In recent weeks, I have received two most unusual letters. They are so weird that initially I wasn’t going to respond to either of them, thinking they were total fiction. But after speaking to their writers, I am now convinced they are “real”, so here we go.

I guess this is “sex with support staff” week, or some equivalent thereof. Well folks, in the world of psychotherapy, we psychotherapists never have sex with our clients. (No, not even a kiss.) This is because of what we call “dual relationships”: If I am your therapist, I cannot have another (dual) relationship with you – as in being your lover, fuck buddy, friend, etc. I need to focus on our primary relationship (psychotherapist-client) and reject any other (dual) relationship. In my world, this is called firm and healthy boundaries. However, from my own informal research, the rules may be much looser with plumbers, dentists and other folks.

Dear plumber-kisser: handsome plumbers can probably kiss any one they want to. The question is: Do you want to? It’s flattering that a cute plumber is attracted to you. (After all, why did he come back to check on your sink without his assistant? How conscientious some hired help can be!) It sounds like it is your choice if you wish to have “dual” relationships with him: One relationship is customer-plumber, and the other? We’ll leave the definition of that one up to you.

However, have you considered how the former relationship can affect the latter one? What if his work isn’t up to par and a month from now you need to have more plumbing done? (Sorry, couldn’t resist that one.) If you have a sexual or romantic relationship, how might it affect your customer-plumber relationship? Maybe this isn’t much of a risk for you – after all, you can always get another plumber. But this kind of dual relationship could be a much bigger risk with the guy who’s sleeping with his dentist.

The dual relationships of dentist-patient and fuck buddy-fuck buddy could be trouble: What if you want to end the sexual relationship and he doesn’t? Or vice-versa? Perhaps the bottom line is: How much do you want this guy to remain your dentist? How can he be objective about your teeth (what you need, how much it may cost, etc.) if he is having sex with you? This could turn out pretty badly …

And yet, both of these relationships could play out just fine. I can’t predict the future here. But know, dear dentist-fuckers and plumber-kissers, that there is a real potential here for trouble. Perhaps not now, but in the future. Why? Because dual relationships have a high degree of risk, and can get complicated and uncomfortable when one relationship crashes into the other. Only you can decide if the risk is worth it or not.

By the way, I didn’t contact the plumbers or dentist unions, but I can imagine their response, e.g., real professionals don’t do stuff like this. However, in real life, weird, messy and unpredictable stuff happens all the time.

P.S. I have to say that the pink blanket on the dentist’s floor is just the perfect touch, isn’t it? And how nice of him to lock the door. Come to think of it, maybe this is why I can never get a late afternoon appointment with my dentist.