In the wake of the election, critics, pundits, organizers and especially donors are venting, scratching, pointing and pondering. No one person, organization or candidate is to blame – in fact, we all are.

Those who put all their resources into one place may be particularly frustrated, especially with opinions flying about the role of gays and lesbians or of same-sex marriage in the presidential election. These opinions have been delivered by friend and foe, gay and straight, telling us what we should be doing to achieve our equality. We may find ourselves wondering who our real friends are these days.

In this past election, at least 65 qualified openly gay and lesbian candidates were on ballots at all levels of government across the United States – in red states and blue ones. Despite amazing odds and in some cases vicious attacks, 41 candidates prevailed in 20 states and D.C., including candidates in five of the 12 2004 marriage ban states – Utah, Georgia, Michigan, Oregon and Missouri (passed earlier this year).

What can we learn from these results? We are most successful when we take our future into our own hands. It’s time for more gay and lesbian leaders to step up and serve. Whether that means running for elected office or seeking an appointment to a public commission or local committee, we have the power to influence our own destiny. And, one thing stands clear for gay and lesbian candidates this year: We were much more successful in the races where we played offense than where we played defense.

We are not going to get to a level of true equality without having a direct vote at the tables of public policy-making. Local and state races make up 99 percent of elections in the United States and they are both the starting point for a career in public service and the place where most policy battles impacting our community are being fought – often successfully. More members of our community need to seek these positions.

The lessons from the fundamentalist community are repeatedly clear – a “bottom-up” strategy works. They have run and supported candidates for office at the local level for years and they now have a tremendous impact, usually not to the benefit of GLBT Americans, on legislation and elections. In addition, local elected officials can influence elections at higher levels by issuing endorsements and mobilizing their friends, associates and fellow worshipers.

But, this is also how many gay and lesbian candidates won this year – by building relationships and breaking “one issue” stereotypes the old fashion way – face-to-face, local issue by local issue.

We need to execute this strategy on an even bigger scale. Enough whining, kvetching and frustration. More qualified people are needed to run for office so we can win in the 10 states that still do not have a single openly gay public official (until this year, that number was 13).

Of course we will still need friends in office whom we can lobby, as well as the progressive community’s support, but these relationships are even stronger when it is colleague to colleague with a vote to barter. The impact that openly gay and lesbian officials on GLBT issues raised in their states is significant.

An impressive number of gay and lesbian candidates ran for office this year. Those who were well-trained and ran disciplined campaigns fared well and won almost three quarters of their races. The Victory Fund played a role for those just entering politics, by providing training and money to first time candidates like Lupe Valdez and Nicole LaFavour, who won their races in Texas and Idaho, respectively. Candidates like Julia Boseman and Chris Kehoe moved up in their political careers in North Carolina and California. And our incumbent members of Congress all won re-election.

Achieving our equality is our responsibility. We cannot outsource this to any political party, national candidate or lobby. The strategies should be ours and we should own the outcome. Our election partnerships need to be built around specific issues in each state and jurisdiction; there is no “one size fits all” in politics. By addressing local community concerns and cultivating long-term relationships with leaders and electorates we almost always dissolve prejudice and overcome obstacles that have formerly hindered our electoral success. And, though progress may seem stalled at the federal level at this moment, our community ensures its own success and accomplishment every single year with every qualified gay and lesbian candidate we elect.