“It [fame] does make it easier to have sex with way cute boys, boys that are out of my league, and it makes it harder to have a relationship. But I don’t really want a meaningful relationship right now, so what’s happening is fine. By the time I do want a meaningful relationship, the inappropriate young cute ones will all have pissed off and it’ll be me wanking over my Baftas with a three-legged blind dog surrounded by piles of old newspapers.”

“Here’s the denouement of the epic drama over gay marriage. It’s going to happen, it’s going to happen within a generation, and it’s going to happen even though George W. Bush teed off his re-election campaign this week by calling for a constitutional amendment to outlaw it. As the country has now had weeks to digest, it has already happened in bulk in San Francisco, where images of couples waiting all night in the rain to be wed finally wiped Janet Jackson off our TV screens. The first of those couples, Phyllis Lyon, 79, and Del Martin, 83, were celebrating a partnership of 51 years. Take that, heterosexual marriage! The most famous practitioner of mixed-sex nuptials this year, Britney Spears, partook of a Vegas marriage that clocked in at 55 hours.”

“We think it crosses the line of decency. We don’t support the harassment or attacking of family members, gay or straight, of elected officials.”