BOSTON (AP) – For state Sen. Jarrett Barrios, the question of marriage for gays and lesbians hit home hard two weeks ago during a frantic telephone call to a hospital after his adopted 7-year-old son fell ill with a high fever.

The nurse was at first reluctant to talk to him, he said, because the hospital’s records listed the boy’s parent as Doug Hattaway – Barrios’ partner of 10 years and a former spokesman for Vice President Al Gore.

When Barrios insisted he was also the parent, the nurse asked “Are you married?” Barrios said.

“I admit I was a new parent, and I thought as many new parents that he could die on my watch while I was fighting with a nurse over whether I was his parent or not,” Barrios said.

As one of two openly gay Massachusetts state lawmakers, the question of marriage for gays and lesbians is more personal for Barrios, father of two adopted brothers, Javier, 12, and Nathaniel, 7.

In a plea tinged with tears, Barrios asked fellow lawmakers meeting in a joint constitutional convention to reject a proposed constitutional amendment that would define marriage as the union of a man and woman.

The question is more than symbolic, Barrios said in a speech delivered from the well of the House chamber.

“Let me ask you this. Is my family so different than any of yours?” he said. “My son got sick. I called the hospital. Children do get sick and we need to have health care coverage for them. We need to have services for them. Their parents need to be treated as equals to other parents.”

During the unprecedented two-day debate, many lawmakers have touched on their life stories to illustrate their support or opposition to the proposed amendment.

Several black lawmakers pointed to their own experiences with racism to explain their opposition to the amendment which they said discriminated against same-sex couples.

“I was born in a time and in a place steeped in America’s apartheid. The whites-only signs that some of you have read about in history books were a daily experience of mine,” said Rep. Ben Swan, D-Springfield.

Supporters of a constitutional ban on marriage for gays and lesbians also tapped their personal lives. Rep. David Flynn, D-Bridgewater, told his fellow lawmakers his support of the constitutional ban has alienated a member of his family.

“I lost a member of my family last night because of my vote,” said Flynn, who opposes marriage for gays and lesbians. “And I say to that member of the family, ‘I love you, I want you back in the family, but you must understand that I took the oath of this office.’”

Elizabeth Malia, an openly gay representative from the Jamaica Plain neighborhood of Boston, said telling personal stories helps put a human face on a divisive debate.

“The most difficult part of this whole debate is people being able to understand and identify who we are,” she said. “It’s easy to forget that when you’re not engaged in that dialogue all the time.

“I know it’s moved a lot of people who had no idea of some of the difficulties and problems that people live with who are in lesbian and gay relationships,” she said.

Malia, who has been in a relationship with her partner for 30 years, said sometimes using personal stories is the best way to convey a message.

“There are times that you focus on those things, and this is a time,” she said.

Rep. Shaun P. Kelly, a Dalton Republican and opponent of the proposed amendment, asked lawmakers to consider Malia when they voted.

“There’s no such thing as a compromise about how integrated we are going to make other human beings,” he said. “Is she eight-tenths of a citizen? Nine-tenths? Ninety-nine-point-nine-one-hundreds?

“If you believe that the love that Liz has for her partner is less than the love that you have for your spouse, I would suggest that you’re wrong,” he added.