 22% were blatantly discouraged from talking about having a GLBTQ parent.

Talk to the school ahead of time, as well as to the teachers and staff, so that they understand that you are GLBT. You certainly do not want to find out they have an issue with it through your child. An open and honest dialogue about how all families are different will also better prepare your child for questions that may come up, and it will also ease their mind to know other people are different in other ways. One of the most important aspects of helping your child succeed in school is simply being involved and having open communication. When youth with GLBTQ parents were asked what advice would you give to other GLBTQ parents to help their children, this what they had to say.

Talk about it. My dad didn’t really discuss it. –Will, 18

I would advise the parents to be open themselves, which must happen before a child can be open about their parents. Being comfortable with yourself makes the child more comfortable. – Emily, 16