“I am at home recovering from my two surgeries [for breast cancer]. Wow, I didn’t see this coming. But the good news is they took out the tumor and a few lymph nodes, only one of which was positive...the centinal node (for those that know breast cancer speak). After that my margins are clean! I still have both of my breasts and whether I will keep them is a bridge I have to cross later. What an unexpected journey this is.... I will be entering the phase of chemotherapy next. Who knows what that will bring.”

“I know that many of you wanted to see my husband and some of you had questions out there. Is he hot? Yeah. Is he hung? Yeah. Is he [she waved her hand to suggest bisexual]? Not unless you can give a better [she mimicked eating a banana] than me.”

“I don’t want to escalate it because I like Madonna. She’s been to my house for dinner. It was something that was said in the heat of the moment, and probably should not have been said. Would I apologize to her if I saw her? Yeah, because I don’t want to hurt any artist’s feelings. It was my fault. I instigated the whole thing. But it applies to all those bloody teenage singers.”

“[Bush voters are] self-righteous, gun-totin’, military lovin’, sister marryin’, abortion-hatin’, gay-loathin’, foreigner-despisin’, non-passport ownin’ rednecks who believe God gave America the biggest dick in the world so it could urinate on the rest of us and make their land ‘free and strong.’”