It’s been touted as one of the coolest places to go for some of the best burgers in San Diego. The kicked-out atmosphere and intergenerational patronage attracts everyone from polished-toed yuppies and Gap shoppers to blue-collar workers and toothless drunkards.

But as far as I am concerned, The Waterfront can take its famous fry grill and circa-1934 liquor license to the eastern border of Santee – and maybe tack on a bowling alley when it gets there. If the miserably cramped patio isn’t an indication that this joint has stubbornly outgrown its space, then the dim-witted bumper stickers on the walls confirm it. One of them reads, “I’d quit drinking, but everyone hates a quitter.”

Out of respect to dive bars, which I normally cherish, The Waterfront takes a bending plunge to the bottom of the tank in that it tries to be something of a restaurant while catering to the obnoxiously inebriated. Sadly, each gets in the way of the other.

During a recent visit with two friends, we needed to jimmy our way to the bar through a durable drinking crowd and scream over the din of six televisions blasting the evening’s Padres game in order to request some grub. The bartender could barely keep up with the pace. And in the absence of any floor staff or directional signage, we fended for ourselves in figuring out where we could sit and how we should order.

After seizing a wobbly café table on the patio, we then needed to keep a close eye on the bartender through the open-aired façade while wondering if our orders would be brought out to us. He eventually tossed the cooked food onto the bar like one might throw bread on a lawn for birds, and then raised his hand in the air without calling our names. It’s the kind of customer service that makes going to McDonald’s seem like a pampering experience.

Accompanying our food baskets was a full tray of condiments that appeared to date back to the day after Prohibition ended, which is when the Waterfront supposedly obtained its liquor license. Little plastic jars are used to hold all the usual hamburger fixings, but the lids to some of them were obviously missing in action that day as the mayonnaise sported a thin yellowish film over the top. Lucky are those who drank themselves into oblivion that evening and effectively overlooked the spoilage.

Each of us opted for The Waterfront Burger with cheese – a small fried patty that the menu claims is a “quarter pounder.” The big rave about the burgers here is that they’re topped with caramelized grilled onions. Yes, the flavor was decent, but clearly overrated.

We also added to our meal spread an order of Chili Cheese Fries that were mediocre in flavor, even though the chili was loaded generously with chunks of ground chili beef. A basket of two Fish Tacos, however, became the evening’s biggest disappointment. They carried a whole lot of eye appeal with their colorful fillings and white sauce, yet the only element we could taste was the corn tortillas.

Other menu items include Fish and Chips, Onion Rings and various types of hamburgers topped with pastrami, bacon or chili.

A refreshing Pale Stone Ale helped wash down my regret of ingesting a lot of wasted calories in an atmosphere that some might consider hip while others reach for their most effective headache medicine. Die-hard drinkers will find nearly a dozen beers on tap, along with a full liquor rack. There is also a “featured wine of the month” and your usual chardonnay and merlot.

Wait service, I discovered later, is available only until 7:00 p.m., after which the place usually gets very busy. Twisted logic? Indeed, yes. But nobody at The Waterfront questions the system as long as the booze and burgers are flying.