It’s time to haul out the Christmas decorations and see the jolly holiday shows again. Cygnet Theatre offers two plays by the Sedaris kids, David and Amy, while The Old Globe offers the seventh incarnation of How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be an elf?

No, I don’t mean for Halloween or a children’s party. I mean an adult Santa’s elf in a department store at Christmastime, wearing one of those impossibly green suits, striped tights, silly shoes and a dopey-looking hat.

Humorist David Sedaris told us all about it years ago on NPR, and now Dennis J. Scott shows us the horror (and hilarity) of it on the Cygnet Theatre stage.

In Santaland Diaries, Sedaris, recently arrived in New York and needing work, finds himself applying to be an elf at Macy’s. If that idea isn’t depressing enough (think about it: “I’m a 33-year-old man who’s applying for a job as an elf”), he has to fill out a 10-page questionnaire.

Those “lucky” enough to make it past the paperwork go to Elf class, where they are told, among other things, to be unfailingly cheerful and perky. All day. Every day.

The show is replete with hilarious encounters and catty comments about coworkers, but the following observation tells the tale: “Did you ever notice that Santa is an anagram of Satan?”

Still, after the endlessly boring and face-breaking stint as a perky elf, Sedaris finds the positive: “I’m not a good person, but suddenly I was good by association.”

Maybe that’s the message.

Scott plays the elf with the weary air of one who has been there. He told me after the show that, though he’s never been an elf, he once played Heathcliff the cat at a ski resort where his suit jammed in the machinery, forcing him to spend three hours on the ski lift. And another time, a Ninja turtle in a parade when the temperature was so high he passed out from heat exhaustion, and kids were frantic, fearful the Ninja had died.

Take a break from all that feverish Christmas shopping and catch this show. You’ll never look at department store Santas the same way again.

The Book of Liz is a hodgepodge of outrageous characters (four cast members play 13 characters) and situations centered around an Amish-looking religious community calling itself “Squeamish.”

The Squeamish, dependent on nature rather than machinery, keep financially afloat thanks to the efforts of Sister Elizabeth Dunderstock (Annie Hinton), whose cheese balls have become both legendary and extremely lucrative for the group.

But poor Liz, of innocent saintliness and profuse perspiration (part of the plot) is treated badly by paternalistic elder Rev. Tollhouse (Michael Grant Hall) and newcomer Brother Brightbee (David McBean) – so badly that she decides to run away. The Book of Liz recounts her adventures in the big, bad, sinful city.

Essentially a series of extended skits of uneven quality, loosely woven into a plot, this provides a few giggles but more questions about the logic of the piece.

Liz first dons a peanut costume (elves, peanuts – are we seeing a trend here?). Later, in the play’s funniest section by far, she becomes a waitress in a restaurant that employs recovering alcoholics, where she runs into fast-talking Cecily (Melissa Fernandes) and acid-tongued Donny (McBean). The animosity between these two is a (hilarious) sight to behold. At one point, Liz asks for a translation of something Cecily said.

”It’s completely coded,” Donny answers. “It means ‘I can’t control my love of the grape, but I can control you.’”

Liz proves to be such a good worker that manager Duncan (Hall) decides Liz would make a good manager – but he wants her to get medical help for the sweating. After this, the play veers off into idiocy, a place inhabited by two other characters, who seem to have wandered in from another comedy skit: Oxana (Fernandes) and Rudy (McBean), Ukrainian refugees who inexplicably speak Cockney.

The Book of Liz boasts better production values than lines, and is helped immeasurably by Hinton’s spot-on performance and by McBean, who lights up the stage whenever he appears. Hall is good in his rather thankless roles as well. Fernandes apparently has been directed to talk blindingly fast – so fast that it’s difficult to understand her. This does not serve; the material is not that strong. It’s not a good plan to make the audience work that hard when the payoff is so little.

The Book of Liz has its moments, but the script is a tad too close to sitcom territory for my taste.

Santaland Diaries plays through Dec. 20. Shows Mon.-Wed. at 8:00 p.m. and Sun., Dec. 12 at 7:00 p.m. The Book of Liz plays through Dec. 23. Shows Thurs.-Sat. at 8:00 p.m.; Sun. at 2:00 p.m.; Sun. at 7:00 p.m. Dec. 19. For tickets: (619) 337-1525 or visit www.gaylesbiantimes.com for a link to their website.

It must be Christmas – that mean old Grinch is skulking around the Old Globe Theatre stage again, plotting to do away with that much-too-happy holiday.

David Brannen reprises the Grinch-with-a-heart-two-sizes-too-small with the insouciance he has brought to the role since 2000. Aided by his faithful but reluctant dog Max (Rusty Ross), the Grinch comes up with a “wonderful, terrible” plan to steal all the presents in Whoville. Surely that will eliminate all that annoying laughing, shouting and (worst of all) carol singing from the town.

He straps a particularly mortifying set of fake antlers on poor old Max’s head, hitches him to a sleigh and steals all the trappings of Whoville’s Christmas – presents, tree, decorations, everything down to the last morsel of food – one so small even the mouse refuses it.

Of course, everybody knows no grouchy old green Grinch could really steal Christmas because it’s in the heart, not the packages. But it’s fun to watch him try.

The joy of this story is in the telling. Director Jack O’Brien helps visually with what is, after all, a story meant to be read. One of Dr. Seuss’ greatest contributions was making reading fun through the magical use of words. O’Brien describes them in the program notes:

“Made up words. Inverted words. Silly words. Solemn words. Musical words. Percussive words. Words that float like feathers, that loop like birds, that squiggle like gerbils, that splat like tubas.”

But it’s impossible not to love the visual aspects here too – the crazy costumes, the vamping oldsters, the shopping bags from Whostrom and Horton’s Plaza.

This “Grinch” has all the magic and charm of the first production.

The usual suspects: Brannen, Ross, Melinda Gilb and Eileen Bowman – are as good as ever; newcomers Ken Land (Old Max), James Vasquez (J.P. Who) and Phil Johnson (Grandpa Seth Who) fit right in, and the kids are adorable – especially Shawn Moriah Sullivan, back for a second shift as Cindy-Lou Who.

I’ve seen every incarnation of this show since 1998, and every year the magic wins me over.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas! plays through Dec. 31 at the Old Globe Theatre. Shows Tues.-Thurs. at 7:00 p.m.; Fri. and Sat. at 7:30 p.m.; Sun. at 7:00 p.m. Matinees Sat. and Sun. at 2:00 p.m. For tickets call (619) 23-GLOBE or visit www.gaylesbiantimes.com for a link to their website.