A teacher walks into a class of seventh- and eighth-grade students. Her students ask her if it’s true that she got married. “Yes,” she says. Students want to know her husband’s name, and how long they had been together before getting married. She tells them.

A boy starts muttering negative comments about her being heterosexual. She tells him that his comments are unwelcome and hostile. A father, who does not have a child in the class, attends a school board meeting to complain about the teacher’s actions. “A seventh-grade history teacher announced to her students that she’s straight. I’m very upset and disappointed that this person was bringing up her heterosexual platform to the classroom.” The school board launches an investigation.

Sounds absurd, right? But change the facts a little, substituting a gay man talking about his marriage in San Francisco, and you have the facts of a case involving Ron Fanelle, a Camarillo middle school teacher who married his long-time partner, Randy, on Valentine’s Day in San Francisco.

According to the Los Angeles Times, in March Fanelle’s students asked the social studies teacher if he was gay and had married. He replied that it was true. Fanelle had previously told his principal and fellow teachers at a staff meeting, where teachers congratulated him. Fanelle has filed complaints against two teachers who apparently did not abide by his request that they keep his marriage confidential. Fanelle told the Times, “The kids walked in and there was a buzz about it.”

They asked him whether he got married on Valentine’s Day, and whether he married a man. He said it was true. “Then they gave me a standing ovation,” Fanelle reported.

But then a boy in the class began to mutter negative comments. Fanelle read aloud the sexual harassment code in a student handbook. He also discussed suffrage (women’s rights), bigotry and the Magna Carta.

The school received one complaint from a parent, who later backed off, and the parents of one of Fanelle’s students pulled their child out of his class. A few weeks later a parent named David Maddux brought up the matter at a school board meeting that was televised by the Pleasant Valley School District.

“I come to you tonight with a heavy heart,” Maddux said. “A seventh-grade history teacher announced to his students he’s gay. I’m very upset … that this person was bringing his homosexual platform to the classroom. Mr. Fanelle opened a homosexual dialogue, telling his class he used to be married and he decided he wanted to be homosexual. He said he had homosexual feelings and tendencies.”

Superintendent Tom Dase said that the board is not investigating an individual, “and we’re certainly not investigating Mr. Fanelle because he’s homosexual.”

Of course not. The district investigates every incident where a straight teacher tells students of their marriages. (Right.)

School Board President Sandra Berg said, “We’re trying to set parameters and find out what the appropriate procedures would be for kids.”

The answer to that one is simple: The federal constitution, the California Constitution, federal law and the California Education Code require school boards to treat all teachers the same, regardless of gender and/or sexual orientation. A straight teacher at Monte Vista Middle School would not be subject to an “investigation” for discussing his or her marriage, or for discussing discrimination, in the classroom. In fact, if anything the school board is required by law to prevent students and parents from harassing its teachers. The law also holds boards liable for tolerating a hostile work environment. In the last few years, we’ve read of the huge cases won by Lambda Legal on behalf of students harassed by teachers and peers. The same laws apply to teachers as well.

Fanelle’s complaints that other teachers violated his privacy by discussing his sexuality are worth pursuing. To their credit, parents of kids in Fanelle’s class have rallied support for him, with one parent writing a letter to the principal commending Fanelle as a great teacher of his son and daughter.

My problem with the Fanelle case is that school districts in California are still removing students from the classrooms of teachers who are openly gay or lesbian. Can anyone imagine a school board approving a request to remove a student from a classroom because the parent didn’t want the student taught by a woman, an African-American or someone of color? Imagine what would happen if all non-Christian parents wanted their children taught by non-Christians?

Talk about a teacher shortage. Not only would we have lots of unemployed practicing Christians, but what would happen to Christmas vacation?