This posting, by “Beautifulmagic” on a message board at www.GayTeens.org, is in no way unique. Thousands of messages like this one turn up on message boards throughout the Internet each day, as glbt youth struggle to find support, advice and a sense of community online.

The outlet is certainly needed. Being a GLBT teen today may seem to have gotten easier over the past decade. There are more positive role models than ever before on TV and in the media; more openly gay and lesbian politicians than ever before bring visibility as well as inclusive legislation, such as that for hate crimes, to the political table; and grassroots efforts have successfully decreased open discrimination of teachers and students in the schools. All of this would seem to make being gay or lesbian today almost a “nonissue” for Generation Y and younger.

But that’s not the case. As if it’s not hard enough being a teen, being a GLBT teen still adds additional stress, often isolating youth from family, friends and “normal” social activities. The studies are sobering: Research shows that GLBT teens are still at higher risk for depression, suicidal thoughts, drug and alcohol abuse, homelessness and anti-gay violence. According to Lambda Community Services (www.lambda.org), the typical high school student hears anti-gay slurs 25.5 times a day.

Here in San Diego, the situation is no different. Fortunately, numerous community programs and youth groups exist to support GLBT and questioning teens with their emerging issues about sexuality.

So what’s it really like to be gay and under-21? The Gay & Lesbian Times went straight into San Diego’s youth community to find out.

To a GLBT youth, school can seem like a colossal war zone, complete with name-calling, bullying and, in some cases, extreme violence. Ninety-seven percent of students in public high schools report regularly hearing homophobic remarks from their peers. And the bigotry does not exist solely in the student population.

Lambda reports that 53 percent of students hear homophobic comments made by school staff. And perhaps most shockingly, 80 percent of prospective teachers report negative attitudes toward gay and lesbian people.

Growing up gay in a heterosexual family presents an entirely different set of obstacles. Lambda reports that 19 percent of gay men and 25 percent of lesbians say they suffer physical violence at the hands of family members as a result of their sexual orientation, and 11.5 percent of gay and lesbian youth report being physically attacked by family members. When school feels unsafe and home provides no comfort, many GLBT teens are left feeling hopeless and alone. Forty-two percent of adolescent lesbians and 34 percent of adolescent gay males who have suffered physical attacks [at school or at home] also attempt suicide. Eighty percent of gay and lesbian youth report severe social isolation.

“I totally think it is easier to be straight as a youth than to be gay,” explains Arianna Conseur, a 20-year-old, active member of San Diego’s GLBT community and an out lesbian. “It is embedded in our minds from day one that straight is the only option. It’s everywhere, from our parents, school, church, media, even billboards and advertisements in magazines. Imagine all the trials and tribulations that the average youth experiences, now multiply that by 10 and you’ve got a gay youth.”

Conseur began having crushes on other girls as early as the first grade, but didn’t come out to herself until the eighth grade. At first she found it easiest to embrace the label of bisexual, leaving an “open door” to assuage her parents’ concerns about her sexuality.

Two years later, however, she felt the need to come out again as a proud lesbian.

“I had to remind my parents like once every two months for a couple of years that I was gay, because they kept forgetting that I had come out. It took my family a while to finally accept this wasn’t going to change. Now they are completely supportive parents that show up at Dyke March, invite my girlfriends into our family and respect my passions for GLBT activism. It took some major fights, and heartaches, to get to this place of understanding with my family, but I got there.”

Out and about in the GLBT community, Conseur has been confronted with many of the issues affecting GLBT youth today.

“Depression is running rampant among gay teenagers. I have a number of friends that have all gone through similar stories of depression, and thoughts of suicide as a teenager,” Conseur says. “The world can seem like a very frightening place when you are a gay teen. I think isolation plays a large role in the gay youth’s saga. As a gay teen it is difficult enough to accept ourselves as well as handle the rejection of others. If there is no one to turn to that understands, or no example of a positive ending, then that just feeds the already festering depression.”

Conseur adds that she knew several kids in high school who were thrown out of their homes because of their sexuality. This is not surprising to Lambda Community Services, which reports that approximately 40 percent of “street kids” self-identify as gay or lesbian.

“Perhaps if American society was not so afraid of accepting the fact that we need gays and lesbians more accurately represented through media, advertisements, entertainment, politics, etc., then we wouldn’t have these kids growing up feeling so helpless and alone,” Conseur says.

Here in San Diego, it’s impossible to walk around Hillcrest without spotting cliques of GLBT youth. Tuesday through Saturday, teens between the ages of 14 and 24 drop by the Hillcrest Youth Center to take part in workshops and discussions, play pool, cruise the Internet and hang out with friends.

“The Hillcrest Youth Center is the only drop-in facility for LGBTQ youth in San Diego County,” explains Jennifer Davis-DeFeo, coordinator of the Hillcrest Youth Center. “With that in mind, we service approximately 130 new/unduplicated youth per month and between 300-350 total visits per month. The youth are 40 percent female and 60 percent male and are between the ages of 14-24. Sixty percent of the youth are Latino, African-American, Asian, Pacific Islanders or Native American.” Davis-DeFeo aims to support these youth by providing programming that is both fun and educational. However, the main goal is simply to give GLBT youth a place where they feel they belong.

“We offer a safe place for youth to hang out, engage in recreational and social activities, explore educational and career opportunities and meet other youth that identify with their community,” says Davis-Defeo. “We are open arms to every youth that walks in the door and offer them many opportunities to assist the youth community in being visible in the community at large.”

GLBT youth are also known to frequent Hillcrest coffee shops such as The Living Room, where clusters of pierced and primped youth gather late at night. Coffee seems to be the main alternative to alcohol for kids who are too young or not interested in going to bars. But for those who seek out a more wild nightlife, Tijuana provides a racy alternative. The city’s close proximity to San Diego, along with its active nightlife and lowered drinking age, make it a popular destination for teens. GLBT dances held at both the University of California, San Diego, and San Diego State University, are also popular amongst the under-21 crowd, providing GLBT kids with a safe space to let loose and dance.

“For me, the under-21 scene consists primarily of open mics and concerts,” explains Conseur. She does, however, note a few setbacks to being under 21. “I love to party late with friends and there are only a few places open past 10 or 11 that accommodate the younger crowd. There is also a shortage of 18-and-up dance clubs in San Diego. I love to go to dancing, see my friends play gigs at bars, stay out late and not be at Denny’s. All this will be more easily achieved when I am 21.”

College is a milestone that many GLBT teens look forward to, viewing it as a time during which they can become more independent, as well as be surrounded by more GLBT-centric activities. However, for GLBT youth who survive high school and decide to move on to college, life on campus often presents a new set of complications. Coming out to roommates and friends, meeting other GLBT students and staying safe on campus are just a few issues that co-eds face. Transgendered students face additional obstacles, as gender influences even some of the “simplest” decisions, such as deciding which dorm bathroom to use. In order to support students on campus, most universities now provide GLBT student centers and student unions. But as Ben Cartwright, president of San Diego State University’s LGBT Student Union and director of the campus’s GLBT Center explains, GLBT college students are still in need of additional support and programming.

“The biggest issue that we’ve been discussing [on campus] lately is fitting in with the greater GLBT community. There is a big emphasis within our community on youth programming and on adult programming, but college students who fall somewhere between those two groups don’t always have programming specific to them. They may not feel comfortable going to the Hillcrest Youth Center and hanging out with 15-year-olds, but they are also still students and feel separate from the adult community. There seems to be a lack of programming specific to college students.”

Cartwright, who is busy planning one of the student center’s biggest events of the year, a GLBT barbeque set for March 24, explains that GLBT college students are in need of positive role models. “San Diego needs more mentoring programs,” he explains. “We need adults to look up to, adults who will help us with job-hunting, resumes and other important life skills.”

With or without adult role models, the GLBT youth of San Diego are still making their mark. On May 1, San Diego will hold its second annual Youth Pride Festival, a day full of youth programming, activism, live performances, gay-friendly vendors and more. Ren Petty serves as coordinator of Youth Pride, and is one of San Diego’s most dedicated youth activists.

“I came up with the idea to offer a safe space for young GLBT people and their allies to go and find other youth like themselves,” explains Petty. “I remember having just come out and thinking I was the only one. I was exposed to the Gay Youth Alliance (GYA) and Pride and found that there were lots of kids out there just like me. So, I took the idea a step further with assistance from Pride and created Youth Pride.”

This year’s Youth Pride promises to be bigger and better than last year’s celebration. “What is exciting about the second anniversary of Youth Pride is that this year’s planning committee is all new people, with a few exceptions. We have fresh new ideas and an exciting outlook for the success of the event. Even with the rain last year there were more than 300 young people in attendance throughout the day. That is awesome. Our outreach has expanded a ton this year also, so we are hoping to have upwards of 600 youth from as far north as San Francisco,” says Petty.

Whether you’re a teen or an adult, there are plenty of opportunities available in San Diego to get involved in youth advocacy. The Hillcrest Youth Center accepts both adult and youth volunteers, dedicated to empowering GLBT youth. Both SDSU and UCSD have active GLBT centers in need of financial and manual support. The Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) for San Diego County has numerous ways to become involved in helping to create safe schools. In addition to offering general membership and volunteer opportunities, GLSEN also sponsors internships for college students. And finally, San Diego Youth Pride and Gay Pride are always in need of enthusiastic volunteers, dedicated to youth programming.

“I like the idealism in the 21-and-under scene,” explains Arianna Conseur. There are so many charged people, believing that change can happen soon rather then later.”

So what are you waiting for?