When Carla Coshow, owner of The Flame, first bought the bar along with four others in 1984, she wanted to establish a place where lesbians could go and feel at home. Twenty years down the road, The Flame still reigns as Hillcrest’s most popular gathering spot for lesbians. But all that comes to an end this month, when Coshow retires and turns the keys over to the owners of Numbers.

“I usually tell anybody that works for me that this wasn’t a lifetime job,” Coshow said. “There were five partners originally when we opened the bar, and I bought them out about 10 or 12 years ago. I’ve had a pretty good run here, but I think it’s time for some other sharp, young lesbian to put it together to open up another club.”

A line of people wrapped around the block to get in when The Flame opened on April 27, 1984, and the establishment has been a cornerstone of the lesbian – and the GLBT – community ever since. “I didn’t like what was really available out there, so I grabbed some partners and was able to okay this building and create a place that women could have a great time in, that catered to them,” Coshow said. “I had to put six toilets in instead of two, and my male partners didn’t understand that that was vital.”

One of the founders of San Diego’s first GLBT publication, the Gayzette, in the early 1980s, Coshow has always been active in the community. It was natural for her to bring that activism to The Flame, she said, which has held numerous fundraisers and rallies over the years. “We’ve done surfers; we’ve done softball stuff; we’ve done individual women who are walking, riding or running for any kind of a breast cancer or AIDS awareness – we’ve always sponsored people for stuff like that,” Coshow said. “When 9/11 struck, we probably did six different fundraisers for the American Red Cross.”

She said the receptions The Flame held for the Alano Club for the last eight years have been the most financially successful, although she did not hold one this year. “We knew we were on our way out, so I have done some other things for them instead.”

Though predominantly a lesbian bar, The Flame branched out other clientele, hosting a variety of theme nights. “We had a Goth night, we had the first Hispanic night, we did the first salsa kind of night in San Diego, we used to do a night for the African American community called ‘Soul Food’ – we’ve reached out to a lot of different segments of the community,” Coshow said. “I think the ‘Boys Nite Out’ was probably the most popular night we ever had here, and the Saturday night for women.”

Many of Coshow’s regular patrons have lamented her retirement. “We are getting a lot of people looking back and remembering their memories here and all wondering where they are going to go for gay pride,” she said.

Coshow, too, leaves with fond memories. “The most fun I had was when we used to do the go-go search for the girls that we would select to put on our [Pride] float every year. That was probably one of the things I look back on that really brings a smile to my face.”

The owners of Numbers have bought The Flame, but as of yet have not unveiled their plans for the venue.

Coshow said she has been enjoying selling real estate for the last couple of years and has another potential business opportunity, but has no definite plans for opening another venue. As for that young, hip lesbian taking over the redesign, “I’m hoping that somebody local will rise to the occasion and see this as an opportunity for themselves. That’s exactly what happened to me.”

For more information about Coshow’s retirement party on Saturday, April 17, call (619) 295-4163.