When Pride season kicked off a few weeks ago in Long Beach, my friends and I were ready and willing to partake in the seasonal festivities. We secured a hotel room right on the parade route, packed up the car with a weekend’s worth of Pride necessities, and made the drive to one of the biggest queer parties in the country. Unfortunately, almost immediately upon our arrival, we were not met with rainbows, drag queens and the usual Pride fixtures.

Instead, while we were walking from our hotel room to the festival site, a car drove past us and one female passenger inside the vehicle screamed out, “Dykes!” in a tone that was far from warm and welcoming. It was slur, a blatant one at that, and the first of it’s kind that I had experienced in all my days of being an out lesbian. I was shocked.

Now, don’t get me wrong; I wasn’t shocked that someone picked me out as a dyke. I’m no star of “The L-Word”, with my short haircut, boyish clothes and blatant girlfriend on my arm. What did shock me was my reaction to the word “dyke” as it flew at me from a passing car, along with the way I was suddenly forced to reevaluate a word that for so long had held a permanent, prideful place in my vocabulary. Referring to myself as a dyke had always been an empowering way of describing myself as a strong, politically minded lesbian, intent on raising both visibility of and equality for women like myself who love other women. Hearing the word from a bigot’s mouth changed its tone and meaning entirely, leaving me with a myriad of questions. Where did the term “dyke” originate? When exactly did it take on derogatory or positive associations? And who exactly holds the right to give a word its meaning?

My search for answers began almost immediately, on the Internet. Google the word “dyke” and, surprisingly enough, you actually do hit a few lesbian sites before being confronted with an endless list of porn sites. Search a little harder and you’ll find that many theorists believe that the word dyke is derived from “Boudicca” (pronounced Bou-dyke-ah), a Celtic queen who led a revolution against Roman occupation in 67 A.D. There is no evidence to prove that Boudicca shared her bed with any lady loves (in fact, she received her kingdom upon the death of her husband). Instead, it is believed that Boudicca’s courage and ability to stand up against male domination may be why the word dyke was later applied to women who resisted conforming to traditional, patriarchal relationships.

Other studies of the word dyke speculate that there is a strong relationship between its lesbian connotation and the definition of the word “dike” as a dam or barrier. It’s not a long shot to imagine that a grumpy old man who failed to get into the pants of a woman may have described her sexuality as the barrier preventing him from getting his needs met. Along those lines, dyke has long been used to refer to more masculine, butch women who prove to be more outwardly lesbian. The phrase “diked up” has long been used in the way we currently use “decked out” to mean dressed up, or clad in fancy clothes. Some queer theorists believe that, with that intention in mind, “diked up” was used to describe women who dressed up in men’s clothes and gave off a more butch appearance.

Although the exact source of the word dyke may never be clear, we do know that it was primarily a derogatory term until queer and female activists of the 1960s reclaimed it as their own.

Today we continue with this tradition of empowerment, as can be seen from the numerous Dyke Marches that will take place across the world during the upcoming summer months. Here in San Diego alone, we’ve got Dykes on Bikes, regular Dyke March meetings, our very own dyke bar, and maybe even “Dick Van Dyke” reruns on TV (if you’re a dyke with cable). You name it, we’ve dyked it – and the trend doesn’t seem to be changing.

So what has my journey into the word dyke taught me? First, the obvious, that each one of us holds the power to give words their proper meaning. If the word dyke means something specific to you, no one has the right to take that away from you. And second, there is indeed a lot to be learned from the history of our language. Thanks to my experience in Long Beach, I am now part Celtic queen, part barrier to the patriarchy, and part stylin’ woman who likes to get “diked out” every once in a while in baggy jeans or a tuxedo. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but “dyke” will never hurt me.

So, if you’re a dyke either living in or visiting San Diego, you may be wondering where you can meet other dykes (besides the U-Haul rental joint on University). Here are a few of Queer Abby’s suggestions:

To get involved with the local San Diego dykes who are busy planning Dyke

March ’04, visit www.gaylesbiantimes.com for a link to the VAGINA website, or swing by planning meetings at The Center on Wednesday nights at 7:30 p.m.

To watch dykes mix socially in their natural habitat, swing by Six Degrees, at 3175 India St., and support our remaining dyke bar. Sunday afternoons at the Six are the best – $1 Bloody Marys, $1 mimosas and sunshine all day long!

To get involved with creative dykes, make an appearance at Siren, San Diego’s open mic for women. On Thursday, July 22, Siren will celebrate its first anniversary at David’s Coffeehouse, with a night of spoken-word, music, comedy, activism, and more. Fulfilling Siren’s mission “to provide a safe space in which female artists may inspire and support one another via the expression of the creative arts,” the night will include open-mic sessions, as well as featured performances from Lynn Breedlove (author of Godspeed and front-woman of Tribe 8) and Sherilyn Connelly (author of the chapbooks Substance and Sublimation). The show starts at 8:00 p.m. (open mic sign-up starts at 7:30 p.m.), but be sure to show up early if you want to get a seat!

If music is your thing, make sure to swing by Rich’s DJ Idol this Wednesday night. In Rich’s version of American Idol, three DJs compete live in order to win the audience’s vote. You’ll dance, you’ll cheer… you may even see a Simon look-alike make out with a Randy look-alike! Rich’s new Tuesday night lineup is also not to be missed. POP Planet on Tuesdays features hot music and lots of pop videos playing on large screens.

Looking to get out of town with your favorite dyke? Palm Springs is hot, fun, and super gay this time of year! Villa Mykonos is a resort in Palm Springs for both men and women. If you’re looking for the perfect relaxation spot to unwind with your partner or with friends, Villa Mykonos’ suites are spacious and luxurious and have everything you could want or need. Just call Gary at (800) 471-4753 for information and reservations.

If you’d rather stay in town and party, don’t forget that Bad Kitties goes off at Numbers every Friday night. I hit the dance floor there just last week and had a blast. Another hot spot on Fridays is Bourbon Street’s ladies’ happy hour, starting at 6:00 p.m. Come back for Saturday’s Disco Inferno night, starting at 9:00 p.m., with DJ Kenny spinning all your favorite disco tunes. One hundred dollars goes to the best disco-inspired outfit – so get “diked up” and enjoy drink specials all night long.

To get in touch with the dyke who wrote this column, email QueerAbby@hotmail.com.