The annual Family Matters Conference and Resource Fair, taking place at The Center on March 6, brings together San Diego’s GLBT families for a day of workshops, speakers, fun and learning for kids and parents, as well as those considering parenting. The event is designed to address as many GLBT parenting issues as possible. This year’s lineup includes 15 workshops, panels of experts on various issues and a resource fair. The keynote speaker will be Kelli O’Donnell, co-owner of R Family Vacations and partner of Rosie O’Donnell.

The event is expected to draw several hundred attendees. Along with the general public, all 700 of the Family Matters families throughout San Diego County have been invited.

“We’re going to take over the whole building all day,” said Marci Bair, executive director of Family Matters. “We’ve got doctors, nurses, midwives as well as real estate agents, holistic health practitioners, massage therapists, mortgage brokers, accountants, photographers – anybody that deals with families, really, are all going to have booths there.”

For those considering parenting, there are workshops discussing starting a family biologically – through insemination or surrogacy – and non-biologically, through foster parenting and adoption. Experts on the various kinds of adoption, such as international versus local, and open versus closed, will have resource tables at the event. Foster parenting agencies and medical professionals will also be available to discuss both biological and non-biological options directly.

Those who are already parents can attend a positive parenting workshop – on “how to parent ‘little people,’” Bair said – and workshops for mothers raising sons and fathers raising daughters. Along with a workshop on how to successfully blend different religious faiths in GLBT families, there will be several multicultural family workshops and workshops focusing on transgender parents or those considering parenting, bisexual parents or those considering parenting, single parenting, grand parenting, donor issues and school decisions.

Bair said one of the most popular panels each year is the teen panel, where teenagers ranging from 12-18 years old speak about what it is like growing up in a GLBT household. The teen panel ends each conference.

“Most of the teens say that they love their family and they wouldn’t change their family, but at certain ages it was more difficult than others,” she said. “Primarily junior high was the roughest time for them, but it is for all kids, so that was just one more thing that they dealt with. They said by the time they got to high school, it was kind of cool to have two dads or two moms, but during middle school time, it was the roughest. That’s why we want to hear from them, and we’ve heard from some of them three or four years in a row, so we’ve really gotten to see them grow and see how they have different issues from year to year depending on their own development.”

Family Matters was able to secure Kelli O’Donnell as the keynote speaker through O’Donnell’s new travel company, R Family Vacations, which she co-owns with Atlantis Travel director Gregg Kaminsky and Rosie O’Donnell.

“We’ve been to a number of different cities and participated in gay pride festivals and different family events,” O’Donnell said. “San Diego is not a place that I have been to and I’d love to meet the families out there. I was excited when they asked me to speak – I’ve never done it before; it’ll be my first time speaking at a conference.”

R Family Vacations began a few years ago when Rosie O’Donnell, the featured performer on a gay male cruise run by Atlantis Travel, asked Kaminsky why similar cruises were not offered for GLBT families. Kaminsky, Kelli and Rosie O’Donnell began to form R Family Vacations shortly thereafter.

Kelli O’Donnell said part of the reason for setting up the company was to find more families like theirs. “I feel like if we’re searching for other families for our kids to participate in their lives, than everyone must be searching,” she said. “I also went to Provincetown this past year to the Family Week, and saw what an impact it had on my own kids, and how great it is for them to meet other kids that have families like theirs. Also, it’s empowering for them to not have to walk in with me and be asked where the daddy is when on vacations. That [other kids] say, ‘Do you have two moms or two dads?’ It’s really an embracing situation for them.”

The first R Family Vacations cruise ship leaves New York City on July 11, calling at Port Canaveral, Key West, Nassau and Norwegian Cruise Line’s own private Bahamian island. The cruise will feature kids’ programs, motivational talks by retired NFL star Esera Tuaolo and discussion groups led by Family Pride Coalition on adoption, insemination, surrogacy, and other helpful topics for GLBT parents or those considering parenting.

O’Donnell was still in the process of compiling the topics she would cover in her keynote address for the Family Matters conference when she spoke with the Gay & Lesbian Times. “I feel like it’s very topical right now, and there is a lot to talk about,” she said. “I do think [adoption] is something I’ll talk more about, and taking a more proactive role in what is happening right now with gay marriage and rights as parents and different issues. I think there are so many issues: medical issues, spousal privilege issues, adoption issues – you could go on and on about the issues facing gay families today.”

Two issues that have personally affected the O’Donnell family recently are spousal privilege and adoption. In a recent court case between Rosie O’Donnell and her former publisher over the demise of Rosie magazine, Rosie O’Donnell was denied spousal privilege – conversation that takes place within the context of a protected relationship – during the proceedings and was forced to submit private letters and conversations between her and Kelli O’Donnell as evidence.

The O’Donnell family recently supported the challenge of four gay men, foster parents seeking to adopt their children, to overturn Florida’s statewide ban on GLBT adoptions. “We have adopted kids of our own, and we had a foster child out of the state of Florida that we were not allowed to adopt because we are gay,” Kelli O’Donnell said. Last month, the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled against the men.

O’Donnell said the couple is looking into obtaining a marriage license in Massachusetts, then filing in the state of New York. “We’re sort of in the process of figuring out how we can do that. But we definitely will take and active role in what’s happening,” she said.

Though arguably one of the most visible GLBT families in the nation, O’Donnell said the pressure of being a national role model is minor compared to the daily responsibilities of career and family.

“I would love to say that I feel the pressure, but I don’t really,” O’Donnell said. “I feel more pressure to be a good parent and a good spouse. It’s our family that is the most important thing. I do think that it’s important that we stay together and that we stay as a family and that our public image is there, because I do think that it is something for people to look at, but I feel more the pressure that everyone feels, of keeping a good, healthy relationship and trying to be a good parent to four kids.”

The Family Matters Conference and Resource Fair runs from 8:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. on Saturday, March 6. Pre-registration for adults is $25 and $10 for children. Day-of registration is $35 for adults and $15 for children. Breakfast and lunch is included in the conference fee. Vendor tables and sponsorship opportunities are still available. Call (619) 298-5431 for more information, or visit this article online at www.gaylesbiantimes.com for an online registration form.